38 NOSTALGIA
" Ready, ready ! " yet kept them waiting for half-an- hour. Regina had to give minute descriptions of everything she had seen. The three brothers argued about politics, their ideas being widely apart. Gaspare was a "forcaiuolo " 1 of the first water, uncompromising and cruel ; Massimo was a Tolstoyan Socialist, as much against war as his brother was against liberty ; Antonio was Liberal and a little opportunist. Signora Anna made excursions into her sons' conversation in a manner peculiar to herself. No matter what public character was named, she knew the history of his marriage and could give the name of his mistress. On all such matters she appeared singularly well informed.
After lunch Regina retired to her room, lay down, and slept. When she awoke her ears told her it was again raining, and very heavily. Finding herself once more in the big, hard bed under that detestable ceiling, in the gloom of the chilly room, her depression became almost desperation. She jumped up, and resolved to write her letter home. Antonio established her at the bureau in Signora Anna's room, and she began
" It's pouring. I am in the lowest spirits."
But come ! this was idiotic. Why distress her Mamma with useless lamentations ?
" Is it not my own doing ? " she thought, tearing the note-paper. " Who forced me to change my state, to leave my family, and my home ? For the future I am alone. Alone ! Even if I were to explain, no one would ever understand ! "
Leaning against the desk, she philosophised bitterly.
" Have I the smallest right to complain ? No. 1 One who favours despotism.
