The King of the Dark Chamber/Act 8
VIII
The Dark Room. The King and Sudarshana
King
Do not be afraid—you have no cause for fear. The fire will not reach this room.
Sudarshana
I have no fear—but oh, shame has accompanied me like a raging fire. My face, my eyes, my heart, every part of my body is being scorched and burnt by its flames.
King
It will be some time before you get over this burning.
Sudarshana
This fire will never cease—will never cease!
King
Do not be despondent, Queen!
Sudarshana
O King, I shall not hide anything from you. . . . I have another's garland round my neck.
King
That garland, too, is mine—how else could he get it? He stole it from my room.
Sudarshana
But it is his gift to me: yet I could not fling this garland away! When the fire came roaring on all sides of me, I thought of throwing this garland into the fire. But no, I could not. My mind whispered, "Let that garland be on you in your death." . . . What fire is this, O King, into which I, who had come out to see you, leaped like a moth that cannot resist the flame? What a pain is this, oh, what agony! The fire keeps burning as fiercely as ever, but I go on living within its flames!
King
But you have seen me at last—your desire has been fulfilled.
Sudarshana
But did I seek to see you in the midst of this fearful doom? I know not what I saw, but my heart is still beating fast with fear.
King
What did you see?
Sudarshana
Terrible,—oh, it was terrible! I am afraid even to think of it again. Black, black—oh, thou art black like the everlasting night! I only looked on thee for one dreadful instant. The blaze of the fire fell on your features—you looked like the awful night when a comet swings fearfully into our ken—oh, then I closed my eyes—I could not look on you any more. Black as the threatening storm-cloud, black as the shoreless sea with the spectral red tint of twilight on its tumultuous waves!
King
Have I not told you before that one cannot bear my sight unless one is already prepared for me? One would want to run away from me to the ends of the earth. Have I not seen this times without number? That is why I wanted to reveal myself to you slowly and gradually, not all too sudden.
Sudarshana
But sin came and destroyed all your hopes—the very possibility of a union with you has now become unthinkable to me.
King
It will be possible in time, my Queen. The utter and bleak blackness that has to-day shaken you to your soul with fear will one day be your solace and salvation. What else can my love exist for?
Sudarshana
It cannot be, it is not possible. What will your love only do? My love has now turned away from you. Beauty has cast its spell on me—this frenzy, this intoxication will never leave me—it has dazzled and fired my eyes, it has thrown its golden glamour over my very dreams! I have told you all now—punish me as you like.
King
The punishment has already begun.
Sudarshana
But if you do not cast me off. I will leave you—
King
You have the utmost liberty to do as you like.
Sudarshana
I cannot bear your presence! My heart is angry at you. Why did you—but what have you done to me? . . . Why are you like this? Why did they tell me you were fair and handsome? Thou art black, black as night—I shall never, I can never, like you. I have seen what I love—it is soft as cream, delicate as the shirisha flower, beautiful as a butterfly.
King
It is false as a mirage, empty as a bubble.
Sudarshana
Let it be—but I cannot stand near you—I simply cannot! I must fly away from here. Union with you, it cannot be possible! It cannot be anything but a false union—my mind must inevitably turn away from you.
King
Will you not even try a little?
Sudarshana
I have been trying since yesterday—but the more I try, the more rebellious does my heart become. If I stay with you I shall constantly be pursued and hounded by the thought that I am impure, that I am false and faithless.
King
Well then, you can go as far from me as you like.
Sudarshana
I cannot fly away from you—just because you do not prevent my going. Why do you not hold me back, hold me by the hair, saying, "You shall not go"? Why do you not strike me? Oh, punish me, strike me, beat me with violent hands! But your unresisting silence makes me wild—oh, I cannot bear it!
King
How do you think that I am really silent? How do you know that I am not trying to keep you back?
Sudarshana
Oh, no, no!—I cannot hear this—tell me aloud, command me with the voice of thunder, compel me with words that will drown everything else in my ears—do not let me off so easily, so mildly!
King
I shall leave you free, but why should I let you break away from me?
Sudarshana
You will not let me? Well then, I must go!
King
Go then!
Sudarshana
Then I am not to blame at all. You could have held me back by force, but you did not! You have not hindered me—and now I shall go away. Command your sentinels to prevent my going.
King
No one will stand in your way. You can go as free as the broken storm-cloud driven by the tempest.
Sudarshana
Enter Surangama, who sings
Surangama
What will of thine is this that sends me afar! Again shall I come back at thy feet from all my wanderings.
It is thy love that feigns this neglect—thy caressing hands are pushing me away—to draw me back to thy arms again! O my King, what is this game that thou art playing throughout thy kingdom?
Sudarshana (re-entering)
King, O King!
Surangama
He has gone away.
Sudarshana
Gone away? Well then, . . . then he has cast me off for good! I have come back, but he could not wait a single instant for me! Very well, then, I am now perfectly free. Surangama, did he ask you to keep me back?
Surangama
No, he said nothing.
Sudarshana
Why should he say anything? Why should he care for me? . . . I am then free, perfectly free. But, Surangama, I wanted to ask one thing of the King, but could not utter it in his presence. Tell me if he has punished the prisoners with death.
Surangama
Death? My King never punishes with death.
Sudarshana
What has he done to them, then?
Surangama
He has set them at liberty. Kanchi has acknowledged his defeat and gone back to his kingdom.
Sudarshana
Ah, what a relief!
Surangama
My Queen, I have one prayer to make to you.
Sudarshana
You will not have to utter your prayer in words, Surangama. Whatever jewellery and ornaments the King gave me, I leave to you—I am not worthy to wear them now.
Surangama
No, I do not want them, my Queen. My master has never given me any ornaments to wear—my unadorned plainness is good enough for me. He has not given me anything of which I can boast before people.
Sudarshana
What do you want of me then?
Surangama
I too shall go with you, my Queen.
Sudarshana
Consider what you are saying; you are wanting to leave your master. What a prayer for you to make!
Surangama
I shall not go far from him—when you are going out unguarded he will be with you, close by your side.
Sudarshana
You are talking nonsense, my child. I wanted to take Rohini with me, but she would not come. What gives you courage enough to wish to come with me?
Surangama
I have got neither courage nor strength. But I shall go—courage will come of itself, and strength too will come.
Sudarshana
No, I cannot take you with me; your presence will constantly remind me of my shame; I shall not be able to endure that.
Surangama
O my Queen, I have made all your good and all your evil my own as well; will you treat me as a stranger still? I must go with you.