Watchman (1802)/The watchman

by Charles Dibdin

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THE WATCHMAN.

from mr.dibdin's "castles in the air"

A Watchman I am, and I know all the round,
The house-keepers the strays, & the lodgers,
Where low devils, & rich den’s, & high tips may be found,
⁠Odd dickies, queer kids, & rum codgers,

⁠⁠Of money, and of property,
⁠⁠⁠I'm he that takes care,
⁠⁠and cries, when I see rogues go by,
⁠⁠⁠Hey! what are you doing there!

"Only, a little business in that house; you understand me."——— "Understand you! well I believe you are an honest man; do you hear, bring ane an odd silver candlestick or so by and by."

Then to my box I creep,
And there shall fast asleep———
What’s that?———St Paul’s strikes one;
Thus after all the mischief’s done,
⁠I goes and gives them warning,
And loudly bawls,
As strikes St Paul’s,
⁠past one O’clock, and a cloudy morning.

Then, round as the hour I merrily cries,
⁠Another fine mess I discover
For a curious rope-ladder I straightway espies,
⁠And miss Forward expecting her lover.
⁠⁠Then to each others arms they fly———
⁠⁠⁠“ My life, my soul, ah! ah!”———
⁠⁠Fine work, Miss Hot-upon’t,” cries I,
⁠⁠⁠I'll knock up your Papa.”

"No, you won't fare———“Yes, shall worthy old soul, to be treated in this manner.”———“Here, take this.”——— Oh! you villain, want to bribe an honest watchman, and with such a trifle too.-” Well, here's more.” More! you seem to be a spirited lad; now do you make her a good husband, I am glad you have tricked the old hunks-: I wish you safe to Gretna Green.”

Then to my box I creep,
And there falls fast asleep———
What's that?——— St Paul’s strike two,
The lovers off, what does I do,

⁠But gives the Father warning,
And loudly bawls,
As strikes St. Paul’s,
⁠Past two o’clock, and a cloudy morning.

Then, towards the square from my box as I look,
⁠I hear such a ranting and tearing;
Tis Pharaoh’s whole host & the pidgeons & rooks
⁠Are laughing, and Tinging, and swearing.

Then such a hubbub, such a din
⁠How they blaspheme and curse
That thief has stolen my diamond pin;
⁠Watch, watch, I’ve lost my purse!

“Watch, here, I charge you” — "And I charge you: damme, charge for charge." — "Indeed it is a marvellous thing, that honest people can’t pase the streets, without, being, robbed; which is the thief that stole the gentleman's purse!”—That's him.” — “What, Sam Snatch!——give me the purse: you are mistaken in your man, so go home: peaceably, and don’t oblige, me to-take you to the Watch-house.”

Then to my box I creep,
And there fall fast asleep—
What’s that?— St. Paul’s strikes three,
Thus from my roguery I gets free,
⁠By giving people warning',
And loudly bawls,
As strikes St. Paul’s
⁠Past three o'clock, and a cloudy morning.