Manon's absence, my uncertainty as to her fate and fear that I should never see her again—such were the sole subjects of my melancholy meditations. I pictured her in the arms of G——— M———; for that had been my first thought; and, so far from imagining that he had subjected her to the same treatment as myself, I was fully persuaded that he had had me put out of the way only to gain undisturbed possession of her.
Thus did I pass day after day and night after night, every one of which seemed to me of interminable length. My only hope lay in the success of my hypocrisy. With
anxious care did I scan the Superior's face and note his every word, to satisfy myself as to what opinion he was forming of me; while I made it my constant study to please him, for was he not the arbiter of my fate?
I soon perceived that I was firmly established in his good graces, and that I might safely count upon his willingness to serve me. Summoning up all my boldness one day, I asked him whether my release depended upon his decision. He replied that he had not absolute control of the matter, but that he had reason to hope that, upon his representations, Monsieur de G——— M——— (at whose solicitation the Lieutenant-General of Police had ordered my confinement) would consent to my restoration to liberty.
