Theatrical speaker/The Old Man, his Son, and Ass

the old man, his son and ass.

A country fellow and his son, they tell
In modern fables, had an ass to sell:
For this intent they turn'd it out to play,
And fed so well that by the destin'd day,
They brought the creature into sleek repair,
And drove it gently to a neighb'ring fair.

As they were jogging on, a rural class
Was heard to say, "Look, look there at that ass
And those two blockheads trudging on each side
That have not either of 'em sense to ride:
Asses all three and thus the country folks
On man and boy began to cut their jokes.

Th' old fellow minded nothing that they said,
But every word stuck in the young one's head;
And they began their comment there upon
"Ne'er heed 'em lad", "Nay, father, do get on.",
"Not I, indeed." "Why then, let me, pray,"
"Well do: and see what prating tongues will say

The boy was mounted; and they had not got
Much further on, before another knot,
Just as the ass passing by, pad, pad,
Cried, "O! that lazy looby of a lad,
How unconcernedly the gaping brute
Lets the poor aged fellow walk a foot."

Down came the son, on hearing this account,
And begg'd and pray'd, and made his father mount:
Till a third party on a farther stretch,
"See! see!" exclaim'd, that old hard-hearted wretch!
How like a justice there he sits, or squire,
While the poor lad keepswadin through the mire"

"Stop," cried the lad, still deeper vex'd in mind
"Stop father; stop let me get on behind."
This done, thc thought they ccrtainly should please,
Escape reproaches, and be both at case,
For having tried each practicable way,
What could be lcft for jokers now to say?

Still disappointed by succeeding tone.
"Hark ye, you fellow "Is that ass your own?
Get off, for shame, or one of you at least;
You both deserve to carry the poor beast;
Ready to drop down upon the road,
With such a hugc unconscionablc load."

On this they both dismountcd; and, somc say
Contriv'd to carry, the remaining way
The ass between em; prints are seen, they add,
The ass supported by the man and lad,
Others omit that fancy in the print,
As ovcrstraining an ingcnious hint.

Thc copy that wc follow, says, the man
Rubb'd down his ass, and took to his first plan;
Walk'd to the fair and sold him, got his price,
And gave his son this pertinent advicc
"Let talkers talk; stick thou to what is best ;
To think of pleasing all, is all a jcst."