The Case is Altered/Act V Scene II
Enter Juniper, Onion, Finio, Valentine.
Junip. 'Swounds, let me go; hey catso,
catch him alive; I call, I call, boy; I come,
I come, sweet heart.
Oni. Page, hold my rapier, while I hold my friend here.
Val. O here's a sweet metamorphosis, a
couple of buzzards turn'd to a pair of peacocks.
Junip. Signior Onion, lend me thy boy to
unhang my rapier.
Oni. Signior Juniper, for once or so; but
truth is, you must inveigle, as I have done,
my lord's page here, a poor follower of mine.
Junip. Hey ho! your page then cannot
be superintendant upon me; he shall not be
addicted, he shall not be incident, he shall
not be incident, he shall not be incident,
shall he?
[He foynes.]
Fin. O sweet signior Juniper!
Junip. 'Sblood stand away, princocks, do
not aggravate my joy.
Val. Nay, good master Onion.
Oni. Nay, and he have the heart to draw
my blood, let him come.
Junip. I'll slice you, Onion; I'll slice you.
Oni. I'll cleave you, Juniper.
Val. Why hold, hold, ho! what do you mean?
Junip. Let him come, Ingle; stand by,
boy, his alabaster blade cannot fear me.
Fin. Why hear you, sweet signior, let not
there be any contention between my master
and you about me; if you want a page, sir,
I can help you to a proper stripling.
Junip. Canst thou? what parentage,
what ancestry, what genealogy is he?
Fin. A French boy, sir.
Junip. Has he his French linguist? has he?
Fin. I, sir.
Junip. Then transport him; here's a crusado for thee.
Oni. You will not imbezzle my servant
with your benevolence, will you? hold, boy,
there's a portmanteau for thee.
Fin. Lord, sir!
Oni. Do, take it, boy; it's three pounds ten shillings, a portmanteau.
Fin. I thank your lordship.
[Exit Finio.]
Junip. Sirrah Ningle, thou art a traveller,
and I honour thee. I prithee discourse,
cherish thy muse, discourse.
Val. Of what, sir?
Junip. Of what thou wilt; 'sblood, hang sorrow.
Oni. Prithee, Valentine, assoile me one thing.
Val. 'Tis pity to soil you, sir, your new apparel.
Oni. Mass thou say'st true, apparel makes a man Forget himself.
Junip. Begin, find your tongue, Ningle.
Val. Now will I gull these ganders rarely:
Gentlemen, having in my peregrination
through Mesopotamia. ———
Junip. Speak legibly, this game's gone,
without the great mercy of God.
Here's a fine tragedy indeed. There's a Keisar royal.
By god'slid, nor king, nor Keisar shall.
Enter Finio, Pacue, Balthasar, Martino.
Balt. Where, where, Finio, where be they?
Junip. Go to, I'll be with you anon.
Oni. O here's the page, signior Juniper.
Junip. What says monsieur Onion, boy?
Fin. What say you, sir?
Junip. Tread out, boy.
Fin. Take up, you mean, sir.
Junip. Tread out, I say; so, I thank you, is this the boy?
Pac. Aue, monsieur.
Junip. Who gave you that name?
Pac. Give me de name, vat name?
Oni. He thought your name had been
We. Young gentleman, you must do more
than his legs can do for him, bear with him, sir.
Junip. Sirrah, give me instance of your
carriage; you'll serve my turn, will you?
Pac. Vat, turn upon the toe?
Fin. O signior, no.
Junip. Page, will you follow me? I'll give you good exhibition.
Pac. By gar, shall not alone follow you,
but shall lead you too.
Oni. Plaguy boy, he sooths his humour;
these French villains ha' pocky wits.
Junip. Here, disarm me, take my semitary.
Val. O rare! this would be a rare man,
and he had a little travel. Balthasar, Martino,
put off your shoes, and bid him cobble them.
Junip. Friends, friends, but pardon me
for fellows, no more in occupation, no more
in corporation; 'tis so, pardon me; the
case is alter'd; this is law, but I'll stand to nothing.
Pac. Dat so me tink.
Junip. Well, then God save the duke's
majesty; is this any harm now? speak, is
this any harm now?
Oni. No, nor good neither, 'sblood.
Junip. Do you laugh at me? do you
laugh at me? do you laugh at me?
Val. I, sir, we do.
Junip. You do indeed?
Val. I, indeed, sir.
Junip. 'Tis sufficient; page carry my purse; dog me.
[Exit.]
Oni. Gentlemen, leave him not; you see
in what case he is; he is not in adversity,
his purse is full of money; leave him not.
[Exeunt.]