The Pearl/Volume 4/NURSERY RHYMES.

From Wikisource
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The Pearl
Printed for the Society of Vice
Nursery Rhymes.

A parson who lived near Cremorne
Looked down on all women with scorn;
E'en a boy's white fat bum;
Could not make him come;
But an old man's piles gave him the horn.

A cheerful old party of Lucknow,
Remarked, "I should like a fuck now!"
So he had one and spent,
And said, "I'm content!
By no means am I so cunt-struck now."

There was a young man of Peru,
Who lived upon clap juice and spew;
When these palled to his taste,
He tried some turd paste,
And said that was very good too.

There is a new Baron of Wokingham;
The girls say he don't care for poking 'em.
Preferring "Minette,"
What is pleasant, but ye,
There is one disadvantage, his choking 'em.

There was an Archbishop of Rheims,
Who played with himself in his dreams;
On his nightshirt in front,
He painted a cunt,
Which made his spend gush forth in streams.

There was a young man of Newminster Court.
Bugger'd a pig, but his prick was too snort;
Said the hog, "It's not nice;
But pray take my advice;
Make tracks, or by the police you'll be caught."

There was a young man of Cashmere.
Who purchased a fine Bayadere!
He fucked all her toes.
Her mouth, eyes, and her nose,
And eventually poxed her left ear.

There was a young party of Bicester,
Who wanted to bugger his sister;
But not liking dirt.
He bought him a squirt,
And cleaned out her arse with a clyster.

There was a young man of King's Cross,
Who amused himself frigging a horse.
Then licking the spend
Which still dripped from the end,
Said, "It tastes just like anchovy sauce."

A president called Gambetta.
Once used an imperfect French Letter;
This was not the worst,
With disease he got cursed.
And he took a long time to get better.

There was a young girl from Vistula,
To whom a friend said, "Jef has kissed you, la!"
Said she, "Yes, by God!
But my arse he can't sod,
Because I am troubled with Fistula."

A new patent shoe-horn, for the insertions of big pricks into tight bum-holes, is reported to have been invented by a lady member of the Comedie Francaise, who issaid to place the half skin of a peach, turned inside out, upon the tip of a lover's penis, before he is allowed to enculer his chere amie, who prefers bum-fucking to the old orthodox plan of coition.

"I see you have your everlasting stocking on," said her fond papa, at Southend to a Whitechapel young lady of twelve, who was wading bare-legged on the beach.

"I don't know about that, father, for my arse is covered with the same stuff, and that's got a hole in it."