Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 2.djvu/320

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268
A FRAGMENT.

derfully head-strong and hard-mouthed. However, it came about, the saint felt his vessel full extended in every part (a very natural effect of strong inspiration;) and the place and time falling out so unluckily, that he could not have the convenience of evacuating upwards, by repetition, prayer, or lecture; he was forced to open an inferiour vent. In short, he wrestled with the flesh so long, that he at length subdued it, coming off with honourable wounds, all before. The surgeon had now cured the parts primarily affected; but the disease, driven from its post, flew up into his head; and, as a skilful general, valiantly attacked in his trenches, and beaten from the field, by flying marches withdraws to the capital city, breaking down the bridges to prevent pursuit; so the disease, repelled from its first station, fled before the rod of Hermes, to the upper region, there fortifying itself; but, finding the foe making attacks at the nose, broke down the bridge, and retired to the head-quarters. Now, the naturalists observe, that there is in human noses an idiosyncracy, by virtue of which, the more the passage is obstructed, the more our speech delights to go through, as the music of a flagellet is made by the stops. By this method, the twang of the nose becomes perfectly to resemble the snuffle of a bag-pipe, and is found to be equally attractive of British ears; whereof the saint had sudden experience, by practising his new faculty, with wonderful success, in the operation of the spirit: for, in a short time, no doctrine passed for sound and orthodox, unless it were delivered through the nose. Straight, every pastor copied after this original; and those, who could not otherwise arrive to a perfection, spirited by a noble zeal,

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