Page:The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club.djvu/575

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481
POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF THE PICKWICK CLUB
481

THE PICKWICK CLUB. 481

"Oh, Samuel!" said Mrs. Weller. " This is dreadful."

" Not a bit on it, mum," replied Sam. *' Is it. Shepherd?"

Mr. Stiggins raised his hands, and turned up his eyes, till the whites — or rather the yellows — were alone visible, but made no reply in words.

  • ' Is this here genUm'n troubled vith any painful complaint?'* said

Sam, looking to his mother-in-law for explanation.

" The good man is grieved to see you here, Samuel," replied Mrs. Weller.

"Oh, that's it, is it?" said Sam. ** I wos afeerd, from his manner^ that he might ha' forgotten to take pepper vith that 'ere last CQweum- ber he eat. Set down. Sir ; ve make no extra charge for the settin' down, as the king remarked ven he blow'd up his ministers."

"Young man," said Mr. Stiggins, ostentatiously, "I fear you are not softened by imprisonment."

"Beg your pardon, Sir," replied Sam, "wot wos you graciously please to hobserve ? "

" I apprehend, young man, that your nature is no softer for this chastening," said Mr. Stiggins, in a loud voice.

"Sir," replied Sam, '^you're wery kind to say so. I hope my natur is 7iot a soft vun. Sir. Wery much obliged to you for your good opinion, Sir.

At this point of the conversation, a sound, indecorously approaching to a laugh, was heard to proceed from the chair in which the elder Mr. Weller was seated, upon which Mrs. Weller, on a hasty consideration of all the circumstances of the case, considered it her bounden duty to become gradually hysterical.

'^ Weller," said JVIrs. W. (the old gentleman was seated in a comer); " Weller ! come forth."

" Wery much obleeged to you, my dear," replied Mr. Weller ; " but I'm quite comfortable vere I am."

Upon this, Mrs. Weller burst into tears.

" Wot's gone wrong, mum ? " said k5am.

"Oh, Samuel!" replied Mrs. Weller; "your father makes me wretched. Will nothing do him good ? "

" Do you hear this here ? " said Sam. " Lady vants to know vether nothin' 'ull do you good."

"Wery much indebted to Mrs. Weller for her po-lite enquiries, Sammy,'" replied the old gentleman. "I think a pipe vould benefit me a good deal. Could I be accommodated, Sammy ?"

Here Mrs. Weller let fall some more tears, and Mr. Stiggins groaned.

" Hallo ! here's this unfort'nate gen'lm'n took ill agin," said Sam, looking round. " Vere do you feel it now. Sir ? "

"In the same place, young man," rejoined Mr. Stiggins: "in the same place."

" Vere may that be, Sir ? " enquired Sam, with great outward sim plicity.

"In the buzzim, young man," replied Mr. Stiggins, placing his umbrella on his waistcoat.