Get up Sam, 'n' harness Nancy, Shake the hayseed from yer head; We are goin' on a 's'cursion, Goin' on the old bob-sled; Won't the folks think we are handsome, As we pass the village street; With the old horse-blanket round us, And a bed-quilt at our feet!
Won't they stare with mouths wide open, When they see our fine turn-out? Stare away, ye duck-leg 'd dandy— Guess we know what we're about! Won't they think that Sam's a daisy, Settin' there so grand 'n' straight— Wonder what they'll think of Phoebe With her sleepy-lookin' pate?
Have yer got the harness mended? Well, go tie it with a string! Fix it so's 'twill hold together; Take a rope, or anything! Drive a nail into the fender! It won't wobble then, I hope,— The thill is broken in two places? Here—come get this other rope!
Then go brush old Nancy's foretop, From her mane pick off the hay; In a knot then tie her tail up So it won't be in the way. Tie a greased rag round her spavin! To let 'er hurt it won't be right,— Say! d'ye spose we'll want the larntern, When we're comin' home tonight?
Wish we had a nigger driver, Then I guess we'd go in style; We'd make the people gaze before We'd been a half a mile! Come now, hurry, Jake and Lydia,— Have ye washed yer? where 's the comb? Come now, hurry,—let's start early, So we'll find the folks at home.
Hope Aunt Hulda 'll bile some 'taters; Won't we ply the knife and fork? Hope she'll have a Injun pudd'n! Hope she 'll have a hunk of pork! Marm, bring out that bag o ' apples! See them youngsters fight 'n' scratch! Shut the door 'n' crawl out o' the winder! Stick the scissors in the latch!
Now we're off, as sure as preachin' Sun is in the eastern sky,— Nancy! Nancy! don 't git frisky! My! but aint the critter high! Phoebe, tuck that blanket round yer, Have ye got yer gaiters on? Gosh—I've left my pipe 'n' barker, Clean forgot 'em sure's yer born!
Sam, set over side of Lydia— Marm 'n' me will set in front,— Thought I'd get a jug o' 'lasses, But I swan, I guess I won't. Got to stop 'n' buy some 'barker— Can't git through the day without. Double up yer long legs, Sammy— Stop yer sprawlin' like a lout!
Hold on Bill! ye 'll git a tumble— Ye 'll be slidin' on yer head! Jake, SET DOWN! or I shall send ye To the other end o' the sled! There, now see if yell keep quiet— Billy, Sh! shut up yer beak! Mustn't holler by the houses,— Bad enough to look 'n peek.
Without a squallin' like a 'n Injun! Guess yer mammy was a squaw,— What! he keeps his chin a goin' Just the image of his Pa? Get up Nancy! Show yer sperit! Whoop-along thar, Nancy—climb! Durn ye, git a wiggle on ye— We sha'n't be back 'fore milkin' time.
