The Genuine Remains in Verse and Prose of Mr. Samuel Butler/Volume 1/Satyr upon Gaming
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SATYR.
WHAT Fool would trouble Fortune more,
When she has been too kind before;
Or tempt her to take back again,
What she had thrown away in vain;
5 By idly vent'ring her good Graces
To be dispos'd of by Alms-Aces;
Or settling it in Trust to Uses,
Out of his Pow'r, on Trays and Deuses:
To put it to the Chance, and try,
10 I'th' Ballot of a Box and Dye,
Whether his Money be his own,
And lose it, if he be o'erthrown;
As if he were betray'd, and set
By his own Stars to every Cheat,
15 Or wretchedly condemn'd by Fate
To throw Dice for his own Estate;
As Mutineers, by fatal Doom,
Do for their Lives upon a Drum?
For what less Influence can produce,
20 So great a Monster as a Chowse;
Or any two-leg'd Thing possess
With such a brutish Sottishness?
Unless those tutelar Stars,
Intrusted by Astrologers
25 To have the Charge of Man, combin'd
To use him in the self-same Kind;
As those, that help'd them to the Trust,
Are wont to deal with others just.[1]
For to become so sadly dull
30 And stupid, as to fine for Gull,
(Not, as in Cities, to b' excus'd,
But to be judg'd fit to be us'd)
That, whoso'ere can draw it in
Is sure inevitably t'win;
35 And, with a curs'd half-witted Fate,
To grow more dully desperate,
The more 'tis made a common Prey,
And cheated foppishly at Play,
Is their Condition, Fate betrays
40 To Folly first, and then destroys.
For what, but Miracles, can serve
So great a Madness to preserve;
As his, that ventures Goods and Chattles
(Where there's no Quarter giv'n) in Battles,
45 And fights with Money-bags as bold,
As Men with Sand-bags did of old:[2]
Puts Lands, and Tenements, and Stocks
Into a paultry Jugler's Box;
And, like an Alderman of Gotham,
50 Embarketh in so vile a Bottom:
Engages blind and senseless Hap
'Gainst High, and Low, and Slur and Knap,
(As Tartars with a Man of Straw
Encounter Lions, Hand to Paw)
55 With those, that never venture more,
Than they had safely 'nsur'd before;
Who, when they knock the Box and shake,
Do, like the Indian Rattle-Snake,
But strive to ruin, and destroy
60 Those that mistake it for fair Play:
That have their Fulhams at command,[3]
Brought up to do their Feats at hand;
That understand their Calls and Knocks,
And how to place themselves i'th' Box;
65 Can tell the Oddses of all Games,
And when to answer to their Names;
And, when he conjures them t' appear,
Like Imps are ready every where;
When to play foul, and when run fair
70 (Out of Design) upon the Square;
And let the greedy Cully win,
Only to draw him further in:
While those, with which he idly plays,
Have no regard to what he says;
75 Although he Jernie and blaspheme,[4]
When they miscarry, Heav'n and them;
And damn his Soul, and swear, and curse,
And crucify his Saviour worse
Than those Jew-Troopers, that threw out,
80 When they were raffling for his Coat
Denounce Revenge, as if they heard,
And rightly understood, and fear'd,
And would take heed another Time,
How to commit so bold a Crime;
85 When the poor Bones are innocent
Of all he did, or said or meant,
And have as little Sense almost,
As he that damns them, when h' has lost:
As if he had rely'd upon
90 Their Judgment, rather than his own;
And that it were their Fault, not his,
That manag'd them himself amiss:
And gave them ill Instructions, how
To run, as he would have them do,
95 And then condemns them sillily
For having no more Wit than he.
When she has been too kind before;
Or tempt her to take back again,
What she had thrown away in vain;
5 By idly vent'ring her good Graces
To be dispos'd of by Alms-Aces;
Or settling it in Trust to Uses,
Out of his Pow'r, on Trays and Deuses:
To put it to the Chance, and try,
10 I'th' Ballot of a Box and Dye,
Whether his Money be his own,
And lose it, if he be o'erthrown;
As if he were betray'd, and set
By his own Stars to every Cheat,
15 Or wretchedly condemn'd by Fate
To throw Dice for his own Estate;
As Mutineers, by fatal Doom,
Do for their Lives upon a Drum?
For what less Influence can produce,
20 So great a Monster as a Chowse;
Or any two-leg'd Thing possess
With such a brutish Sottishness?
Unless those tutelar Stars,
Intrusted by Astrologers
25 To have the Charge of Man, combin'd
To use him in the self-same Kind;
As those, that help'd them to the Trust,
Are wont to deal with others just.[1]
For to become so sadly dull
30 And stupid, as to fine for Gull,
(Not, as in Cities, to b' excus'd,
But to be judg'd fit to be us'd)
That, whoso'ere can draw it in
Is sure inevitably t'win;
35 And, with a curs'd half-witted Fate,
To grow more dully desperate,
The more 'tis made a common Prey,
And cheated foppishly at Play,
Is their Condition, Fate betrays
40 To Folly first, and then destroys.
For what, but Miracles, can serve
So great a Madness to preserve;
As his, that ventures Goods and Chattles
(Where there's no Quarter giv'n) in Battles,
45 And fights with Money-bags as bold,
As Men with Sand-bags did of old:[2]
Puts Lands, and Tenements, and Stocks
Into a paultry Jugler's Box;
And, like an Alderman of Gotham,
50 Embarketh in so vile a Bottom:
Engages blind and senseless Hap
'Gainst High, and Low, and Slur and Knap,
(As Tartars with a Man of Straw
Encounter Lions, Hand to Paw)
55 With those, that never venture more,
Than they had safely 'nsur'd before;
Who, when they knock the Box and shake,
Do, like the Indian Rattle-Snake,
But strive to ruin, and destroy
60 Those that mistake it for fair Play:
That have their Fulhams at command,[3]
Brought up to do their Feats at hand;
That understand their Calls and Knocks,
And how to place themselves i'th' Box;
65 Can tell the Oddses of all Games,
And when to answer to their Names;
And, when he conjures them t' appear,
Like Imps are ready every where;
When to play foul, and when run fair
70 (Out of Design) upon the Square;
And let the greedy Cully win,
Only to draw him further in:
While those, with which he idly plays,
Have no regard to what he says;
75 Although he Jernie and blaspheme,[4]
When they miscarry, Heav'n and them;
And damn his Soul, and swear, and curse,
And crucify his Saviour worse
Than those Jew-Troopers, that threw out,
80 When they were raffling for his Coat
Denounce Revenge, as if they heard,
And rightly understood, and fear'd,
And would take heed another Time,
How to commit so bold a Crime;
85 When the poor Bones are innocent
Of all he did, or said or meant,
And have as little Sense almost,
As he that damns them, when h' has lost:
As if he had rely'd upon
90 Their Judgment, rather than his own;
And that it were their Fault, not his,
That manag'd them himself amiss:
And gave them ill Instructions, how
To run, as he would have them do,
95 And then condemns them sillily
For having no more Wit than he.
- ↑ 28. Are wont to deal with others just.] In the preceding Line the Poet seems a little obscure, but when attended to, we shall find his Meaning, that nothing could produce such a brutish Sottishness, except the Stars themselves had combin'd by their Influence, to make Men as great Fools as their Masters the Astrologers had done.
- ↑ 46. As Men with Sand-bags did of old.] The same and Thought and the same Lines in Hudibras P. III. Canto 2. line 79. upon which, in Dr. Grey's Edition, there is a Note to which the Reader may have recourse.
- ↑ 61. That have their Fulhams at command] Fulhams was, in those Days, a cant Term for false Dice, which ran high or low according as they were loaded.
- ↑ 75. Although they Jernie and blaspheme] Jernie, a French oath Je Revie.