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Songs and Lyrics (Lehrer)/N Apostrophe T

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3415576Songs and Lyrics — N Apostrophe TThomas Andrew Lehrer

N APOSTROPHE T (from "The Electric Company")

words and music by Tom Lehrer

SCENE: Outside the cave of a very grouchy hermit.

CAST: A hermit (H) and a very sweet child (C).

C: Isn't it a lovely day?
H: No, it isn't!
C: Could you come outside and play?
H: No, I couldn't!
C: Did you ever take a hike?
H: No, I didn't!
C: How'd you like to ride my bike?
H: Frankly, I wouldn't!
C: Isn't, couldn't, didn't, wouldn't -- Is that all you can say?
H:

Isn't, couldn't, didn't, wouldn't --- Yes, now go away!
The sweetest sound to me,
It stands for "not,"
I like it a lot,
It's spelled N apostrophe T.

C: Have you ever tried to smile?
H: No, I haven't!
C: Won't you try it for a while?
H: No, I won't!
C: Are there games to play in there?
H: No, there aren't!
C: Then why d'you like to stay in there?
H: Frankly, I don't!
C: Haven't, won't, aren't, don't -- Is that all you can say?
H:

Haven't, won't, aren't, don't --- And I said "Go away!"
Grouches all agree,
We get a glow
From saying "NO!"
With N apostrophe T.

C: Do you talk to anyone?
H: (wistfully) No, I don't.
C: Come on out and have some fun.
H: (hesitantly) No, I couldn't.
C: Can't you even tell me why?
H: (apologetically) No, I can't.
C: Will it kill you just to try?
H: (wanting to) Well ...... I shouldn't.
C: Don't, couldn't, can't, shouldn't -- Now try it once my way!

Do!

H: Do!
C: Could!
H: Could!
C: Can!
H: Can!
C: Should!
H: Should! Hey, that feels okay!
C: So come along with me --
H:

I'll give it a try
And say goodbye
To N apostrophe --

C: N apostrophe --
Both: N apostrophe T!

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