Songs and Lyrics (Lehrer)/Don't Major in Physics

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3413867Songs and Lyrics — Don't Major in PhysicsThomas Andrew Lehrer

DON'T MAJOR IN PHYSICS

words by Tom Lehrer
music: "The Trouble with Women" by Kurt Weill
(from One Touch of Venus)

(1st student)
Oh, I once loved a sweet Physics student,
The loveliest girl one could find,
But I tried to get close and I cudent,
For she said that she wasn't "that kind."
More often a king weds a commoner
Than a physicist makes a housewife,
For they only are versed in phenomener
That have nothing to do with real life.

(Chorus)
So don 't ever major in Physics,
Try History, English , or Gov,
For you may learn a lot about science,
But you won 't learn a thing about love.

(2nd student)
Oh, I too loved a young Physics major,
She was pretty and healthy and pure,
But I wouldn't take one now on a wager,
For they all are like her, I am sure.
She didn't like couches or hammocks
Or walks in the moonlight for two.
All she thought of was thermodynammocks,
So what, tell me what, could I do?

(Chorus)

(3rd student)
Now I have the opposite status:
I like physics and my girl does not.
I tried showing her my apparatus,
But a blank smile was all that I got.
She asked me why I was in Physics,
And advised me to transfer to Ec,
And whenever I tried to talk Physics,
All she wanted to do was to neck! (ugh!)

(Chorus)