Snorkey. Now, that's what I don't know myself! You see I was down by the steps of the Fifth Avenue Hotel, taking a light supper off a small toothpick, when a big chap dressed in black came by, and says he: "Hallo, come with me if you want to earn a quarter." That (confidentially to all) being my very frame of mind, I went up one street and down another, till we came here. "Just you take this up there," says he, "and ask for Miss {sc|Laura Courtland}}, and give it to her and no one else."
Laura. It is some folly of our late visitors.
Snorkey. I'm one of the Soldier Messengers, Miss. We take to it very well, considering we had so little running in Uncle Sam's service.
Ray. (As Snor. is going L.) Stop a moment, my man. Were you not one of the Twenty-second's recruits?
Snorkey. Yes, Captain; I remember you joined us in New York, and left us at Washington. Real fighting wasn't funny, you thought, and I began to think so too at Fredericksburg.
Ray. Poor devil.
Snorkey. There was a South Carolina gentleman took such a fancy to me at Fredericksburg! Wouldn't have no denial, cut off my arm to remember me by; he was very fond of me. I wasn't any use to Uncle Sam then, so I came home, put a red band round my blue cap, and with my empty sleeve, as a character from my last place, sot up for light porter and general messenger. All orders executed with neatness and dispatch.
Pearl. And Uncle Sam has forgotten you.
Snorkey. Ah! Miss, don't blame Uncle Sam for that, he's got such a big family to look after, I can't find fault if he don't happen to remember all us poor stumps of fellows.
Ray. (L. H.) So it seems.
Laura. (C.) (Pearl takes bouquet.) Poor fellow! (To servant.) Martin, be sure and give him a glass of wine before he goes.
Snorkey. (L. C.) I m much obliged, Miss—but I don't think it would be good for me on an empty stomach—after fasting all day.
Laura. Well, Martin shall find you some supper, too.
Snorkey. Is this Martin? What a nice young man. Mayn't lie have a drop of something, too? He must have caught cold let ting me in, he has got such a dreadful stiffness in the back of his neck.
Ray. (Giving penciled address.) Call on me at this place to-morrow, and you shan't regret it.
Snorkey. All right, Cap'n! I havn't forgot the Army Regulations about punctuality and promotion. Ladies, if ever either of you should want a Light Porter, think of Joe Snorkey—wages no objection.
Pearl. (C.) (Who has been examining the bouquet.) O! Laura, only look—here's a billet-doux!
Ray. Nonsense! Crazy head! Who would dare (takes bouquet)—a letter! (Takes a paper from bouquet.)
Laura. A letter?
Pearl. I am crazy—am I?
Ray. (Reads superscription.) "For Miss Laura Courtland. Confidential."
Laura. (Laughs.) Ha! Ha! from some goose who has made one call too many to-day. Read it, Ray—(Offering letter.)
