“‘What do these Loo-Choo friends of yours know of other countries?’ he asked. I told him they were acquainted only with China and Japan. ‘Yes, yes,’ continued he; ‘but of Europe? What do they know of us?’ I replied, ‘They know nothing of Europe at all; they know nothing about France or England; neither,’ I added, ‘have they ever heard of your Majesty.’ Buonaparte laughed heartily at this extraordinary particular in the history of Loo-Choo, a circumstance, he may well have thought, which distinguished it from every other corner of the known world.
“I held in my hand a drawing of Sulphur Island, a solitary and desolate rock in the midst of the Japan sea. He looked at it for a moment, and cried out, ‘Why this is St. Helena itself.’ When he had satisfied himself about our voyage, or at least had extracted everything I could tell him about it, he returned to the subject which had first occupied him, and said in an abrupt way, ‘Is your father an Edinburgh Reviewer?’ I answered, that the names of the authors of that work were kept secret, but that some of my father’s works had been criticised in the journal alluded to. Upon which he turned half round on his heel towards Bertrand, and nodding several times, said, with a significant smile, ‘Ha! ha!’ as if to imply his perfect knowledge of the distinction between author and critic.
“Buonaparte then said, ‘Are you married?’ and upon my replying in the negative, continued, ‘Why not? What is the reason you don’t marry?’ I was somewhat at a loss for a good answer, and remained silent. He repeated his question, however, in such a way, that I was forced to say something, and told him I had been too busy all my life; besides which, I was not in circumstances to marry. He did not seem to understand me, and again wished to know why I was a bachelor. I told him I was too poor a man to marry. ‘Aha!’ he cried, ‘I now see – want of money – no money – yes, yes!’ and laughed heartily; in which I joined, of course, though to say the truth, I did not altogether see the humorous point of the joke.
“The last question he put related to the size and force of the vessel I commanded, and then he said, in a tone of authority, as if he had some influence in the matter, ‘you will reach England in thirty-five days’ – a prophecy, by the by, which failed miserably in the accomplishment, as we took sixty-two days, and were nearly starved into the bargain. After this remark he paused for about a quarter of a minute, and then making me a slight inclination of his head, wished me a good voyage, and stepping back a couple of paces, allowed me to retire.
"My friends, Mr. Clifford and Mr. Harvey, were now presented to him. He put some civil commonplace questions, and after an audience of a few minutes, dismissed them.
“Buonaparte struck me as differing considerably from the pictures and busts I had seen of him. His face and figure looked much broader and more square, larger, indeed, in every way, than any representation I had met with. His corpulency, at this time universally reported to be excessive, was by no means remarkable. His flesh looked, on the contrary,