Yawcob Strauss and Other Poems/Johnny Judkins

From Wikisource
Jump to: navigation, search


Johnny Judkins was a vender
Of a patent liquid blacking:
Johnny Judkins he was witty,
And for "cheek" he was not lacking.

Johnny stood upon the corner,
Selling polish day by day,
And would "polish off" a party
Who had any thing to say.

Johnny's stereotyped expression
Was, "Now, gents, at the beginnin'
I would state this magic polish
Will not soil the finest linen."

Johnny then its other virtues
Rapidly would mention o'er,
And would sell his gaping hearers
From a dozen to a score.

Hans von Puffer bought a bottle,
Which upon his shirt-front white,
As he used it without caution,
Left a spot as black as night.

Back to Johnny went Von Puffer,
Saying, " Vot vas dot you zayl
'Tvill not soil der vinest linen?
See mine shirt-vrond righdt avay!

"Vot vas dot ubon mine bosom?
Von't you dold me, ef you blease!
Shust you gife me pack mine money,
Or I goes vor der boleese!"

Johnny looked upon the Deutscher
With a bland and childlike smile;
Then upon the crowd before him,
Who enjoyed the sport meanwhile.

"Gentlemen," says Johnny Judkins,
"As I said in the beginnin',
This 'ere patent liquid polish
Will not soil the finest linen.

"As for that," says Johnny Judkins,—
Pointing where the spot of crock
Showed upon Von Puffer's bosom
Like a black sheep in a flock,—
Yawcob Strauss 1910-060.png
"As for that," repeated Johnny,
"If you call that linen fine,
I would merely say, my hearers,
Your opinion is not mine."

Johnny Judkins still continues
Selling blacking by the ton.
Hans von Puffer chalks that bosom
Every time he puts it on.
Yawcob Strauss 1910-061.png

This work is in the public domain in the United States because it was published before January 1, 1923.

The author died in 1918, so this work is also in the public domain in countries and areas where the copyright term is the author's life plus 99 years or less. This work may also be in the public domain in countries and areas with longer native copyright terms that apply the rule of the shorter term to foreign works.