Songs and Lyrics (Lehrer)/N Apostrophe T

by Thomas Andrew Lehrer

N APOSTROPHE T (from "The Electric Company")

words and music by Tom Lehrer

SCENE: Outside the cave of a very grouchy hermit.

CAST: A hermit (H) and a very sweet child (C).

C:	Isn't it a lovely day?
H:	⁠ No, it isn't!
C:	Could you come outside and play?
H:	⁠ No, I couldn't!
C:	Did you ever take a hike?
H:	⁠ No, I didn't!
C:	How'd you like to ride my bike?
H:	⁠ Frankly, I wouldn't!
C:	Isn't, couldn't, didn't, wouldn't -- Is that all you can say?
H:	Isn't, couldn't, didn't, wouldn't --- Yes, now go away! The sweetest sound to me, It stands for "not," I like it a lot, It's spelled N apostrophe T.
C:	Have you ever tried to smile?
H:	⁠ No, I haven't!
C:	Won't you try it for a while?
H:	⁠ No, I won't!
C:	Are there games to play in there?
H:	⁠ No, there aren't!
C:	Then why d'you like to stay in there?
H:	⁠ Frankly, I don't!
C:	Haven't, won't, aren't, don't -- Is that all you can say?
H:	Haven't, won't, aren't, don't --- And I said "Go away!" Grouches all agree, We get a glow From saying "NO!" With N apostrophe T.
C:	Do you talk to anyone?
H:	⁠ (wistfully) No, I don't.
C:	⁠ Come on out and have some fun.
H:	⁠ (hesitantly) No, I couldn't.
C:	Can't you even tell me why?
H:	⁠ (apologetically) No, I can't.
C:	Will it kill you just to try?
H:	⁠ (wanting to) Well ...... I shouldn't.
C:	Don't, couldn't, can't, shouldn't -- Now try it once my way! Do!
H:	⁠ Do!
C:	Could!
H:	⁠ Could!
C:	Can!
H:	⁠ Can!
C:	Should!
H:	⁠ Should! Hey, that feels okay!
C:	So come along with me --
H:	I'll give it a try And say goodbye To N apostrophe --
C:	N apostrophe --
Both:	N apostrophe T!