The History of the Adventures of Joseph Andrews and his Friend, Mr. Abraham Abrams/Book I, Chapter II

CHAPTER II.

_Of Mr Joseph Andrews, his birth, parentage, education, and great

endowments; with a word or two concerning ancestors._

Mr Joseph Andrews, the hero of our ensuing history, was esteemed to be

the only son of Gaffar and Gammer Andrews, and brother to the

illustrious Pamela, whose virtue is at present so famous. As to his

ancestors, we have searched with great diligence, but little success;

being unable to trace them farther than his great-grandfather, who, as

an elderly person in the parish remembers to have heard his father say,

was an excellent cudgel-player. Whether he had any ancestors before

this, we must leave to the opinion of our curious reader, finding

nothing of sufficient certainty to rely on. However, we cannot omit

inserting an epitaph which an ingenious friend of ours hath

communicated:--

   Stay, traveller, for underneath this pew

   Lies fast asleep that merry man Andrew:

   When the last day's great sun shall gild the skies,

   Then he shall from his tomb get up and rise.

   Be merry while thou canst: for surely thou

   Shalt shortly be as sad as he is now.

The words are almost out of the stone with antiquity. But it is needless

to observe that Andrew here is writ without an _s_, and is, besides, a

Christian name. My friend, moreover, conjectures this to have been the

founder of that sect of laughing philosophers since called

Merry-andrews.

To waive, therefore, a circumstance which, though mentioned in

conformity to the exact rules of biography, is not greatly material, I

proceed to things of more consequence. Indeed, it is sufficiently

certain that he had as many ancestors as the best man living, and,

perhaps, if we look five or six hundred years backwards, might be

related to some persons of very great figure at present, whose ancestors

within half the last century are buried in as great obscurity. But

suppose, for argument's sake, we should admit that he had no ancestors

at all, but had sprung up, according to the modern phrase, out of a

dunghill, as the Athenians pretended they themselves did from the earth,

would not this autokopros[A] have been justly entitled to all the

praise arising from his own virtues? Would it not be hard that a man who

hath no ancestors should therefore be rendered incapable of acquiring

honour; when we see so many who have no virtues enjoying the honour of

their forefathers? At ten years old (by which time his education was

advanced to writing and reading) he was bound an apprentice, according

to the statute, to Sir Thomas Booby, an uncle of Mr Booby's by the

father's side. Sir Thomas having then an estate in his own hands, the

young Andrews was at first employed in what in the country they call

keeping birds. His office was to perform the part the ancients assigned

to the god Priapus, which deity the moderns call by the name of Jack o'

Lent; but his voice being so extremely musical, that it rather allured

the birds than terrified them, he was soon transplanted from the fields

into the dog-kennel, where he was placed under the huntsman, and made

what the sportsmen term whipper-in. For this place likewise the

sweetness of his voice disqualified him; the dogs preferring the melody

of his chiding to all the alluring notes of the huntsman, who soon

became so incensed at it, that he desired Sir Thomas to provide

otherwise for him, and constantly laid every fault the dogs were at to

the account of the poor boy, who was now transplanted to the stable.

Here he soon gave proofs of strength and agility beyond his years, and

constantly rode the most spirited and vicious horses to water, with an

intrepidity which surprized every one. While he was in this station, he

rode several races for Sir Thomas, and this with such expertness and

success, that the neighbouring gentlemen frequently solicited the knight

to permit little Joey (for so he was called) to ride their matches. The

best gamesters, before they laid their money, always inquired which

horse little Joey was to ride; and the bets were rather proportioned by

the rider than by the horse himself; especially after he had scornfully

refused a considerable bribe to play booty on such an occasion. This

extremely raised his character, and so pleased the Lady Booby, that she

desired to have him (being now seventeen years of age) for her

own footboy.

[A] In English, sprung from a dunghill.

Joey was now preferred from the stable to attend on his lady, to go on

her errands, stand behind her chair, wait at her tea-table, and carry

her prayer-book to church; at which place his voice gave him an

opportunity of distinguishing himself by singing psalms: he behaved

likewise in every other respect so well at Divine service, that it

recommended him to the notice of Mr Abraham Adams, the curate, who took

an opportunity one day, as he was drinking a cup of ale in Sir Thomas's

kitchen, to ask the young man several questions concerning religion;

with his answers to which he was wonderfully pleased.