me two or three times in the course of the session, and I was sent down to contest two or three important constituencies; but as I never upon any occasion obtained more than 23 votes, and spent a good deal of money to no purpose, it would be useless to dwell upon this portion of my political career. Another source of considerable expense to me was, that I was induced to enrol my name as a member of a society for promoting certain ultra-democratic objects; and as far as I was concerned the only advantage I obtained was, that I was sent about the country at my own expense as an Honorary Committee, whilst a set of vulgar men, in short trousers of a rusty black hue, who looked very much like Dissenting Ministers of a fierce turn of mind, made all the speeches, and got all the glory. I also made many attempts during this period to get speech of the Sloth, but quite in vain. I always arrived at the place where I was to have had my interview with this mysterious being either five minutes too late, or five hours too soon. I never could see him, either in the Lobby or the House, although his name often appeared in the Division Lists. The nearest approach I ever arrived at was when I was going down to Manchester with Moon by the Morning Express. Upon the road we were passed by the corresponding up train; and as the two sets of carriages shot past each other with the velocity of cross cannon-balls in full flight, M. with great excitement caught me by the arm, and jerking his hand back towards the metropolis, observed, “There goes the Sloth!” It was, however, under the circumstances, impossible to hold any personal communication with him.
At length the early autumn came on, and with it the General Election. It is not my intention to dwell upon this point at any great length. Just before the election commenced, and whilst Parliament was yet sitting, I was introduced by Moon into a small house near Westminster Abbey. The great peculiarity of this place seemed to be, that it contained an infinite number of small rooms and cupboards; and as you walked up-stairs the doors of these would be opened, and you would catch glimpses of the most distinguished members of the House, who jerked the doors to quickly when they saw that anybody was going up or down stairs. You would have supposed the place to be a pawnbroker’s establishment, and that they had all been driven, by the sharp pressure of necessity, to pawn their watches, and very naturally wished to escape observation during the process, as well as eundo et redeundo. What they were about, I am wholly unable to say; all I know is, that I was taken up-stairs to a small room, in which were seated Mr. Lobby and a gentleman who was constantly of great service to his party in the House. I was then informed that my case had been mentioned to the Sloth, and that gentleman was of opinion that there would be at the next election a fair opening at Bribingford-upon-Thames which would suit me to a T. The party had reason to be dissatisfied with the votes recorded by Mr. Rubble, the sitting member, throughout the Session, and would be glad to see a safe man in his place. I am bound to say, that not a pledge was asked of me, nor a condition imposed. I was recommended, however, by Mr. Lobby to be particularly cautious, for my own sake, in the preparation of my address, and to make it as general as possible. I was a young man, and as yet unknown in public life. Why should I put handcuffs on my own wrists? He had a most well-considered aversion to special pledges which it was often found very inconvenient to keep. They were calculated, in his opinion, to strike at the roots of private morality, and to sap the bulwarks of the constitution.
Flora accompanied me to Bribingford. In due course the election came on; and, after an arduous struggle, at the close of the afternoon I was returned by a majority of seven. The expenses of the election, as certified by the auditor, were £69 13s. 4d., which I cheerfully paid.
Some months afterwards, my friend Moon gave me a hint that if I paid into a particular Bank the sum of £2150 to the credit of the Secretary of The Canadian Balsam Company, I should in the usual way receive the coupons; and it was an enterprise to which he begged to call my particular attention. I always had a very high opinion of Moon’s capacity and judgment in commercial matters, so I acted upon his suggestion.
A few days afterwards, as it had reached my ears that some low people at Bribingford were getting up a petition against my return, on the ground of bribery and corruption, I thought I might as well look in upon Mr. Lobby in Whitehall Place. He had heard nothing about it, he said, and could not believe the report, because he was very confident that our friends at Bribingford had proceeded on the strictest principles of purity. There was the bill certified by the auditor—that was all he knew about the matter; and, as far as we were concerned, he felt perfectly satisfied that the interests of private morality, and the bulwarks of the constitution, were quite safe. At the same time, Mr. Lobby cautioned me, as I had not yet much experience of public life, to be exceedingly cautious about my votes, and to say as little as possible during my first Session. They were kind people at Bribingford, and would overlook the shortcomings of so young a member. Still I was only to take this as a friendly hint. I was an independent member—free as air.
CHAPTER IV.
