replied, "If some fellows eat plantains (or bananas) with office money, I don't see why I may not drink a bottle of soda when thirsty." Here, by way of diversion, I suppose, N. said he wanted his thousand rupees back. P. asked him fiercely if he meant really to be so "perfidious." N. replied, with equal ferocity, that he wanted to get rid of "r——ls." "Very well," said P., taking up N.'s new turban and throwing it out of the window, desiring its owner to leave instantly, on pain of being sent after the turban by the same means of exit. But N. did nothing of the sort. He took P. by the throat, and demanded the satisfaction of throwing out his turban. "It is my right, give me my right, you r——l, and then I'll leave." Here they closed. They tugged and lugged, tore each other's hair and clothes, and mauled each other very prettily. It was with the utmost difficulty that the young Tartars could be separated. And the two — once intimate friends and college chums — have never since been on "speaking terms." That evening, in the presence of friends, servants, and neighbours, who had come up on hearing of the fracas, I wept tears of anguish, in my editorial and presidential chair, at all my hopes of fame and
