The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift/Volume 8/The Place of the Damned

by Jonathan Swift

THE PLACE OF THE DAMNED. 1731.

ALL folks, who pretend to religion and grace,
Allow there's a Hell, but dispute of the place:
But, if Hell may by logical rules be defin'd
The place of the damn'd — I'll tell you my mind.
Wherever the damn'd do chiefly abound,
Most certainly there is Hell to be found:
Damn'd poets, damn'd criticks, damn'd blockheads, damn'd knaves,
Damn'd senators brib'd, damn'd prostitute slaves;
Damn'd lawyers and judges, damn'd lords and damn'd squires;
Damn'd spies and informers, damn'd friends, and damn'd liars;
Damn'd villains, corrupted in every station;
Damn'd timeserving priests all over the nation;
And into the bargain I'll readily give you
Damn'd ignorant prelates and counsellors privy.
Then let us no longer by parsons be flamm'd,
For we know by these marks the place of the damn'd:
And Hell to be sure is at Paris or Rome.
How happy for us that it is not at home!