Omniana/Volume 2/Beards
191. Beards.
Guillaume Duprat, bishop of Clermont, who assisted at the council of Trent, and built the college of the Jesuits at Paris, had the finest beard that ever was seen. It was too fine a beard for a bishop, and the Canons of his Cathedral, in full chapter assembled, came to the barbarous resolution of shaving him. Accordingly when next he came to the choir, the dean, the prevot and the chantre approached with scissars and razors, soap, bason and warm water. He took to his heels at the sight and escaped to his castle of Beauregard, about two leagues from Clermont, where he fell sick for vexation, and died. During his illness he made a vow never again to set foot in Clermont, where they had offered him so villainous an insult; and to revenge himself he exchanged the bishoprick with cardinal Salviati, nephew to Leo X. who was so young that he had not a hair upon his chin. Duprat, however, repented of the exchange before his death, and wrote to Salviati, quoting these lines of Martial:
Sed tu nec propera, brevibus nec crede capillis,
Tardaque pro tanto munere barba veni.
The author of this learned criticism upon the Telemaque has not explained why the Chapter of Clermont thought proper to persecute their Bishop's beard. If he was proud of its length, and took pleasure, like the Cid, in cherishing it, that at the worst was a venial offence, which should have been settled between him and his Confessor.
There is a female Saint, whom the Jesuit Sautel, in his Annus Sacer Poeticus, has celebrated for her beard,. . a mark of divine favour bestowed upon her for her prayers. Her day in the kalendar is the 20th of July, and the miracle is thus recorded in these Catholic Fasti.
S. Vuilgefortis Virgo, barbæ repente enascentis miraculo castitatem tuetur.
Virgineo metnens formosa puella pudori,
(Nam nitet eximio pulcher in ore decor:)
Quotquot empyreo Superos agnorat Olympo
His rogat, aut paribus supplice voce sonis;
"O Superi, quibus est curæ virtutis honestas,
"Quosque pius tangit virginitatis amor;
"Vos precor, ut nostro species abscedat ab ore,
"Quæ solet infestos sollicitare procos.
"Non ego deformes vetulæ cutis abnuo rugas,
"Nec quæ gibboso tubere terga tument.
"Nullum ego, Cœlicoiæ, quodcumque est, respuo monstrum,
"Dum meus egregio cedat ab ore nitor."
Audivere preces Superi, namque insita mento
Hirsutis cæpit crescere barba pilis.
Spectantum insolitus præcordia perculit horror,
Seque fugit comitem jungere virgo comes,
Abdicat et mater sobolem, soror ipsa sororem,
Nec proprio nota est hispida Nata patri.
At Virgo lætatur ovans, dum turba procorum
Excidit, optatis non fruitura suis.
Namque vero ut propior facta est barbata Virago
Cœpit ab impuro tutior esse viro.
This was obtaining a beard speciali gratiâ. But there is said to be another way of producing one, which we recommend to the consideration of all Ladymetaphysicians. "Intense thought, (says a writer in the Lady's Magazine) spoils a lady's features;. . it banishes les ris et les graces which make all the enchantment of a female face. I am not sure (he adds) whether in time it may not perfectly masculate the sex; for a certain woman, named Phatheusa, the wife of one Pytheus, thought so intensely during her husband's absence, that at his return she had a beard grown upon her chin."
Rabbi Solomon Duitsch owed his conversion to his beard. This Jew was remarkably affected by a text which perhaps never affected any other person. "Son of man, take thee a sharp knife; take thee a barber's razor and cause it to pass upon thine head and upon thy beard; then take thee balances to weigh and divide the hair." Ezek. v. 1.
"I could not but wonder (says he) why the Lord, who in the xixth of Leviticus had expressly prohibited the children of Israel from shaving the beard, should yet give so opposite a command to Ezekiel, who was also a priest and a prophet! My wonder was augmented, when I remarked that the prophet did not offer any objection to it, as he had done on another occasion, mentioned in the 4th chapter. While meditating on the subject, I felt a strong impression on my mind, as if these words had been addressed to me, as they were to the prophet. I wished to oppose and overcome it, but I had neither rest nor ease: I continually had this rebuke conveyed to my mind: How long wilt thou continue in subjection to the law? How long wilt thou oppose the word of God? In great perplexity, I fell down on my knees, and sighing, said, 'Lord! what wouldst thou have me do? strengthen me to combat with my wicked heart, and enable me to deny myself, and do thy holy will.' I then took a pair of scissars in my right hand, and a looking glass in my left, and began to cut my beard with great quaking and trembling. It is indescribable what I felt while I was engaged in this work; so that I spent upwards of two hours about it. I then lay down for a little repose, and when I awaked my mind was so full of peace and comfort that I could most heartily thank the Lord for his powerful aid, which he had granted to me an unworthy creature."