Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (1).pdf/21

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a sweat, with a great basket of boiled pease, which appearence surprised the judge, who asked him what he meant by these boiled pease? says George I am going to sow them. When will they grow? said the judge. They will grow, said George, when sodden eggs grow chickens. Which answer convinced the judge of the extravagance of the innkeeper's demand, and the Scotchman was acquitted for two pence halfpenny. George, one day easing himself at the corner of a hedge, was espied by an English squire who began to mock him asking him why he did not keckle like the hens? But George, whose wit was always ready, told him he was afraid to keckle, lest he should come and snatch up the egg, which rebuff made the squire walk off as mute as a fish. George was professor of the College of St Andrews, and slipt out ono day in his gown and slippers, and went on his travels through Italy, and several other foreign countries and after seven years, returned with the same dress he went off in; and entering the college took possession of his seat there; but the professor in his room quarreling him for go doing. Ay, says George, it is a very odd thing that a man cannot take a walk out in his slippers, but another will take up his scat. And so set the other professor about his busi- ness. Two drunken fellows one day fell a beating one an. other on the streets of London, which caused a great croud of people to throng together to see what it was. A tailor being at work up a garret, about three or four stories high, and he hearing the noise in the street, looking over the window, but could not see them; he began to stretch himself, making a long nock, until he fell down out of the window, and alighted on an old man who was walking on the street; the poor tailor