CHAPTER III
PROGRESS IN PREPARATION
I thought I would go through a course of study and prepare for the work, thinking the Lord would make my husband and people willing in some way to let me go out and work. But I could not get my mind fixed on my study. Everything seemed empty and vacant, and I was restless and uneasy.
The dear Savior stood by me one night in a vision and talked face to face with me, and asked what I was doing on earth. I felt condemned, and said, "Lord, I am going to work in thy vineyard." The Lord said, "When?" and I answered, "When I get prepared for the work." Then the Lord said to me, "Don't you know that while you are getting ready souls are perishing? Go now, and I will be with you." I told Him that I could not talk to the people; I did not know what to say, and they would not listen to me. Jesus said, "You can tell the people what the Lord has done for your soul; tell of the glory of God and the love of Jesus; tell sinners to repent and prepare for death and the judgment, and I will be with you." Still I made one excuse after another, and Jesus would answer, "Go, and I will be with you."
I told Him I wanted to study the Bible; that I did not understand it well enough. Then there appeared upon the wall a large open Bible, and the verses stood out in raised letters. The glory of God shone around and upon the book. I looked, and I could understand it all.
Then Jesus said again, "Go, and I will be with you." I cried, "Lord, I will go. Where shall I go?" And Jesus said, "Go here, go there, wherever souls are perishing." Praise the Lord for his wonderful goodness in revealing his word and will in such a wonderful way, to such a poor weak worm of the dust. I saw more in that vision than I could have learned in years of hard study. Praise His Holy Name. I saw that I must not depend on any thing that I could do, but to look to Him for strength and wisdom. "Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit," saith the Lord. I was to be the vessel of clay God was going to use to his own glory. I was to be God's mouth-piece. I must trust God to
speak through me to the people the words of eternal life.
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