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| Box. Cox. | Is the little back second floor room ready? |
| Boun. | Not quite, gentlemen. I can't find the pistols, but I have brought you a letter—it came by the General Post yesterday. I am sure I don't know how I came to forget it, for I put it carefully in my pocket. |
| Cox. | And you've kept it carefully in your pocket ever since? |
| Boun. | Yes, sir. I hope you'll forgive me, sir. (Going.) By-the-by, I paid twopence for it. |
| Cox. | Did you? Then I do forgive you. (Exit Boun., d. l. c looking at letter.) "Margate." The post mark decidedly says "Margate." |
| Box. | Oh, doubtless a tender epistle from Penelope Ann. |
| Cox. | Then read it, sir.
[Handing letter to Box.
|
| Box. | Me, sir? |
| Cox | Of course. You don't suppose I'm going to read a letter from your intended. |
| Box. | My intended? Pooh! It's addressed to you—C. O. X. |
| Cox. | Do you think that's a C? It looks to me like a B. |
| Box. | Nonsense! fracture the zeal. |
| Cox. | (opening letter—starts). Goodness gracious! |
| Box. | (snatching letter—starts). Gracious goodness! |
| Cox. | (taking letter again). "Margate—May the 4th. Sir,- I hasten to convey to you the intelligence of a melancholy accident, which has bereft you of your intended wife." He means your intended. |
| Box. | No, yours! However, it's perfectly immaterial. Go on. |
| Cox. | (resuming letter). "Poor Mrs. Wiggins went out for a short excursion in a sailing boat—a sudden and violent squall soon after took place, which, it is supposed, upset her, as she was found, two days afterwards, keel upwards." |
| Box. | Poor woman! |
| Cox. | The boat, sir! (Reading) "As her man of business, I immediately proceeded to examine her papers, amongst which I soon discovered her will; the following extract from which, will, I have no doubt, be satisfactory to you. "I hereby bequeath my entire property to my intended husband." Excellent, but unhappy creature.
[affected
|
| Box. | Generous, ill-fated being.
[affected.
|
| Cox. | And to think that I tossed up for such a woman. |
| Box. | When I remember that I staked such a treasure on the hazard of a die. |
| Cox. | I'm sure, Mr. Box, I can't sufficiently thank you for your sympathy. |
| Box. | And I'm sure, Mr. Cox, you couldn't feel more, if she had been your own intended. |
| Cox. | If she'd been my own intended! She was my own intended. |
| Box. | Your intended? Come, I like that! Didn't you very properly observe just now, sir, that I proposed to her first? |
| Cox. | To which you very sensibly replied that you'd come to an untimely end. |
| Box. | I deny it. |
| Cox. | I say you have! |
| Box. | The fortune's mine! |
| Cox. | Mine! |
| Box. | I'll have it! |
| Cox. | So will I! |
| Box. | I'll go to law! |
| Cox. | So will I! |
| Box. | Stop—a thought strikes me. Instead of going to law about the property, suppose we divide it. |
| Cox. | Equally. |
| Box | Equally. I'll take two thirds. |
| Cox | That's fair enough—and I'll take three fourths. |
| Box. | That won't do. Half and half. |
Cox and Box—52
