Wikisource:WikiProject Film/Intertitles from GeoCities/Suds

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Suds [American release version:]

1 Oh, this is no tale of gay romance,

 Of storm-swept shores, adventure-girt

Of bold, heroic circumstance, Of daring deeds, of luck, of chance,

 Of purple pain, of hectic hurt ---

2 No! no!

NO! NO!

3 No hero here with passion pants --

 This is the tale of a shirt!

4 What ho!

Let's go!

5 LONDON.

6 Spring had come to Effingham street

--- a spring without the song

of birds or the scent of blossoms.

7 And in this street

 there stood a -

8 Lavender, who still thinks

   he is a horse ---

9 --- trying to keep up a brave front with a laundry wagon in back.

10 Benjamin Pillsbury Jones,

 who is back of Lavender

in everything he does --

11 "Where is Amanda?"

12 "Amanda! Amanda!"

13 "AMANDA!"

14 "'Ere I be, yer ladyship!"

15 "Blimy, you 'nd Lavender

'ave a 'ell of a time,
  don't you, Sudsie?"

16 "When 'Orace Greensmith, hesquire,

  calls fer 'is shirt -- --
and me, - - then I laughs last."

17 "Lor! Imagine a swell

  takin' 'er away!"

18 "A gent she don't even know,

    I'm a thinkin'!"

19 "Garn, shirt-tail wringers!"

20 "Cheer-oh, Lavender, old top!

'Ere's one bloomin' barsket
   you won't 'ave to lug!"

21 "On the 'appy day I becomes

 the blushink bride of

'Orace Greensmith, hesquire,

  you delivers yer last
      corset-cover!"

22 "Sell 'im to the glue fact'ry!

  He ain't no good no more!"

23 "Petit cochonne!"


24 "Enfant de chien!"

25 "Vermine!"

26 "I - never - did!"

27 "Petite imbecile! Wash-

  you these clothes
if it take all night!"

28 "And down the long and silent street,

The dawn, with silver-sandalled feet,
   Crept like a frightened girl."

29 In the night's dead stillness,

 while all London sleeps - -

30 --- slight noises seem like thunder - sounds, and each shadow some hideous monster hides!

31 He had left the shirt

 eight months and six-

teen days ago -- and had never come back for it.

32 Eight months and sixteen

days ago -- but it seemed

like yesterday to her!

33 And so the spring morning

swung into its drab routine ---

34 "Strike me pink! If

 she ain't washed

the bloomin' shirt again!"

35 "She washes it twice

a week - - to keep
'is memory clean!"

36 "Please - Oh, please don't!"

37 "'Orace is comin', so

  I keeps it ready."

38 "Garn, he ain't never

comin' - he's a myth!"

39 "A myth, is 'e? I'll tell you

   somethink you don't
know -- 'E's Sir 'Orace ---
'e belongs to the nobility
--- the same as I does ---"

40 "If yer such a fine lady,

wot are yuh doin' 'ere?"

41 "Me father wanted me

 to grow up without
any rank -- or pearls
-- or carriages ---"

42 "-- -- so as I should be

loved for meself alone!"

43 "It wuz a wintry night

-- bitter cold it wuz
outside the castle ---"

44 "The arch-dook, me father,

  'ad me locked in
     the tower."

45 "--- And 'ere you must

remain, daughter, till
yer love for Sir 'Orace
is cold 'nd dead!"

46 "Not that, Father, in

  'eaven's nime,
     not that!"

47 "Lock and bar them doors!"

48 "Sir 'Orace wuz a 'andsome

   figger as he dashed
bravely forth outer the night."

49 "Duchess!"

50 "Sir 'Orace, at last!"

51 "Sir 'Orace, me 'ero,

me own true knight!"

52 "Nothink shall separate us

now, sweet'eart -- nothink!"

53 "The arch-dook's rage wuz

  turrible to be'old!"

54 "What ho, poltroon!

 What do you 'ere?"

55 "I'm 'ere becuz I loves 'er!"

56 "You, Sir 'Orace, like all

  the rest, loves 'er
for 'er jools 'nd title!"

57 "Nay!...Why, I'd lay down

    me life for 'er!"

58 "I'd even give 'er the

 shirt off me back!"

59 "I with'old me consent!

  Leave this 'ouse!"

60 "I refuse!"


61 "It is for the best,

darlink - Good-bye!
    Good-bye!"

62 "You, too, daughter, must go

  out into the world and
be loved for yerself alone!"

63 "Gimme them there jools!"

64 "And with the token of 'is

   great love wrapped
about me slight but
shiverink form, I faced
the cru-el world -- alone!"

65 "And this 'ere is

 the very shirt!"

66 Imagination is God's greatest gift

 .... Even a hungry flea

on a toy dog may be happy

- - with imagination!

67 "You've got some stupid fool

'ere who sent me this --
But I want to thank you,
because my wife saw it
and left me this morning!"

68 "Oh, monsieur, I am

 so very sorry --"

69 "Idiot! You will loose me

   all my customer!"

70 "Mon Dieu, donnez-moi la force

   pour écraser ce ver!"

[dissolves to:]

"My Lord, give me the strength

    to crush this worm!"

71 "HELP! HELP!"

72 The day was too long for

poor, tired, old Lavender -

73 "It is the finish - -

  I sell 'im for glue!"

74 The glue factory ---

the inglorious end of

old horses after years of faithful service --

75 "You wouldn't -- if you knew

  Lavender like I does!"

76 So they carted Lavender

away -- and none so poor

to do him reverence!

77 "They 'ave taken Lavender

 to the glue fact-ry."

78 "Wot for?"

79 "To be kilt! 'E's old

and can't work no more."

80 "I'll give yuh money

- - all I've got!"

81 Back into the sunshine of life,

  but not for long - -

for when it rains in London - - Blimy, 'Ow it does pour!

82 Bright and early

Sunday morning - -

Boudoir Secrets of

 a Duchess - -

83 Lady Burke-Cavendish -

in Effingham street on

an errand of mercy --

84 "Do you mean to say

you have no place
  to take him?"

85 "No, I 'aven't, yer ladyship.

 'E spent the night with me."

86 "I say, have you observed

 the shabby individual
     on my right?"

87 "Raw-ther! .... But

ignore him, Reggie
- - he's in trade."

88 "Don't be so cocky! Life,

 my young friends,
is a long road with
many hills ---- and the
journey's end uncertain!"

89 "If you wish, I will

send him out to
my country place,
Sunnyside Downs."

90 Next day was Whitsun Monday -- the great spring holiday --

91 The laundry was to

close at noon ---

92 "The compliments of Lady

 Burke-Cavendish to
Miss Amanda Afflick!"

93 "Her ladyship desires your

  presence without!"

94 "I have stopped to tell you

that your friend Lavender
  is well and happy."

95 "-- -- -- and with your

permission he will spend
the rest of his days 
there -- -- in clover!"

96 "It was me aunt, the countess,

  with a message from me
  father, the arch-dook!"

97 "Why didn't yuh get 'er to

  tike yuh to 'Ampstead
  for the 'oliday?"

98 "Sir 'Orace is a-comin'

     for me!"

99 "'Orace!"

100 "Please don't give me away,

 Mr. Greensmith! Let me
'old yer 'and a minute!"

101 "Oh, it's like one from

     the grave!"

102 "Don't you dare let on

you don't know me - -
not till the girls go!"

103 "See you at 'Ampstead, Sudsie

-- -- you and Sir 'Orace!"

104 "What's all this nonsense?

   I don't know you!"

105 "My, but you're 'andsome,

 Mr. 'Orace -- -- --"

106 "- - - but I s'pose

 you knows that!"

107 "Come now, step lively

-- -- get me me shirt!"

108 "I washed it twice a week

to 'ave it ready for you."

109 "What does all this mean?

 And what's this about
   'Ampstead, eh?"

110 "The girls thinks as 'ow

 you're goin' to take
 me to 'Ampstead ---"

111 "They thinks as 'ow you're

   in love with me!"

112 "I'll take you to 'Ampstead!"

113 "On second thoughts,

p'raps we'd better
go to Epping Forest."

114 "Epping? ... Oh, the girls

 wouldn't see us there."

115 "That's it, y'see - -

we'd miss the crowd
-- it'd be much nicer --"

116 It came to her swiftly,

poignantly --- that he

would be ashamed of her!

117 "I can't go, reely,

Mr. Greensmith --"

118 "My folks wouldn't let me --"

119 "Besides, I wuz

 only jokin'."

120 "Say you ain't angry --"

121 "If - if I only 'ad

  somethink to
remember you by!"

122 "You're a game little kid!"

123 "Who would love me?"

124 "Who could?"

125 "Nobody never won't!"

126 As Lavender would say, "The roads of life are sometimes bumpy, but you never know what awaits you just around the corner."

127 "How would you like to

stay here and serve us?"

128 "'Orace! what are you

    doink here?"

129 "Workink. What are

 you doink 'ere?"

130 "I'm workink 'ere too.

'Ave a dish o' tea?"

131 "O, 'Orace, 'ow you do

     carry on!"

THE END

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

[Foreign release version (includes reconstructed titles):]

1 No! no!

NO! NO!

2 No hero here with passion pants --

 This is the tale of a shirt!

3 What ho!

Let's go!

4 LONDON.

5 Spring had come to Effingham street

--- a spring without the song

of birds or the scent of blossoms.

6 And in this street

 there stood a -

7 Lavender, who still thinks

   he is a horse ---

8

  - trying to 

keep up a brave front with a laundry wagon

   behind him.

9 "Where is Amanda?"

10 "Amanda! Amanda!"

11 "AMANDA!"

12 "'Ere I be, yer ladyship!"

13 "Blimy, you 'nd Lavender

'ave a 'ell of a time,
  don't you, Sudsie?"

14 "Wait till 'Orace Greensmith

hesquire, calls fer his 
shirt - and me - you'll
soon see who laughs last!"

15 "A bloke what she's never

so much as set eyes on!"

16 "Garn, yer old mangle-worms!"

17 "Cheerio, Lavender, old bird.

  Any'ow, 'ere's one
blinkin' barsket as you 
  won't 'ave to lug!"

18 "On the 'appy day I becomes

 the blushink bride of

'Orace Greensmith, hesquire,

  you delivers yer last
      corset-cover!"

19 "Sell 'im to the glue fact'ry!

  He ain't no good no more!"

20 "Petite peste!"


21 "Espéce de idiote!"

22 "Vermine!"

23 "Sich language!"

24 "Petite imbécile!

 Wash you zese
clothes if it take 
you all ze night!"

25 "And down the long and silent street,

The dawn, with silver-sandalled feet,
   Crept like a frightened girl."

26 In the night's dead stillness,

 while all London sleeps - -

27 --- slight noises seem like thunder - sounds, and each shadow some hideous monster hides!

28 He had left the shirt

 eight months and six-

teen days ago -- and had never come back for it.

29 Eight months and sixteen

days ago -- but it seemed

like yesterday to her!

30

And so the spring morning

swung into its drab routine -

31 "Strike me pink! If she

ain't washed that there
 bloomin' shirt again!"

32 "She washes it twice a

 week - for to keep 
'is memory clean-like!"

33 "Please - Oh, please don't!"

34 "'Orace is comin', so

  I keeps it ready."

35 "Garn, he ain't never comin' -

   he's a fairy-taile!"

36 "Fairy-taile, is 'e? I'll tell

 you somethink you don't
 know - 'E's Sir 'Orace -
'e belongs to the nobility -
       same as me!"

37 "If you're such a fine

 lady, wot are you 
 a'doin' of 'ere?"

38 "Me father wanted me for

 to grow up without
no rank - nor pearls -
   nor carridges!"

39

"- so as I should be
loved for myself alone!"

40 "It wuz a wintry night

- bitter cold it wuz
outside the castle -"

41 "The arch-dook, me father,

  'ad me locked in
     the tower."

42 "- And 'ere you remain,

daughter, says 'e, till
yer love for Sir 'Orace
  is cold 'nd dead!"

43 "Not that, Father, in

  'eaven's nime,
     not that!"

44

"Sir 'Orace wuz an 
  'andsome figger 
as he dashed bravely 
forth inter the night."

45 "Duchess!"

46 "Sir 'Orace, at last!"

47 "Sir 'Orace, me 'ero,

me own true knight!"

48 "Nothink shall separate us

now, sweet'eart -- nothink!"

49 "The arch-dook's rage wuz

 turrible for to be'old!"

50 "Nay!...Why, I'd lay down

    me life for 'er!"

51 "I'd even give 'er the

 shirt off me back!"

52 "I withhold me consent!

  Leave this 'ouse!"

53 "You too, daughter, must go

 out into the cold, grey
 world and be loved for
    yerself alone!"

54 "Gimme them there jools!"

55 "And with the token of 'is

   great love wrapped
about me slight but
shiverink form, I faced
the cru-el world -- alone!"

56 "And this 'ere is

 the very shirt!"

57 Imagination is God's greatest gift

 ... Even a hungry flea
on a toy dog may be happy
  - with imagination!

58 "You've got some stupid fool

'ere who sent me this -
But I want to thank you,
because my wife saw it
and left me this morning!"

59 "Oh, monsieur, I am

 so very sorry -"

60 "Idiote! You lose me

all ze customairs!"

61 "Bon Dieu, Si je pouvais

écraser cette vermine!"

62 "HELP! HELP!"

63 The day was too long for

poor, tired, old Lavender -

64 "It is finish - I sell 'im

     for ze glue!"

65

 The glue factory -
the inglorious end of

old horses after years

of faithful service -

66 "You wouldn't -- if you

   knowed Lavender 
     like I does!"

67 So they carted Lavender

away - and none so poor
 to do him reverence!

68 "They 'ave taken Lavender

 to the glue fact-ry."

69 "For what?"

70 "To be killed! 'E's old

and can't work no more."

71 "I'll give yer money -

every penny I've got!"

72 Back into the sunshine

of life, but not for 

long - for when it rains in London - Lord love a duck, 'ow it does rain!

73 Bright and early

Sunday morning - 

Boudoir Secrets of

 a Duchess - 

74 Lady Burke-Cavendish -

in Effingham street on

an errand of mercy --

75 "Do you mean to say

you have no place
  to take him?"

76 "No, I 'aven't, yer ladyship.

 'E spent the night with me."

77 "I say, have you observed

 the shabby individual
     on my right?"

78 "Raw-ther! .... But

ignore him, Reggie
- - he's in trade."

79 "Don't be so cocky! Life,

 my young friends,
is a long road with
many hills ---- and the
journey's end uncertain!"

80 "If you wish, I will

send him out to
my country place,
Sunnyside Downs."

81 Next day was Bank Holiday!

82 Mme. Didier had managed to

persuade her laundresses 
 to work till noon - -

83 "The compliments of Lady

 Burke-Cavendish to
Miss Amanda Afflick!"

84 "Her ladyship desires to

have a word with you!"

85 "I have stopped to tell you

that your friend Lavender
  is well and happy."

86 "- and with your permission

 he will spend the rest
  of his days there -
      in clover!"

87 "It was me aunt, the Countess,

  with a message from me
  father, the Arch-dook!"

88 "Why didn't you get her to

  tyke you to the 'Eath
     for the day?"

89 "Sir 'Orace is a-comin'

     for me!"

90 "'Orace!"

91 "Please don't give me away,

 Mr. Greensmith! Let me
'old yer 'and a minute!"

92 "Oh, it's like one from

     the grave!"

93 "Don't you dare let on

you don't know me - -
not till the girls go!"

94 "See you at 'Ampstead, Sudsie

-- -- you and Sir 'Orace!"

95 "What's all this nonsense?

   I don't know you!"

96 "My, but you're 'andsome,

 Mr. 'Orace -- -- --"

97 "- - - but I s'pose

 you knows that!"

98 "Come now, step lively

-- -- get me me shirt!"

99 "I washed it twice a week

to 'ave it ready for you."

100 "What does all this mean?

 And what's this about
   'Ampstead, eh?"

101 "The girls thinks as 'ow

 you're goin' to take
 me to 'Ampstead ---"

102 "They thinks as 'ow you're

   in love with me!"

103 "I'll take you to 'Ampstead!"

104 "On second thoughts,

p'raps we'd better
go to Epping Forest."

105 "Epping? ... Oh, the girls

 wouldn't see us there."

106 "That's it, y'see - -

we'd miss the crowd
-- it'd be much nicer --"

107 It came to her swiftly,

poignantly --- that he

would be ashamed of her!

108 "I can't go, reely,

Mr. Greensmith --"

109 "My folks wouldn't let me --"

110 "Besides, I wuz

 only jokin'."

111 "Say you ain't angry --"

112 "If - if I only 'ad

  somethink to
remember you by!"

113 "You're a game little kid!"

114 "Who would love me?"

115 "Who could?"

116 "Nobody never won't!"

117 As Lavender would say: "The hills of life are hard -- but coasting down the

  other side is easy."

118 What ho! -- a merry

  little wasp!

119 "That's gratitude!"

THE END


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