The Dunciad/Book 4
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The Poet being, in this Book, to declare the Completion of the Prophecies mention'd at the end of the former, makes a new Invocation; as the greater Poets are wont, when some high and worthy matter is to be sung. He shews the Goddess coming in her Majesty, to destroy Order and Science, and to substitute the Kingdom of the Dull upon earth. How she leads captive the Sciences, and silenceth the Muses; and what they be who succeed in their stead. All her Children, by a wonderful attraction, are drawn about her; and bear along with them divers others, who promote her Empire by connivance, weak resistance, or discouragement of Arts; such as Half-wits, tasteless Admirers, vain Pretenders, the Flatterers of Dunces, or the Patrons of them. All these crowd round her; one of them offering to approach her, is driven back by a Rival, but she commends and encourages both. The first who speak in form are the Genius's of the Schools, who assure her of their care to advance her Cause, by confining Youth to Words, and keeping them out of the way of real Knowledge. Their Address, and her gracious Answer; with her Charge to them and the Universities. The Universities appear by their proper Deputies, and assure her that the same method is observ'd in the progress of Education; The speech of Aristarchus on this subject. They are driven off by a band of young Gentlemen return'd from Travel with their Tutors; one of whom delivers to the Goddess, in a polite oration, an account of the whole Conduct and Fruits of their Travels: presenting to her at the same time a young Nobleman perfectly accomplished. She receives him graciously, and indues him with the happy quality of Want of Shame. She sees loitering about her a number of Indolent Persons abandoning all business and duty, and dying with laziness: To these approaches the Antiquary Annius, intreating her to make them Virtuosos, and assign them over to him: But Mummius, another Antiquary, complaining of his fraudulent proceeding, she finds a method to reconcile their difference. Then enter a Troop of people fantastically adorn'd, offering her strange and exotic presents: Amongst them, one stands forth and demands justice on another, who had deprived him of one of the greatest Curiosities in nature: but he justifies himself so well, that the Goddess gives them both her approbation. She recommends to them to find proper employment for the Indolents before-mentioned, in the study of Butterflies, Shells, Birds-nests, Moss, &c. but with particular caution, not to proceed beyond Trifles, to any useful or extensive views of Nature, or of the Author of Nature. Against the last of these apprehensions, she is secured by a hearty Address from the Minute Philosophers and Freethinkers, one of whom speaks in the name of the rest. The Youth thus instructed and principled, are delivered to her in a body, by the hands of Silenus; and then admitted to taste the Cup of the Magus her High Priest, which causes a total oblivion of all Obligations, divine, civil, moral, or rational. To these her Adepts she sends Priests, Attendants, and Comforters, of various kinds; confers on them Orders and Degrees; and then dismissing them with a speech, confirming to each his Privileges and telling what she expects from each, concludes with a Yawn of extraordinary virtue: The Progress and Effects whereof on all Orders of men, and the Consummation of all, in the Restoration of Night and Chaos, conclude the Poem.
YET, yet a moment, one dim Ray of Light[R 2]
Indulge, dread Chaos, and eternal Night![R 3]
Of darkness visible so much be lent,
As half to shew, half veil the deep Intent.[R 4]
5 Ye Pow'rs! whose Mysteries restor'd I sing,
To whom Time bears me on his rapid wing,[R 5]
Suspend a while your Force inertly strong,[R 6]
Then take at once the Poet and the Song.
Now flam'd the Dog-star's unpropitious ray,
10 Smote ev'ry Brain, and wither'd ev'ry Bay;
Sick was the Sun, the Owl forsook his bow'r,
The moon-struck Prophet[R 7] felt the madding hour:
Then rose the Seed of Chaos, and of Night,
To blot out Order, and extinguish Light,[R 8]
15 Of dull and venal[R 9] a new World[R 10] to mold,
And bring Saturnian days of Lead and Gold.[R 11]
She mounts the Throne: her head a Cloud conceal'd,
In broad Effulgence all below reveal'd,[R 12]
('Tis thus aspiring Dulness ever shines)
20 Soft on her lap her Laureat son reclines.[R 13][R 14]
Beneath her foot-stool, Science groans in Chains,
And Wit dreads Exile, Penalties and Pains.[R 15]
There foam'd rebellious Logic, gagg'd and bound,
There, stript, fair Rhet'ric languish'd on the ground;
25 His blunted Arms by Sophisory are born,
And shameless Billingsgate her Robes adorn.
Morality, by her false Guardians drawn,[R 16]
Chicane in Furs, and Casuistry in Lawn,
Gasps, as they straiten at each end the cord,
30 And dies, when Dulness gives her Page the word.[R 17]
Mad Mathesis,[R 18] alone was unconfin'd,
Too mad for mere material chains to bind,
Now to pure Space[R 19] lifts her extatic stare,
Now running round the Circle, finds it square.[R 20]
35 But held in ten-fold bonds the Muses lie,
Watch'd both by Envy's and by Flatt'ry's eye:[R 21]
There to her heart sad Tragedy addrest
The dagger wont to pierce the Tyrant's breast;
But sober History[R 22] restrain'd her rage,
40 And promis'd Vengeance on a barb'rous age.
There sunk Thalia, nerveless, cold, and dead,
Had not her Sister Satyr held her head:
Nor cou'd'st thou, Chesterfield! a tear refuse,[R 23]
Thou wept'st, and with thee wept each gentle Muse.
45 When lo! a Harlot form soft sliding by,[R 24]
With mincing step, small voice, and languid eye;
Foreign her air, her robe's discordant pride
In patch-work flutt'ring, and her head aside:
By singing Peers up-held on either hand,
50 She tripp'd and laugh'd, too pretty much to stand;
Cast on the prostrate Nine a scornful look,
Then thus in quaint Recitativo spoke.
O Cara! Cara! silence all that train:
Joy to great Chaos! let Division reign:[R 25]
55 Chromatic tortures soon shall drive them hence,[R 26]
Break all their nerves, and fritter all their sense:
One Trill shall harmonize joy, grief, and rage,
Wake the dull Church, and lull the ranting Stage;
To the same notes thy sons shall hum, or snore,
60 And all thy yawning daughters cry, encore.
Another Phœbus, thy own Phœbus, reigns,[R 27]
Joys in my jiggs, and dances in my chains.
But soon, ah soon Rebellion will commence,
If Music meanly borrows aid from Sense:
65 Strong in new Arms, lo! Giant Handel stands,
Like bold Briareus, with a hundred hands;
To stir, to rouze, to shake the Soul he comes,
And Jove's own Thunders follow Mars's Drums.
Arrest him, Empress; or you sleep no more—
70 She heard, and drove him to th' Hibernian shore.
And now had Fame's posterior Trumpet[R 28] blown,
And all the Nations summon'd to the Throne.
The young, the old, who feel her inward sway,
One instinct seizes, and transports away.
75 None need a guide,[R 29] by sure Attraction led,
And strong impulsive gravity of Head:[R 30]
None want a place, for all their Centre found,
Hung to the Goddess, and coher'd around.
Not closer, orb in orb, conglob'd are seen
80 The buzzing Bees about their dusky Queen.
The gath'ring number, as it moves along,
Involves a vast involuntary throng,
Who gently drawn, and struggling less and less,
Roll in her Vortex, and her pow'r confess.
85 Not those alone who passive own her laws,
But who, weak rebels, more advance her cause.
Whate'er of dunce in College or in Town
Sneers at another, in toupee or gown;
Whate'er of mungril no one class admits,
90 A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits.
Nor absent they, no members of her state,
Who pay her homage in her sons, the Great;
Who false to Phœbus,[R 31] bow the knee to Baal;
Or impious, preach his Word without a call.
95 Patrons, who sneak from living worth to dead,
With-hold the pension, and set up the head;
Or vest dull Flatt'ry in the sacred Gown;
Or give from fool to fool the Laurel crown.
And (last and worst) with all the cant of wit,
100 Without the soul, the Muse's Hypocrit.[R 32]
There march'd the bard and blockhead, side by side,
Who rhym'd for hire, and patroniz'd for pride.
Narcissus, prais'd with all a Parson's pow'r,
Look'd a white lilly sunk beneath a show'r
105 There mov'd Montalto with superior air;
His stretch'd-out arm display'd a Volume fair;
Courtiers and Patriots in two ranks divide,
Thro' both he pass'd, and bow'd from side to side:
But as in graceful act, with awful eye
110 Compos'd he stood, bold Benson[R 33] thrust him by:
On two unequal crutches propt he came,
Milton's on this, on that one Johnston's name.
The decent Knight[R 34] retir'd with sober rage,
Withdrew his hand, and clos'd the pompous page.
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When Dulness, smiling—"Thus revive the Wits![R 35]
120 But murder first, and mince them all to bits;
As erst Medea (cruel, so to save!)
A new Edition of old Æson[R 36] gave,
Let standard-Authors, thus, like trophies born,
Appear more glorious as more hack'd and torn,
125 And you, my Critics! in the chequer'd shade,
Admire new light thro' holes yourselves have made.
Leave not a foot of verse, a foot of stone,
A Page, a Grave,[R 37][R 38] that they can call their own;
But spread, my sons, your glory thin or thick,
130 On passive paper, or on solid brick.
So by each Bard an Alderman shall sit,[R 39]
A heavy Lord shall hang at ev'ry Wit,
And while on Fame's triumphal Car they ride,
Some Slave of mine be pinion'd to their side.
135 Now crowds on crowds around the Goddess press,
Each eager to present the first Address.
Dunce scorning Dunce beholds the next advance,
But Fop shews Fop superior complaisance.[R 40]
When lo! a Spectre rose, whose index-hand
140 Held forth the Virtue of the dreadful wand;[R 41]
His beaver'd brow a birchen garland wears,
Dropping with Infant's blood, and Mother's tears.
O'er ev'ry vein a shudd'ring horror runs;
Eton and Winton shake thro' all their Sons.
145 All Flesh is humbled, Westminster's bold race
Shrink, and confess the Genius of the place:
The pale Boy-Senator yet tingling stands,
And holds his breeches[R 42] close with both his hands.
Then thus. Since Man from beast by Words is known,
150 Words are Man's province, Words we teach alone.
When Reason doubtful, like the Samian letter,[R 43]
Points him two ways, the narrower is the better.
Plac'd at the door of Learning, youth to guide,[R 44]
We never suffer it to stand too wide.
155 To ask, to guess, to know, as they commence,
As Fancy opens the quick springs of Sense,
We ply the Memory, we load the brain,
Bind rebel Wit, and double chain on chain,
Confine the thought, to exercise the breath;[R 45]
160 And keep them in the pale of Words till death.
Whate'er the talents, or howe'er design'd,
We hang one jingling padlock on the mind:[R 46]
A Poet the first day, he dips his quill;
And what the last? a very Poet still.
165 Pity! the charm works only in our wall,
Lost, lost too soon in yonder House or Hall.[R 47]
There truant Wyndham ev'ry Muse gave o'er,
There Talbot sunk, and was a Wit no more!
How sweet an Ovid, Murray was our boast!
170 How many Martials were in Pult'ney lost!
Else sure some Bard, to our eternal praise,
In twice ten thousand rhyming nights and days,
Had reach'd the Work, the All that mortal can;
And South beheld that Master-piece of Man.[R 48]
175 Oh (cry'd the Goddess) for some pedant Reign![R 49]
Some gentle James, to bless the land again;[R 50]
To stick the Doctor's Chair into the Throne,
Give law to Words, or war with Words alone,
Senates and Courts with Greek and Latin rule,
180 And turn the Council to a Grammar School!
For sure, if Dulness sees a grateful Day,
'Tis in the shade of Arbitrary Sway.[R 51]
O! if my sons may learn one earthly thing,
Teach but that one, sufficient for a King;
185 That which my Priests, and mine alone, maintain,
Which as it dies, or lives, we fill, or reign:
May you, may Cam, and Isis preach it long!
"The Right Divine of Kings to govern wrong."
Prompt at the call, around the Goddess roll
190 Broad hats, and hoods, and caps, a sable shoal:
Thick and more thick the black blockade extends,
A hundred head of Aristotle's friends.[R 52][R 53]
Nor wert thou, Isis! wanting to the day,
[Tho' Christ-church[R 54] long kept prudishly away.]
195 Each staunch Polemic, stubborn as a rock,
Each fierce Logician, still expelling Locke,[R 55]
Came whip and spur, and dash'd thro' thin and thick
On German Crouzaz, and Dutch Burgersdyck.[R 56]
As many quit the streams[R 57] that murm'ring fall
200 To lull the sons of Marg'ret and Clare-hall,
Where Bentley late tempestuous wont to sport
In troubled waters, but now sleeps in Port.[R 58]
Before them march'd that awful Aristarch;
Plow'd was his front with many a deep Remark:
205 His Hat, which never vail'd to human pride,[R 59]
Walker with rev'rence took, and lay'd aside.
Low bow'd the rest: He, kingly, did but nod;[I 1]
So upright Quakers please both Man and God.
Mistress! dismiss that rabble from your throne:
210 Avaunt———is Aristarchus[R 60] yet unknown?[I 2]
Thy mighty Scholiast, whose unweary'd pains
Made Horace dull, and humbled Milton's strains.
Turn what they will to Verse, their toil is vain,
Critics like me shall make it Prose again.
215 Roman and Greek Grammarians! know your Better:[I 3]
Author of something yet more great than Letter;
While tow'ring o'er your Alphabet, like Saul,
Stands our Digamma, and o'er-tops them all.[R 61]
'Tis true, on Words is still our whole debate,
220 Disputes of Me or Te,[R 62] of aut or at,
To sound or sink in cano, O or A,
Or give up Cicero to C or K.[R 63]
Let Freind affect to speak as Terence spoke,
And Alsop never but like Horace joke:[R 64]
225 For me, what Virgil, Pliny may deny,
Manilius or Solinus[R 65] shall supply:
For Attic Phrase in Plato let them seek,
I poach in Suidas for unlicens'd Greek.[R 66]
In ancient Sense if any needs will deal,
230 Be sure I give them Fragments, not a Meal;
What Gellius or Stobæus hash'd before,
Or chew'd by blind old Scholiasts o'er and o'er.[R 67]
The critic Eye, that microscope of Wit,
Sees hairs and pores, examines bit by bit:
235 How parts relate to parts, or they to whole,
The body's harmony, the beaming soul,
Are things which Kuster, Burman, Wasse shall see,
When Man's whole frame is obvious to a Flea.
Ah, think not, Mistress! more true Dulness lies
240 In Folly's Cap, than Wisdom's grave disguise.[R 68]
Like buoys, that never sink into the flood,
On Learning's surface we but lie and nod.[R 69]
Thine is the genuine head of many a house,
And much Divinity without a Νοῦς.[R 70]
245 Nor could a Barrow work on ev'ry block,
Nor has one Atterbury spoil'd the flock.[R 71]
See! still thy own, the heavy Canon[R 72] roll,
And Metaphysic smokes involve the Pole.[R 73]
For thee we dim the eyes, and stuff the head
250 With all such reading as was never read:
For thee explain a thing till all men doubt it,
And write about it, Goddess, and about it:
So spins the silk-worm small its slender store,
And labours till it clouds itself all o'er.
255 What tho' we let some better sort of fool[R 74]
Thrid ev'ry science, run thro' ev'ry school?
Never by tumbler thro' the hoops was shown
Such skill in passing all, and touching none.
He may indeed (if sober all this time)
260 Plague with Dispute, or persecute with Rhyme.
We only furnish what he cannot use,
Or wed to what he must divorce, a Muse:
Full in the midst of Euclid dip at once,
And petrify a Genius[R 75] to a Dunce:
265 Or set on Metaphysic ground to prance,
Show all his paces, not a step advance.
With the same Cement, ever sure to bind,
We bring to one dead level ev'ry mind.
Then take him to devellop, if you can,
270 And hew the Block off,[R 76] and get out the Man.
But wherefore waste I words? I see advance
Whore, Pupil, and lac'd Governor[R 77][R 78] from France.
Walker! our hat—nor more he deign'd to say,
But, stern as Ajax' spectre,[R 79] strode away.
275 In flow'd at once a gay embroider'd race,
And titt'ring push'd the Pedants off the place:[R 80]
Some would have spoken, but the voice was drown'd
By the French horn, or by the op'ning hound.
The first came forwards, with as easy mien,[R 81]
280 As if he saw St. James's[R 82] and the Queen.
When thus th'attendant Orator[R 83] begun.
Receive, great Empress! thy accomplish'd Son:
Thine from the birth, and sacred from the rod,
A dauntless infant! never scar'd with God.[R 84]
285 The Sire saw, one by one, his Virtues wake:
The Mother begg'd the blessing of a Rake.
Thou gav'st that Ripeness, which so soon began,
And ceas'd so soon, he ne'er was Boy, nor Man.[R 85]
Thro' School and College, thy kind cloud o'ercast,
290 Safe and unseen the young Æneas past:
Thence bursting glorious,[R 86] all at once let down,
Stunn'd with his giddy Larum half the town.
Intrepid then, o'er seas and lands he flew:
Europe he saw, and Europe saw him too.
295 There all thy gifts and graces we display,
Thou, only thou, directing all our way!
To where the Seine, obsequious as she runs,
Pours at great Bourbon's feet her silken sons;
Or Tyber, now no longer Roman, rolls,
300 Vain of Italian Arts, Italian Souls:
To happy Convents, bosom'd deep in vines,
Where slumber Abbots, purple as their wines:
To Isles of fragrance, lilly-silver'd vales,[R 87]
Diffusing languor in the panting gales:
305 To lands of singing, or of dancing slaves,
Love-whisp'ring woods, and lute-resounding waves.
But chief her shrine where naked Venus keeps,
And Cupids ride the Lyon of the Deeps;[R 88]
Where, eas'd of Fleets, the Adriatic main
310 Wafts the smooth Eunuch and enamour'd swain.
Led by my hand, he saunter'd Europe round,
And gather'd ev'ry Vice on Christian ground;
Saw ev'ry Court, hear'd ev'ry King declare
His royal Sense, of Op'ra's or the Fair;
315 The Stews and Palace equally explor'd,
Intrigu'd with glory, and with spirit whor'd;
Try'd all hors-d'œuvres, all liqueurs defin'd,
Judicious drank, and greatly-daring din'd;[R 89]
Dropt the dull lumber of the Latin store,
320 Spoil'd his own language, and acquir'd no more;
All Classic learning lost on Classic ground;
And last turn'd Air, the Echo of a Sound![R 90]
See now, half-cur'd, and perfectly well-bred,
With nothing but a Solo in his head;[R 91]
325 As much Estate, and Principle, and Wit,
As Jansen, Fleetwood, Cibber[R 92] shall think fit;
Stol'n from a Duel, follow'd by a Nun,
And, if a Borough chuse him, not undone;
See, to my country happy I restore
330 This glorious Youth, and add one Venus more.
Her too receive (for her my soul adores)[R 93]
So may the sons of sons of sons of whores,[R 94][R 95]
Prop thine, O Empress! like each neighbour Throne,
And make a long Posterity thy own.
335 Pleas'd, she accepts the Hero, and the Dame,
Wraps in her Veil, and frees from sense of Shame.
Then look'd, and saw a lazy, lolling sort,
Unseen at Church, at Senate, or at Court,
Of ever-listless Loit'rers, that attend
340 No Cause, no Trust, no Duty, and no Friend.
Thee too, my Paridel![R 96] she mark'd thee there,
Stretch'd on the rack of a too easy chair,
And heard thy everlasting yawn confess[R 97]
The Pains and Penalties of Idleness.
345 She pity'd! but her Pity only shed
Benigner influence on thy nodding head.
But Annius,[R 98] crafty Seer, with ebon wand,
And well dissembled em'rald on his hand,
False as his Gems, and canker'd as his Coins,
350 Came, cramm'd with capon, from where Pollio dines.
Soft, as the wily Fox is seen to creep,
Where bask on sunny banks the simple sheep,
Walk round and round, now prying here, now there;
So he, but pious, whisper'd first his pray'r.
355 Grant, gracious Goddess![R 99] grant me still to cheat,[R 100]
O may thy cloud still cover the deceit!
Thy choicer mists on this assembly shed,
But pour them thickest on the noble head.
So shall each youth, assisted by our eyes,
360 See other Cæsars, other Homers rise;
Thro' twilight ages hunt th' Athenian fowl,[R 101]
Which Chalcis Gods, and mortals call an owl,
Now see an Attys, now a Cecrops[R 102] clear,
Nay, Mahomet! the Pigeon at thine ear;
365 Be rich in ancient brass, tho' not in gold,
And keep his Lares, tho' his house be sold;
To headless Phoebe his fair bride postpone,
Honour a Syrian Prince above his own;
Lord of an Otho, if I vouch it true;
370 Blest in one Niger, till he knows of two.
Mummius[R 103] o'erheard him; Mummius, Fool-renown'd,
Who like his Cheops[R 104] stinks above the ground,
Fierce as a startled Adder, swell'd, and said,
Rattling an ancient Sistrum at his head.
375 Speak'st thou of Syrian Princes? Traitor base![R 105]
Mine, Goddess! mine is all the horned race.
True, he had wit, to make their value rise;
From foolish Greeks to steal them, was as wise;
More glorious yet, from barb'rous hands to keep,
380 When Sallee Rovers chac'd him on the deep.
Then taught by Hermes, and divinely bold,
Down his own throat he risqu'd the Grecian gold;
Receiv'd each Demi-God[R 106], with pious care,
Deep in his Entrails—I rever'd them there,
385 I bought them, shrouded in that living shrine,
And, at their second birth, they issue mine.
Witness great Ammon![R 107] by whose horns I swore,
(Reply'd soft Annius) this our paunch before
Still bears them, faithful; and that thus I eat,
390 Is to refund the Medals with the meat.
To prove me, Goddess! clear of all design,
Bid me with Pollio sup, as well as dine:
There all the Learn'd shall at the labour stand,
And Douglas[R 108] lend his soft, obstetric hand.
395 The Goddess smiling seem'd to give consent;
So back to Pollio, hand in hand, they went.
Then thick as Locusts black'ning all the ground,[R 109]
A tribe, with weeds and shells fantastic crown'd,
Each with some wond'rous gift approach'd the Pow'r,
400 A Nest, a Toad, a Fungus, or a Flow'r.
But far the foremost, two, with earnest zeal,
And aspect ardent to the Throne appeal.
The first thus open'd: Hearthy suppliant's call,
Great Queen, and common Mother of us all!
405 Fair from its humble bed I rear'd this Flow'r,
Suckled, and chear'd, with air, and sun, and show'r,
Soft on the paper ruff its leaves I spread,
Bright with the gilded button tipt its head,
Then thron'd in glass, and nam'd it Caroline:[R 110]
410 Each Maid cry'd, charming! and each Youth, divine![I 4]
Did Nature's pencil ever blend such rays,
Such vary'd light in one promiscuous blaze?
Now prostrate! dead! behold that Caroline:
No Maid cries, charming! and no Youth, divine!
415 And lo the wretch! whose vile, whose insect lust
Lay'd this gay daughter of the Spring in dust.
Oh punish him, or to th' Elysian shades
Dismiss my soul, where no Carnation fades.
He ceas'd, and wept. With innocence of mien,
420 Th' Accus'd stood forth, and thus address'd the Queen.
Of all th' enamel'd race,[I 5] whose silv'ry wing
Waves to the tepid Zephyrs of the spring,
Or swims along the fluid atmosphere,
Once brightest shin'd this child of Heat and Air.
425 I saw, and started from its vernal bow'r
The rising game, and chac'd from flow'r to flow'r,
It fled, I follow'd; now in hope, now pain;
It stopt, I stopt; it mov'd, I mov'd again.[I 6]
At last it fix'd, 'twas on what plant it pleas'd,
430 And where it fix'd, the beauteous bird I seiz'd:
Rose or Carnation was below my care;
I meddle, Goddess! only in my sphere.
I tell the naked fact without disguise,
And, to excuse it, need but shew the prize;
435 Whose spoils this paper offers to your eye,
Fair ev'n in death! this peerless Butterfly.
My sons! (she answer'd) both have done your parts:
Live happy both, and long promote our arts.
But hear a Mother, when she recommends
440 To your fraternal care, our sleeping friends.[R 111]
The common Soul, of Heav'n's more frugal make,
Serves but to keep fools pert, and knaves awake:
A drowzy Watchman, that just gives a knock,
And breaks our rest, to tell us what's a clock.
445 Yet by some object ev'ry brain is stirr'd;
The dull may waken to a Humming-bird;
The most recluse, discreetly open'd, find
Congenial matter in the Cockle-kind;
The mind, in Metaphysics at a loss,
450 May wander in a wilderness of Moss;[R 112]
The head that turns at super-lunar things,
Poiz'd with a tail, may steer on Wilkins' wings.[R 113]
O! would the Sons of Men once think their Eyes[R 114]
And Reason giv'n them but to study Flies!
455 See Nature in some partial narrow shape,
And let the Author of the Whole escape:
Learn but to trifle; or, who most observe,
To wonder at their Maker, not to serve.
Be that my task (replies a gloomy Clerk,[R 115]
460 Sworn foe to Myst'ry, yet divinely dark;
Whose pious hope aspires to see the day
When Moral Evidence shall quite decay,[R 116]
And damns implicit faith, and holy lies,
Prompt to impose, and fond to dogmatize:)
465 Let others creep by timid steps, and slow,[R 117]
On plain Experience lay foundations low,
By common sense to common knowledge bred,
And last, to Nature's Cause thro' Nature led.
All-seeing in thy mists, we want no guide,
470 Mother of Arrogance, and Source of Pride!
We nobly take the high Priori Road,[R 118]
And reason downward, till we doubt of God:[R 119]
Make Nature still[R 120] incroach upon his plan;
And shove him off as far as e'er we can:
475 Thrust some Mechanic Cause into his place;
Or bind in Matter, or diffuse in Space.[R 121]
Or, at one bound o'er-leaping all his laws,[R 122]
Make God Man's Image, Man the final Cause,
Find Virtue local, all Relation scorn,
480 See all in Self,[R 123] and but for self be born:
Of nought so certain as our Reason still,[R 124]
Of nought so doubtful as of Soul and Will.
Oh hide the God still more! and make us see
Such as Lucretius drew,[R 125] a God like Thee:
485 Wrapt up in Self, a God without a Thought,
Regardless of our merit or default.
Or that bright Image[R 126] to our fancy draw,
Which Theocles in raptur'd vision saw,[R 127]
While thro' Poetic scenes the Genius roves,
490 Or wanders wild in Academic Groves;[R 128]
That Nature our Society adores,
Where Tindal dictates, and Silenus[R 129] snores.
Rous'd at his name, up rose the bowzy Sire,
And shook from out his Pipe the seeds of fire;[R 130]
495 Then snapt his box, and strok'd his belly down:
Rosy and rev'rend, tho' without a Gown.
Bland and familiar to the throne he came,
Led up the Youth, and call'd the Goddess Dame.
Then thus. From Priest-craft happily set free,
500 Lo! ev'ry finish'd Son returns to thee:[R 131]
First slave to Words,[R 132] then vassal to a Name,
Then dupe to Party; child and man the same;
Bounded by Nature, narrow'd still by Art,
A trifling head, and a contracted heart.
505 Thus bred, thus taught, how many have I seen,
Smiling on all, and smil'd on by a Queen.
Mark'd out for Honours, honour'd for their Birth,
To thee the most rebellious things on earth:
Now to thy gentle shadow all are shrunk,
510 All melted down, in Pension, or in Punk!
So K* so B** sneak'd into the grave,
A Monarch's half, and half a Harlot's slave.
Poor W** nipt in Folly's broadest bloom,
Who praises now? his Chaplain on his Tomb.
515 Then take them all, oh take them to thy breast!
Thy Magus, Goddess! shall perform the rest.
With that, a Wizard old[R 133] his Cup extends;
Which whoso tastes,[R 134] forgets his former friends,[I 7]
Sire, Ancestors, Himself. One casts his eyes
520 Up to a Star, and like Endymion dies:
A Feather shooting from another's head,
Extracts his brain, and Principle is fled,
Lost is his God,[R 135] his Country, ev'ry thing;
And nothing left but Homage to a King!
525 The vulgar herd turn off to roll with Hogs,
To run with Horses, or to hunt with Dogs;
But, sad example! never to escape
Their Infamy, still keep the human shape.[R 136]
But she, good Goddess, sent to ev'ry child[R 137]
530 Firm Impudence, or Stupefaction mild;
And strait succeeded, leaving shame no room,
Cibberian forehead, or Cimmerian gloom.
Kind Self-conceit to some her glass applies,
Which no one looks in with another's eyes:
534 But as the Flatt'rer or Dependant paint,
Beholds himself a Patriot, Chief, or Saint.
On others Int'rest her gay liv'ry flings,
Int'rest, that waves on Party-colour'd wings:
Turn'd to the Sun, she casts a thousand dyes,
540 And, as she turns, the colours fall or rise.
Others the Syren Sisters warble round,
And empty heads console with empty sound.
No more, alas! the voice of Fame they hear,
The balm of Dulness[R 138] trickling in their ear.
545 Great C**, H** ,P**, R**, K*,
Why all your Toils? your Sons have learn'd to sing.
How quick Ambition hastes to ridicule!
The Sire is made a Peer, the Son a Fool.
On some, a Priest succinct in amice white
550 Attends; all flesh is nothing in his fight!
Beeves, at his touch, at once to jelly turn,
And the huge Boar is shrunk into an Urn:
The board with specious miracles he loads,[R 139]
Turns Hares to Larks, and Pigeons into Toads.
555 Another (for in all what one can shine?[R 140])
Explains the Seve and Verdeur[R 141] of the Vine.
What cannot copious Sacrifice attone?
Thy Treufles, Perigord! thy Hams, Bayonne!
With French Libation, and Italian Strain,
560 Wash Bladen white, and expiate Hays's stain.[R 142][R 143]
Knight lifts the head, for what are crowds undone
To three essential Partriges in one?[R 144]
Gone ev'ry blush, and silent all reproach,
Contending Princes mount them in their Coach.
565 Next bidding all draw near on bended knees,
The Queen confers her Titles and Degrees.
Her children first of more distinguish'd sort,
Who study Shakespeare at the Inns of Court,
Impale a Glow-worm, or Vertù profess,
570 Shine in the dignity of F. R. S.
Some, deep Free-Masons, join the silent race[R 145]
Worthy to fill Pythagoras's place:
Some Botanists, or Florists at the least,
Or issue Members of an Annual feast.
575 Nor past the meanest unregarded, one
Rose a Gregorian, one a Gormogon.[R 146]
The last, not least in honour or applause,
Isis and Cam made Doctors of her Laws.
Then blessing all, Go Children of my care!
580 To Practice now from Theory repair.
All my commands are easy, short, and full:
My Sons! be proud, be selfish, and be dull.[R 147]
Guard my Prerogative, assert my Throne:
This Nod confirms each Privilege your own.[R 148]
585 The Cap and Switch be sacred to his Grace;
With Staff and Pumps the Marquis lead the Race;
From Stage to Stage the licens'd Earl may run,
Pair'd with his Fellow-Charioteer the Sun;
The learned Baron Butterflies design,
590 Or draw to silk Arachne's subtile line;[R 149]
The Judge to dance his brother Sergeant call;[R 150]
The Senator at Cricket urge the Ball;
The Bishop stow (Pontific Luxury!)
An hundred Souls of Turkeys in a pye;
595 The sturdy Squire to Gallic masters stoop,
And drown his Lands and Manors in a Soupe.
Others import yet nobler arts from France,
Teach Kings to fiddle,[R 151] and make Senates dance.
Perhaps more high some daring son may soar,
600 Proud to my list to add one Monarch more;
And nobly conscious, Princes are but things
Born for First Ministers, as Slaves for Kings,
Tyrant supreme! shall three Estates command,
And make one Mighty Dunciad of the Land!
605 More she had spoke, but yawn'd— All Nature nods:
What Mortal can resist the Yawn of Gods?[R 152]
Churches and Chapels instantly it reach'd;[R 153]
(St. James's first, for leaden[R 154] Gilbert preach'd)
Then catch'd the Schools; the Hall scarce kept awake;
610 The Convocation gap'd, but could not speak:[R 155]
Lost was the Nation's Sense, nor could be found,
While the long solemn Unison went round:
Wide, and more wide, it spread o'er all the realm;
Ev'n Palinurus nodded at the Helm:
615 The Vapour mild o'er each Committee crept;
Unfinish'd Treaties in each Office slept;
And Chiefless Armies doz'd out the Campaign;
And Navies yawn'd for Orders on the Main.[R 156]
O Muse! relate (for you can tell alone,
620 Wits have short Memories,[R 157] and Dunces none)
Relate, who first, who last resign'd to rest;
Whose Heads she partly, whose completely blest;
What Charms could Faction, what Ambition lull,
The Venal quiet, and intrance the Dull;[R 158]
625 'Till drown'd was Sense, and Shame, and Right, and Wrong—
O sing, and hush the Nations with thy Song!
******
In vain, in vain,–the all-composing Hour
Resistless falls: The Muse obeys the Pow'r.
She comes! she comes! the sable Throne behold[R 159]
630 Of Night Primæval, and of Chaos old!
Before her, Fancy's gilded clouds decay,
And all its varying Rain-bows die away.
Wit shoots in vain its momentary fires,
The meteor drops, and in a flash expires.
635 As one by one, at dread Medea's strain,
The sick'ning stars fade off th'ethereal plain;
As Argus' eyes by Hermes' wand opprest,[I 8]
Clos'd one by one to everlasting rest;
Thus at her felt approach, and secret might,
640 Art after Art goes out, and all is Night.
See skulking Truth to her old Cavern fled,[R 160]
Mountains of Casuistry heap'd o'er her head!
Philosophy, that lean'd on Heav'n before,[R 161]
Shrinks to her second cause, and is no more.
645 Physic of Metaphysic begs defence,
And Metaphysic calls for aid on Sense![R 162]
See Mystery to Mathematics fly![R 163]
In vain! they gaze, turn giddy, rave, and die.
Religion blushing veils her sacred fires,[R 164]
650 And unawares Morality expires,[R 165]
Nor public Flame, nor private, dares to shine;
Nor human Spark is left, nor Glimpse divine!
Lo! thy dread Empire, Chaos! is restor’d;
Light dies before thy uncreating word:
655 Thy hand, great Anarch! lets the curtain fall;
And Universal Darkness buries All.
Indulge, dread Chaos, and eternal Night![R 3]
Of darkness visible so much be lent,
As half to shew, half veil the deep Intent.[R 4]
5 Ye Pow'rs! whose Mysteries restor'd I sing,
To whom Time bears me on his rapid wing,[R 5]
Suspend a while your Force inertly strong,[R 6]
Then take at once the Poet and the Song.
Now flam'd the Dog-star's unpropitious ray,
10 Smote ev'ry Brain, and wither'd ev'ry Bay;
Sick was the Sun, the Owl forsook his bow'r,
The moon-struck Prophet[R 7] felt the madding hour:
Then rose the Seed of Chaos, and of Night,
To blot out Order, and extinguish Light,[R 8]
15 Of dull and venal[R 9] a new World[R 10] to mold,
And bring Saturnian days of Lead and Gold.[R 11]
She mounts the Throne: her head a Cloud conceal'd,
In broad Effulgence all below reveal'd,[R 12]
('Tis thus aspiring Dulness ever shines)
20 Soft on her lap her Laureat son reclines.[R 13][R 14]
Beneath her foot-stool, Science groans in Chains,
And Wit dreads Exile, Penalties and Pains.[R 15]
There foam'd rebellious Logic, gagg'd and bound,
There, stript, fair Rhet'ric languish'd on the ground;
25 His blunted Arms by Sophisory are born,
And shameless Billingsgate her Robes adorn.
Morality, by her false Guardians drawn,[R 16]
Chicane in Furs, and Casuistry in Lawn,
Gasps, as they straiten at each end the cord,
30 And dies, when Dulness gives her Page the word.[R 17]
Mad Mathesis,[R 18] alone was unconfin'd,
Too mad for mere material chains to bind,
Now to pure Space[R 19] lifts her extatic stare,
Now running round the Circle, finds it square.[R 20]
35 But held in ten-fold bonds the Muses lie,
Watch'd both by Envy's and by Flatt'ry's eye:[R 21]
There to her heart sad Tragedy addrest
The dagger wont to pierce the Tyrant's breast;
But sober History[R 22] restrain'd her rage,
40 And promis'd Vengeance on a barb'rous age.
There sunk Thalia, nerveless, cold, and dead,
Had not her Sister Satyr held her head:
Nor cou'd'st thou, Chesterfield! a tear refuse,[R 23]
Thou wept'st, and with thee wept each gentle Muse.
45 When lo! a Harlot form soft sliding by,[R 24]
With mincing step, small voice, and languid eye;
Foreign her air, her robe's discordant pride
In patch-work flutt'ring, and her head aside:
By singing Peers up-held on either hand,
50 She tripp'd and laugh'd, too pretty much to stand;
Cast on the prostrate Nine a scornful look,
Then thus in quaint Recitativo spoke.
O Cara! Cara! silence all that train:
Joy to great Chaos! let Division reign:[R 25]
55 Chromatic tortures soon shall drive them hence,[R 26]
Break all their nerves, and fritter all their sense:
One Trill shall harmonize joy, grief, and rage,
Wake the dull Church, and lull the ranting Stage;
To the same notes thy sons shall hum, or snore,
60 And all thy yawning daughters cry, encore.
Another Phœbus, thy own Phœbus, reigns,[R 27]
Joys in my jiggs, and dances in my chains.
But soon, ah soon Rebellion will commence,
If Music meanly borrows aid from Sense:
65 Strong in new Arms, lo! Giant Handel stands,
Like bold Briareus, with a hundred hands;
To stir, to rouze, to shake the Soul he comes,
And Jove's own Thunders follow Mars's Drums.
Arrest him, Empress; or you sleep no more—
70 She heard, and drove him to th' Hibernian shore.
And now had Fame's posterior Trumpet[R 28] blown,
And all the Nations summon'd to the Throne.
The young, the old, who feel her inward sway,
One instinct seizes, and transports away.
75 None need a guide,[R 29] by sure Attraction led,
And strong impulsive gravity of Head:[R 30]
None want a place, for all their Centre found,
Hung to the Goddess, and coher'd around.
Not closer, orb in orb, conglob'd are seen
80 The buzzing Bees about their dusky Queen.
The gath'ring number, as it moves along,
Involves a vast involuntary throng,
Who gently drawn, and struggling less and less,
Roll in her Vortex, and her pow'r confess.
85 Not those alone who passive own her laws,
But who, weak rebels, more advance her cause.
Whate'er of dunce in College or in Town
Sneers at another, in toupee or gown;
Whate'er of mungril no one class admits,
90 A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits.
Nor absent they, no members of her state,
Who pay her homage in her sons, the Great;
Who false to Phœbus,[R 31] bow the knee to Baal;
Or impious, preach his Word without a call.
95 Patrons, who sneak from living worth to dead,
With-hold the pension, and set up the head;
Or vest dull Flatt'ry in the sacred Gown;
Or give from fool to fool the Laurel crown.
And (last and worst) with all the cant of wit,
100 Without the soul, the Muse's Hypocrit.[R 32]
There march'd the bard and blockhead, side by side,
Who rhym'd for hire, and patroniz'd for pride.
Narcissus, prais'd with all a Parson's pow'r,
Look'd a white lilly sunk beneath a show'r
105 There mov'd Montalto with superior air;
His stretch'd-out arm display'd a Volume fair;
Courtiers and Patriots in two ranks divide,
Thro' both he pass'd, and bow'd from side to side:
But as in graceful act, with awful eye
110 Compos'd he stood, bold Benson[R 33] thrust him by:
On two unequal crutches propt he came,
Milton's on this, on that one Johnston's name.
The decent Knight[R 34] retir'd with sober rage,
Withdrew his hand, and clos'd the pompous page.
*********
*********
*********
*********
When Dulness, smiling—"Thus revive the Wits![R 35]
120 But murder first, and mince them all to bits;
As erst Medea (cruel, so to save!)
A new Edition of old Æson[R 36] gave,
Let standard-Authors, thus, like trophies born,
Appear more glorious as more hack'd and torn,
125 And you, my Critics! in the chequer'd shade,
Admire new light thro' holes yourselves have made.
Leave not a foot of verse, a foot of stone,
A Page, a Grave,[R 37][R 38] that they can call their own;
But spread, my sons, your glory thin or thick,
130 On passive paper, or on solid brick.
So by each Bard an Alderman shall sit,[R 39]
A heavy Lord shall hang at ev'ry Wit,
And while on Fame's triumphal Car they ride,
Some Slave of mine be pinion'd to their side.
135 Now crowds on crowds around the Goddess press,
Each eager to present the first Address.
Dunce scorning Dunce beholds the next advance,
But Fop shews Fop superior complaisance.[R 40]
When lo! a Spectre rose, whose index-hand
140 Held forth the Virtue of the dreadful wand;[R 41]
His beaver'd brow a birchen garland wears,
Dropping with Infant's blood, and Mother's tears.
O'er ev'ry vein a shudd'ring horror runs;
Eton and Winton shake thro' all their Sons.
145 All Flesh is humbled, Westminster's bold race
Shrink, and confess the Genius of the place:
The pale Boy-Senator yet tingling stands,
And holds his breeches[R 42] close with both his hands.
Then thus. Since Man from beast by Words is known,
150 Words are Man's province, Words we teach alone.
When Reason doubtful, like the Samian letter,[R 43]
Points him two ways, the narrower is the better.
Plac'd at the door of Learning, youth to guide,[R 44]
We never suffer it to stand too wide.
155 To ask, to guess, to know, as they commence,
As Fancy opens the quick springs of Sense,
We ply the Memory, we load the brain,
Bind rebel Wit, and double chain on chain,
Confine the thought, to exercise the breath;[R 45]
160 And keep them in the pale of Words till death.
Whate'er the talents, or howe'er design'd,
We hang one jingling padlock on the mind:[R 46]
A Poet the first day, he dips his quill;
And what the last? a very Poet still.
165 Pity! the charm works only in our wall,
Lost, lost too soon in yonder House or Hall.[R 47]
There truant Wyndham ev'ry Muse gave o'er,
There Talbot sunk, and was a Wit no more!
How sweet an Ovid, Murray was our boast!
170 How many Martials were in Pult'ney lost!
Else sure some Bard, to our eternal praise,
In twice ten thousand rhyming nights and days,
Had reach'd the Work, the All that mortal can;
And South beheld that Master-piece of Man.[R 48]
175 Oh (cry'd the Goddess) for some pedant Reign![R 49]
Some gentle James, to bless the land again;[R 50]
To stick the Doctor's Chair into the Throne,
Give law to Words, or war with Words alone,
Senates and Courts with Greek and Latin rule,
180 And turn the Council to a Grammar School!
For sure, if Dulness sees a grateful Day,
'Tis in the shade of Arbitrary Sway.[R 51]
O! if my sons may learn one earthly thing,
Teach but that one, sufficient for a King;
185 That which my Priests, and mine alone, maintain,
Which as it dies, or lives, we fill, or reign:
May you, may Cam, and Isis preach it long!
"The Right Divine of Kings to govern wrong."
Prompt at the call, around the Goddess roll
190 Broad hats, and hoods, and caps, a sable shoal:
Thick and more thick the black blockade extends,
A hundred head of Aristotle's friends.[R 52][R 53]
Nor wert thou, Isis! wanting to the day,
[Tho' Christ-church[R 54] long kept prudishly away.]
195 Each staunch Polemic, stubborn as a rock,
Each fierce Logician, still expelling Locke,[R 55]
Came whip and spur, and dash'd thro' thin and thick
On German Crouzaz, and Dutch Burgersdyck.[R 56]
As many quit the streams[R 57] that murm'ring fall
200 To lull the sons of Marg'ret and Clare-hall,
Where Bentley late tempestuous wont to sport
In troubled waters, but now sleeps in Port.[R 58]
Before them march'd that awful Aristarch;
Plow'd was his front with many a deep Remark:
205 His Hat, which never vail'd to human pride,[R 59]
Walker with rev'rence took, and lay'd aside.
Low bow'd the rest: He, kingly, did but nod;[I 1]
So upright Quakers please both Man and God.
Mistress! dismiss that rabble from your throne:
210 Avaunt———is Aristarchus[R 60] yet unknown?[I 2]
Thy mighty Scholiast, whose unweary'd pains
Made Horace dull, and humbled Milton's strains.
Turn what they will to Verse, their toil is vain,
Critics like me shall make it Prose again.
215 Roman and Greek Grammarians! know your Better:[I 3]
Author of something yet more great than Letter;
While tow'ring o'er your Alphabet, like Saul,
Stands our Digamma, and o'er-tops them all.[R 61]
'Tis true, on Words is still our whole debate,
220 Disputes of Me or Te,[R 62] of aut or at,
To sound or sink in cano, O or A,
Or give up Cicero to C or K.[R 63]
Let Freind affect to speak as Terence spoke,
And Alsop never but like Horace joke:[R 64]
225 For me, what Virgil, Pliny may deny,
Manilius or Solinus[R 65] shall supply:
For Attic Phrase in Plato let them seek,
I poach in Suidas for unlicens'd Greek.[R 66]
In ancient Sense if any needs will deal,
230 Be sure I give them Fragments, not a Meal;
What Gellius or Stobæus hash'd before,
Or chew'd by blind old Scholiasts o'er and o'er.[R 67]
The critic Eye, that microscope of Wit,
Sees hairs and pores, examines bit by bit:
235 How parts relate to parts, or they to whole,
The body's harmony, the beaming soul,
Are things which Kuster, Burman, Wasse shall see,
When Man's whole frame is obvious to a Flea.
Ah, think not, Mistress! more true Dulness lies
240 In Folly's Cap, than Wisdom's grave disguise.[R 68]
Like buoys, that never sink into the flood,
On Learning's surface we but lie and nod.[R 69]
Thine is the genuine head of many a house,
And much Divinity without a Νοῦς.[R 70]
245 Nor could a Barrow work on ev'ry block,
Nor has one Atterbury spoil'd the flock.[R 71]
See! still thy own, the heavy Canon[R 72] roll,
And Metaphysic smokes involve the Pole.[R 73]
For thee we dim the eyes, and stuff the head
250 With all such reading as was never read:
For thee explain a thing till all men doubt it,
And write about it, Goddess, and about it:
So spins the silk-worm small its slender store,
And labours till it clouds itself all o'er.
255 What tho' we let some better sort of fool[R 74]
Thrid ev'ry science, run thro' ev'ry school?
Never by tumbler thro' the hoops was shown
Such skill in passing all, and touching none.
He may indeed (if sober all this time)
260 Plague with Dispute, or persecute with Rhyme.
We only furnish what he cannot use,
Or wed to what he must divorce, a Muse:
Full in the midst of Euclid dip at once,
And petrify a Genius[R 75] to a Dunce:
265 Or set on Metaphysic ground to prance,
Show all his paces, not a step advance.
With the same Cement, ever sure to bind,
We bring to one dead level ev'ry mind.
Then take him to devellop, if you can,
270 And hew the Block off,[R 76] and get out the Man.
But wherefore waste I words? I see advance
Whore, Pupil, and lac'd Governor[R 77][R 78] from France.
Walker! our hat—nor more he deign'd to say,
But, stern as Ajax' spectre,[R 79] strode away.
275 In flow'd at once a gay embroider'd race,
And titt'ring push'd the Pedants off the place:[R 80]
Some would have spoken, but the voice was drown'd
By the French horn, or by the op'ning hound.
The first came forwards, with as easy mien,[R 81]
280 As if he saw St. James's[R 82] and the Queen.
When thus th'attendant Orator[R 83] begun.
Receive, great Empress! thy accomplish'd Son:
Thine from the birth, and sacred from the rod,
A dauntless infant! never scar'd with God.[R 84]
285 The Sire saw, one by one, his Virtues wake:
The Mother begg'd the blessing of a Rake.
Thou gav'st that Ripeness, which so soon began,
And ceas'd so soon, he ne'er was Boy, nor Man.[R 85]
Thro' School and College, thy kind cloud o'ercast,
290 Safe and unseen the young Æneas past:
Thence bursting glorious,[R 86] all at once let down,
Stunn'd with his giddy Larum half the town.
Intrepid then, o'er seas and lands he flew:
Europe he saw, and Europe saw him too.
295 There all thy gifts and graces we display,
Thou, only thou, directing all our way!
To where the Seine, obsequious as she runs,
Pours at great Bourbon's feet her silken sons;
Or Tyber, now no longer Roman, rolls,
300 Vain of Italian Arts, Italian Souls:
To happy Convents, bosom'd deep in vines,
Where slumber Abbots, purple as their wines:
To Isles of fragrance, lilly-silver'd vales,[R 87]
Diffusing languor in the panting gales:
305 To lands of singing, or of dancing slaves,
Love-whisp'ring woods, and lute-resounding waves.
But chief her shrine where naked Venus keeps,
And Cupids ride the Lyon of the Deeps;[R 88]
Where, eas'd of Fleets, the Adriatic main
310 Wafts the smooth Eunuch and enamour'd swain.
Led by my hand, he saunter'd Europe round,
And gather'd ev'ry Vice on Christian ground;
Saw ev'ry Court, hear'd ev'ry King declare
His royal Sense, of Op'ra's or the Fair;
315 The Stews and Palace equally explor'd,
Intrigu'd with glory, and with spirit whor'd;
Try'd all hors-d'œuvres, all liqueurs defin'd,
Judicious drank, and greatly-daring din'd;[R 89]
Dropt the dull lumber of the Latin store,
320 Spoil'd his own language, and acquir'd no more;
All Classic learning lost on Classic ground;
And last turn'd Air, the Echo of a Sound![R 90]
See now, half-cur'd, and perfectly well-bred,
With nothing but a Solo in his head;[R 91]
325 As much Estate, and Principle, and Wit,
As Jansen, Fleetwood, Cibber[R 92] shall think fit;
Stol'n from a Duel, follow'd by a Nun,
And, if a Borough chuse him, not undone;
See, to my country happy I restore
330 This glorious Youth, and add one Venus more.
Her too receive (for her my soul adores)[R 93]
So may the sons of sons of sons of whores,[R 94][R 95]
Prop thine, O Empress! like each neighbour Throne,
And make a long Posterity thy own.
335 Pleas'd, she accepts the Hero, and the Dame,
Wraps in her Veil, and frees from sense of Shame.
Then look'd, and saw a lazy, lolling sort,
Unseen at Church, at Senate, or at Court,
Of ever-listless Loit'rers, that attend
340 No Cause, no Trust, no Duty, and no Friend.
Thee too, my Paridel![R 96] she mark'd thee there,
Stretch'd on the rack of a too easy chair,
And heard thy everlasting yawn confess[R 97]
The Pains and Penalties of Idleness.
345 She pity'd! but her Pity only shed
Benigner influence on thy nodding head.
But Annius,[R 98] crafty Seer, with ebon wand,
And well dissembled em'rald on his hand,
False as his Gems, and canker'd as his Coins,
350 Came, cramm'd with capon, from where Pollio dines.
Soft, as the wily Fox is seen to creep,
Where bask on sunny banks the simple sheep,
Walk round and round, now prying here, now there;
So he, but pious, whisper'd first his pray'r.
355 Grant, gracious Goddess![R 99] grant me still to cheat,[R 100]
O may thy cloud still cover the deceit!
Thy choicer mists on this assembly shed,
But pour them thickest on the noble head.
So shall each youth, assisted by our eyes,
360 See other Cæsars, other Homers rise;
Thro' twilight ages hunt th' Athenian fowl,[R 101]
Which Chalcis Gods, and mortals call an owl,
Now see an Attys, now a Cecrops[R 102] clear,
Nay, Mahomet! the Pigeon at thine ear;
365 Be rich in ancient brass, tho' not in gold,
And keep his Lares, tho' his house be sold;
To headless Phoebe his fair bride postpone,
Honour a Syrian Prince above his own;
Lord of an Otho, if I vouch it true;
370 Blest in one Niger, till he knows of two.
Mummius[R 103] o'erheard him; Mummius, Fool-renown'd,
Who like his Cheops[R 104] stinks above the ground,
Fierce as a startled Adder, swell'd, and said,
Rattling an ancient Sistrum at his head.
375 Speak'st thou of Syrian Princes? Traitor base![R 105]
Mine, Goddess! mine is all the horned race.
True, he had wit, to make their value rise;
From foolish Greeks to steal them, was as wise;
More glorious yet, from barb'rous hands to keep,
380 When Sallee Rovers chac'd him on the deep.
Then taught by Hermes, and divinely bold,
Down his own throat he risqu'd the Grecian gold;
Receiv'd each Demi-God[R 106], with pious care,
Deep in his Entrails—I rever'd them there,
385 I bought them, shrouded in that living shrine,
And, at their second birth, they issue mine.
Witness great Ammon![R 107] by whose horns I swore,
(Reply'd soft Annius) this our paunch before
Still bears them, faithful; and that thus I eat,
390 Is to refund the Medals with the meat.
To prove me, Goddess! clear of all design,
Bid me with Pollio sup, as well as dine:
There all the Learn'd shall at the labour stand,
And Douglas[R 108] lend his soft, obstetric hand.
395 The Goddess smiling seem'd to give consent;
So back to Pollio, hand in hand, they went.
Then thick as Locusts black'ning all the ground,[R 109]
A tribe, with weeds and shells fantastic crown'd,
Each with some wond'rous gift approach'd the Pow'r,
400 A Nest, a Toad, a Fungus, or a Flow'r.
But far the foremost, two, with earnest zeal,
And aspect ardent to the Throne appeal.
The first thus open'd: Hearthy suppliant's call,
Great Queen, and common Mother of us all!
405 Fair from its humble bed I rear'd this Flow'r,
Suckled, and chear'd, with air, and sun, and show'r,
Soft on the paper ruff its leaves I spread,
Bright with the gilded button tipt its head,
Then thron'd in glass, and nam'd it Caroline:[R 110]
410 Each Maid cry'd, charming! and each Youth, divine![I 4]
Did Nature's pencil ever blend such rays,
Such vary'd light in one promiscuous blaze?
Now prostrate! dead! behold that Caroline:
No Maid cries, charming! and no Youth, divine!
415 And lo the wretch! whose vile, whose insect lust
Lay'd this gay daughter of the Spring in dust.
Oh punish him, or to th' Elysian shades
Dismiss my soul, where no Carnation fades.
He ceas'd, and wept. With innocence of mien,
420 Th' Accus'd stood forth, and thus address'd the Queen.
Of all th' enamel'd race,[I 5] whose silv'ry wing
Waves to the tepid Zephyrs of the spring,
Or swims along the fluid atmosphere,
Once brightest shin'd this child of Heat and Air.
425 I saw, and started from its vernal bow'r
The rising game, and chac'd from flow'r to flow'r,
It fled, I follow'd; now in hope, now pain;
It stopt, I stopt; it mov'd, I mov'd again.[I 6]
At last it fix'd, 'twas on what plant it pleas'd,
430 And where it fix'd, the beauteous bird I seiz'd:
Rose or Carnation was below my care;
I meddle, Goddess! only in my sphere.
I tell the naked fact without disguise,
And, to excuse it, need but shew the prize;
435 Whose spoils this paper offers to your eye,
Fair ev'n in death! this peerless Butterfly.
My sons! (she answer'd) both have done your parts:
Live happy both, and long promote our arts.
But hear a Mother, when she recommends
440 To your fraternal care, our sleeping friends.[R 111]
The common Soul, of Heav'n's more frugal make,
Serves but to keep fools pert, and knaves awake:
A drowzy Watchman, that just gives a knock,
And breaks our rest, to tell us what's a clock.
445 Yet by some object ev'ry brain is stirr'd;
The dull may waken to a Humming-bird;
The most recluse, discreetly open'd, find
Congenial matter in the Cockle-kind;
The mind, in Metaphysics at a loss,
450 May wander in a wilderness of Moss;[R 112]
The head that turns at super-lunar things,
Poiz'd with a tail, may steer on Wilkins' wings.[R 113]
O! would the Sons of Men once think their Eyes[R 114]
And Reason giv'n them but to study Flies!
455 See Nature in some partial narrow shape,
And let the Author of the Whole escape:
Learn but to trifle; or, who most observe,
To wonder at their Maker, not to serve.
Be that my task (replies a gloomy Clerk,[R 115]
460 Sworn foe to Myst'ry, yet divinely dark;
Whose pious hope aspires to see the day
When Moral Evidence shall quite decay,[R 116]
And damns implicit faith, and holy lies,
Prompt to impose, and fond to dogmatize:)
465 Let others creep by timid steps, and slow,[R 117]
On plain Experience lay foundations low,
By common sense to common knowledge bred,
And last, to Nature's Cause thro' Nature led.
All-seeing in thy mists, we want no guide,
470 Mother of Arrogance, and Source of Pride!
We nobly take the high Priori Road,[R 118]
And reason downward, till we doubt of God:[R 119]
Make Nature still[R 120] incroach upon his plan;
And shove him off as far as e'er we can:
475 Thrust some Mechanic Cause into his place;
Or bind in Matter, or diffuse in Space.[R 121]
Or, at one bound o'er-leaping all his laws,[R 122]
Make God Man's Image, Man the final Cause,
Find Virtue local, all Relation scorn,
480 See all in Self,[R 123] and but for self be born:
Of nought so certain as our Reason still,[R 124]
Of nought so doubtful as of Soul and Will.
Oh hide the God still more! and make us see
Such as Lucretius drew,[R 125] a God like Thee:
485 Wrapt up in Self, a God without a Thought,
Regardless of our merit or default.
Or that bright Image[R 126] to our fancy draw,
Which Theocles in raptur'd vision saw,[R 127]
While thro' Poetic scenes the Genius roves,
490 Or wanders wild in Academic Groves;[R 128]
That Nature our Society adores,
Where Tindal dictates, and Silenus[R 129] snores.
Rous'd at his name, up rose the bowzy Sire,
And shook from out his Pipe the seeds of fire;[R 130]
495 Then snapt his box, and strok'd his belly down:
Rosy and rev'rend, tho' without a Gown.
Bland and familiar to the throne he came,
Led up the Youth, and call'd the Goddess Dame.
Then thus. From Priest-craft happily set free,
500 Lo! ev'ry finish'd Son returns to thee:[R 131]
First slave to Words,[R 132] then vassal to a Name,
Then dupe to Party; child and man the same;
Bounded by Nature, narrow'd still by Art,
A trifling head, and a contracted heart.
505 Thus bred, thus taught, how many have I seen,
Smiling on all, and smil'd on by a Queen.
Mark'd out for Honours, honour'd for their Birth,
To thee the most rebellious things on earth:
Now to thy gentle shadow all are shrunk,
510 All melted down, in Pension, or in Punk!
So K* so B** sneak'd into the grave,
A Monarch's half, and half a Harlot's slave.
Poor W** nipt in Folly's broadest bloom,
Who praises now? his Chaplain on his Tomb.
515 Then take them all, oh take them to thy breast!
Thy Magus, Goddess! shall perform the rest.
With that, a Wizard old[R 133] his Cup extends;
Which whoso tastes,[R 134] forgets his former friends,[I 7]
Sire, Ancestors, Himself. One casts his eyes
520 Up to a Star, and like Endymion dies:
A Feather shooting from another's head,
Extracts his brain, and Principle is fled,
Lost is his God,[R 135] his Country, ev'ry thing;
And nothing left but Homage to a King!
525 The vulgar herd turn off to roll with Hogs,
To run with Horses, or to hunt with Dogs;
But, sad example! never to escape
Their Infamy, still keep the human shape.[R 136]
But she, good Goddess, sent to ev'ry child[R 137]
530 Firm Impudence, or Stupefaction mild;
And strait succeeded, leaving shame no room,
Cibberian forehead, or Cimmerian gloom.
Kind Self-conceit to some her glass applies,
Which no one looks in with another's eyes:
534 But as the Flatt'rer or Dependant paint,
Beholds himself a Patriot, Chief, or Saint.
On others Int'rest her gay liv'ry flings,
Int'rest, that waves on Party-colour'd wings:
Turn'd to the Sun, she casts a thousand dyes,
540 And, as she turns, the colours fall or rise.
Others the Syren Sisters warble round,
And empty heads console with empty sound.
No more, alas! the voice of Fame they hear,
The balm of Dulness[R 138] trickling in their ear.
545 Great C**, H** ,P**, R**, K*,
Why all your Toils? your Sons have learn'd to sing.
How quick Ambition hastes to ridicule!
The Sire is made a Peer, the Son a Fool.
On some, a Priest succinct in amice white
550 Attends; all flesh is nothing in his fight!
Beeves, at his touch, at once to jelly turn,
And the huge Boar is shrunk into an Urn:
The board with specious miracles he loads,[R 139]
Turns Hares to Larks, and Pigeons into Toads.
555 Another (for in all what one can shine?[R 140])
Explains the Seve and Verdeur[R 141] of the Vine.
What cannot copious Sacrifice attone?
Thy Treufles, Perigord! thy Hams, Bayonne!
With French Libation, and Italian Strain,
560 Wash Bladen white, and expiate Hays's stain.[R 142][R 143]
Knight lifts the head, for what are crowds undone
To three essential Partriges in one?[R 144]
Gone ev'ry blush, and silent all reproach,
Contending Princes mount them in their Coach.
565 Next bidding all draw near on bended knees,
The Queen confers her Titles and Degrees.
Her children first of more distinguish'd sort,
Who study Shakespeare at the Inns of Court,
Impale a Glow-worm, or Vertù profess,
570 Shine in the dignity of F. R. S.
Some, deep Free-Masons, join the silent race[R 145]
Worthy to fill Pythagoras's place:
Some Botanists, or Florists at the least,
Or issue Members of an Annual feast.
575 Nor past the meanest unregarded, one
Rose a Gregorian, one a Gormogon.[R 146]
The last, not least in honour or applause,
Isis and Cam made Doctors of her Laws.
Then blessing all, Go Children of my care!
580 To Practice now from Theory repair.
All my commands are easy, short, and full:
My Sons! be proud, be selfish, and be dull.[R 147]
Guard my Prerogative, assert my Throne:
This Nod confirms each Privilege your own.[R 148]
585 The Cap and Switch be sacred to his Grace;
With Staff and Pumps the Marquis lead the Race;
From Stage to Stage the licens'd Earl may run,
Pair'd with his Fellow-Charioteer the Sun;
The learned Baron Butterflies design,
590 Or draw to silk Arachne's subtile line;[R 149]
The Judge to dance his brother Sergeant call;[R 150]
The Senator at Cricket urge the Ball;
The Bishop stow (Pontific Luxury!)
An hundred Souls of Turkeys in a pye;
595 The sturdy Squire to Gallic masters stoop,
And drown his Lands and Manors in a Soupe.
Others import yet nobler arts from France,
Teach Kings to fiddle,[R 151] and make Senates dance.
Perhaps more high some daring son may soar,
600 Proud to my list to add one Monarch more;
And nobly conscious, Princes are but things
Born for First Ministers, as Slaves for Kings,
Tyrant supreme! shall three Estates command,
And make one Mighty Dunciad of the Land!
605 More she had spoke, but yawn'd— All Nature nods:
What Mortal can resist the Yawn of Gods?[R 152]
Churches and Chapels instantly it reach'd;[R 153]
(St. James's first, for leaden[R 154] Gilbert preach'd)
Then catch'd the Schools; the Hall scarce kept awake;
610 The Convocation gap'd, but could not speak:[R 155]
Lost was the Nation's Sense, nor could be found,
While the long solemn Unison went round:
Wide, and more wide, it spread o'er all the realm;
Ev'n Palinurus nodded at the Helm:
615 The Vapour mild o'er each Committee crept;
Unfinish'd Treaties in each Office slept;
And Chiefless Armies doz'd out the Campaign;
And Navies yawn'd for Orders on the Main.[R 156]
O Muse! relate (for you can tell alone,
620 Wits have short Memories,[R 157] and Dunces none)
Relate, who first, who last resign'd to rest;
Whose Heads she partly, whose completely blest;
What Charms could Faction, what Ambition lull,
The Venal quiet, and intrance the Dull;[R 158]
625 'Till drown'd was Sense, and Shame, and Right, and Wrong—
O sing, and hush the Nations with thy Song!
******
In vain, in vain,–the all-composing Hour
Resistless falls: The Muse obeys the Pow'r.
She comes! she comes! the sable Throne behold[R 159]
630 Of Night Primæval, and of Chaos old!
Before her, Fancy's gilded clouds decay,
And all its varying Rain-bows die away.
Wit shoots in vain its momentary fires,
The meteor drops, and in a flash expires.
635 As one by one, at dread Medea's strain,
The sick'ning stars fade off th'ethereal plain;
As Argus' eyes by Hermes' wand opprest,[I 8]
Clos'd one by one to everlasting rest;
Thus at her felt approach, and secret might,
640 Art after Art goes out, and all is Night.
See skulking Truth to her old Cavern fled,[R 160]
Mountains of Casuistry heap'd o'er her head!
Philosophy, that lean'd on Heav'n before,[R 161]
Shrinks to her second cause, and is no more.
645 Physic of Metaphysic begs defence,
And Metaphysic calls for aid on Sense![R 162]
See Mystery to Mathematics fly![R 163]
In vain! they gaze, turn giddy, rave, and die.
Religion blushing veils her sacred fires,[R 164]
650 And unawares Morality expires,[R 165]
Nor public Flame, nor private, dares to shine;
Nor human Spark is left, nor Glimpse divine!
Lo! thy dread Empire, Chaos! is restor’d;
Light dies before thy uncreating word:
655 Thy hand, great Anarch! lets the curtain fall;
And Universal Darkness buries All.
FINIS.
Remarks
- ↑ The Dunciad, Book IV.] This Book may properly be distinguished from the former, by the Name of the Greater Dunciad, not so indeed in Size, but in Subject; and so far contrary to the distinction anciently made of the Greater and Lesser Iliad. But much are they mistaken who imagine this Work in any wise inferior to the former, or of any other hand than of our Poet; of which I am much more certain than that the Iliad itself was the Work of Solomon, or the Batrachomuomachia of Homer, as Barnes hath affirmed. Bent.
- ↑ Ver. 1, &c.] This is an Invocation of much Piety. The Poet willing to approve himself a genuine Son, beginneth by shewing (what is ever agreeable to Dulness) his high respect for Antiquity and a Great Family, how dull, or dark soever: Next declareth his love for Mystery and Obscurity; and lastly his Impatience to be re-united to her. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 2. dread Chaos, and eternal Night!] Invoked, as the Restoration of their Empire is the Action of the Poem.
- ↑ Ver. 4. half to show, half veil the deep Intent.] This is a great propriety, for a dull Poet can never express himself otherwise than by halves, or imperfectly. Scribl.
I understand it very differently; the Author in this work had indeed a deep Intent; there were in it Mysteries or λπόῤῥητα which he durst not fully reveal, and doubtless in divers verses (according to Milton)———more is meant than meets the ear.Bent.
- ↑ Ver. 6. To whom Time bears me on his rapid wing,] Fair and softly, good Poet! (cries the gentle Scriblerus on this place.) For sure in spite of his unusual modesty, he shall not travel so fast toward Oblivion, as divers others of more Confidence have done: For when I revolve in my mind the Catalogue of those who have the most boldly promised to themselves Immortality, viz. Pindar, Luis Gongora, Ronsard, Oldham, Lyrics; Lycophron, Statius, Chapman, Blackmore, Heroics; I find the one half to be already dead, and the other in utter darkness. But it becometh not us, who have taken upon us the office of Commentator, to suffer our Poet thus prodigally to cast away his Life; contrariwise, the more hidden and abstruse is his work, and the more remote its beauties from common Understanding, the more is it our duty to draw forth and exalt the same, in the face of Men and Angels. Herein shall we imitate the laudable Spirit of those, who have (for this very reason) delighted to comment on the Fragments of dark and uncouth Authors, preferred Ennius to Virgil, and chosen to turn the dark Lanthorn of Lycophren, rather than to trim the everlasting Lamp of Homer. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 7. Force inertly strong,] Alluding to the Vis inertiæ of Matter, which, tho' it really be no Power, is yet the Foundation of all the Qualities and Attributes of that sluggish Substance.
- ↑ Ver. 11, 12. Sick was the Sun,–The moon-struck Prophet] The Poet introduceth this, (as all great events are supposed by sage Historians to be preceded) by an Eclipse of the Sun; but with a peculiar propriety, as the Sun is the Emblem of that intellectual light which dies before the face of Dulness. Very apposite likewise is it to make this Eclipse, which is occasioned by the Moon's predominancy, the very time when Dulness and Madness are in Conjunction; whose relation and influence on each other the poet hath shewn in many places, Book 1. ver, 22. Book 3. ver. 5, & seq.
- ↑ Ver. 14. To blot out Order, and extinguish Light,] The two great Ends of her Mission; the one in quality of Daughter of Chaos, the other as Daughter of Night. Order here is to be understood extensively, both as Civil and Moral, the distinctions between high and low in Society, and true and false in Individuals: Light, as Intellectual only, Wit, Science, Arts.
- ↑ Ver. 15. Of dull and venal] The Allegory continued; dull referring to the extinction of Light or Science, venal to the destruction of Order, or the Truth of Things.
- ↑ Ibid. a new World] In allusion to the Epicurean opinion, that from the Dissolution of the natural World into Night and Chaos, a new one should arise; this the Poet alluding to, in the Production of a new moral World, makes it partake of its original Principles.
- ↑ Ver. 16. Lead and Gold.] i.e. dull and venal.
- ↑ Ver. 18. all below reveal'd,] Vet. Adag. The higher you climb, the more you show your A——— Verified in no instance more than in Dulness aspiring. Emblematized also by an Ape climbing and exposing his posteriors. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 20. her Laureat son reclines.] With great judgment it is imagined by the Poet, that such a Collegue as Dulness had elected, should sleep on the Throne, and have very little share in the Action of the Poem. Accordingly he hath done little or nothing from the day of his Anointing; having past through the second book without taking part in any thing that was transacted about him, and thro' the third in profound Sleep. Nor ought this, well considered, to seem strange in our days, when so many King-consorts have done the like. Scribl.
This verse our excellent Laureate took so to heart, that he appealed to all mankind, "if he was not as seldom asleep as any fool?" But it is hoped the Poet hath not injured him, but rather verified his Prophecy (p. 243. of his own Life, 8vo., ch, ix.) where he says "the Reader will be as much pleased to find me a Dunce in my Old age, as he was to prove me a brisk blockhead in my Youth." Wherever there was any room for Briskness, or Alacrity of any sort, even in sinking, he hath had it allowed him; but here, where there is nothing for him to do but to take his natural rest, he must permit his Historian to be silent. It is from their actions only that Princes have their character, and Poets from their works: And if in those he be as much a sleep as any fool, the Poet must leave him and them to sleep to all eternity. Bent. - ↑ Ibid. her Laureat] "When I find my Name in the satyrical works of this Poet, I never look upon it as any malice meant to me, but Profit to himself. For he considers that my Face is more known than most in the nation; and therefore a Lick at the Laureate will be a sure bait ad captandum vulgus, to catch little readers." Life of Colley Cibber, chap. ii.
Now if it be certain, that the works of our Poet have owed their success to this ingenious expedient, we hence derive an unanswerable Argument, that this Fourth Dunciad, as well as the former three, hath had the Author's last hand, and was by him intended for the Press: Or else to what purpose hath he crowned it, as we see, by this finishing stroke, the profitable Lick at the Laureate? Bent. - ↑ Ver. 21, 22. Beneath her footstool, &c.] We are next presented with the pictures of those whom the Goddess leads in Captivity. Science is only depressed and confined so as to be rendered useless; but Wit or Genius, as a more dangerous and active enemy, punished, or driven away: Dulness being often reconciled in some degree with Learning, but never upon any terms with Wit. And accordingly it will be seen that she admits something like each Science, as Casuistry, Sophistry, &c.
- ↑ Ver. 27. by her false Guardians drawn,] Morality is the Daughter of Astræa. This alludes to the Mythology of the ancient Poets; who tell us that in the Gold and Silver ages, or in the State of Nature, the Gods cohabited with Men here on Earth; but when by reason of human degeneracy men were forced to have recourse to a Magistrate, and that the Ages of Brass and Iron came on, (that is, when Laws were wrote on brazen tablets and inforced by the Sword of Justice) the Celestials soon retired from Earth, and Astræa last of all; and then it was she left this her Orphan Daughter in the hands of the Guardians aforesaid. Scribl.
- ↑ V. 30. gives her Page the word.] There was a Judge of this name, always ready to hang any man, of which he was suffered to give a hundred miserable examples during a long life, even to his dotage.—Tho' the candid Scriblerus imagined Page here to mean no more than a Page or Mute, and to allude to the custom of strangling State Criminals in Turkey by Mutes or Pages. A practice more decent than that of our Page, who before he hanged any person, loaded him with reproachful language. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 31. Mad Mathesis] Alluding to the strange Conclusions some Mathematicians have deduced from their principles concerning the real Quantity of Matter, the Reality of Space, &c.
- ↑ Ver. 33. pure Space] i. e. pure and defæcated from Matter.—extatic Stare, the action of men who look about with full assurance of seeing what does not exist, such as those who expect to find Space a real being.
- ↑ Ver. 34. running round the Circle, finds it square.] Regards the wild and fruitless attempts of squaring the Circle.
- ↑ Ver. 36. Watch'd both by Envy's and by Flatt'ry's eye:] One of the misfortunes falling on Authors, from the Act for subjecting Plays to the power of a Licenser, being the false representations to which they were expos'd, from such as either gratify'd their Envy to Merit, or made their Court to Greatness, by perverting general Reflections against Vice into Libels on particular Persons.
- ↑ Ver. 39. But sober History] History attends on Tragedy, Satyr on Comedy, as their substitutes in the discharge of their distinct functions: the one in high life, recording the crimes and punishments of the great; the other in low, exposing the vices or follies of the common people. But it may be asked, How came History and Satyr to be admitted with impunity to minister comfort to the Muses, even in the presence of the Goddess, and in the midst of all her triumphs? A question, says Scriblerus, which we thus resolve: History was brought up in her infancy by Dulness herself; but being afterwards espoused into a noble house, she forgot (as is usual) the humility of her birth, and the cares of her early friends. This occasioned a long estrangement between her and Dulness. At length, in process of time, they met together in a Monk's Cell, were reconciled, and be came better friends than ever. After this they had a second quarrel, but it held not long, and are now again on reasonable terms, and so are like to continue. This accounts for the connivance shewn to History on this occasion. But the boldness of Satyr springs from a very different cause; for the reader ought to know, that she alone of all the sisters is unconquerable, never to be silenced, when truly inspired and animated (as should seem) from above, for this very purpose, to oppose the kingdom of Dulness to her last breath.
- ↑ Ver. 43. Nor cou'd'st thou, &c.] This Noble Person in the year 1737, when the Act aforesaid was brought into the House of Lords, opposed it in an excellent speech (says Mr. Cibber), "with a lively spirit, and uncommon eloquence." This speech had the honour to be answered by the said Mr. Cibber, with a a lively spirit also, and in a manner very uncommon, in the 8th Chapter of his Life and Manners. And here, gentle Reader, would I gladly insert the other speech, whereby thou mightest judge between them: but I must defer it on account of some differences not yet adjusted between the noble Author and myself, concerning the True Reading of certain Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 45. When lo! a Harlot form] The Attitude given to this Phantom represents the nature and genius of the Italian Opera; its affected airs, its effeminate sounds, and the practice of patching up these Operas with favourite Songs, in coherently put together. These things were supported by the subscriptions of the Nobility. This circumstance that Opera should prepare for the opening of the grand Sessions, was prophesied of in Book 3. ver. 304.Already Opera prepares the way,
The sure fore-runner of her gentle sway. - ↑ Ver. 54. let Division reign:] Alluding to the false taste of playing tricks in Music with numberless divisions, to the neglect of that harmony which conforms to the Sense, and applies to the Passions. Mr. Handel had introduced a great number of Hands, and more variety of Instruments into the Orchestra, and employed even Drums and Cannon to make a fuller Chorus; which prov'd so much too manly for the fine Gentlemen of his age, that he was obliged to remove his Music into Ireland. After which they were reduced, for want of Composers, to practise the patch-work above mentioned.
- ↑ Ver. 55. Chromatic tortures] That species of the ancient music called the Chromatic was a variation and embellishment, in odd irregularities, of the Diatonic kind. They say it was invented about the time of Alexander, and that the Spartans forbad the use of it, as languid and effeminate.
- ↑ Ver. 59. Thy own Phœbus reigns,]Not the ancient Phœbus, the God of Harmony, but a modern Phœbus of French extraction, married to the Princess Galimathia, one of the handmaids of Dulness, and an assistant to Opera. Of whom see Bouhours, and other Critics of that nation. Scribl.
Tuus jam regnat Apollo.Virg.
- ↑ Ver. 71. Fame's posterior Trumpet] Posterior, viz. her second or more certain Report: unless we imagine this word posterior to relate to the position of one of her Trumpets, according to Hudibras: She blows not both with the same Wind,
But one before and one behind;
And therefore modern Authors name
One good, and t'other evil Fame. - ↑ Ver. 75. None need a guide,–None want a place,] The sons of Dulness want no instructors in study, nor guides in life: they are their own masters in all Sciences, and their own Heralds and Introducers into all places.
- ↑ Ver. 76 to 101.] It ought to be observed that here are three classes in this assembly. The first of men absolutely and avowedly dull, who naturally adhere to the Goddess, and are imaged in the simile of the Bees about their Queen. The second involuntarily drawn to her, tho' not caring to own her influence; from ver. 81 to 90. The third of such, as, tho' not members of her state, yet advance her service by flattering Dulness, cultivating mistaken talents, patronizing vile scriblers, discouraging living merit, or setting up for wits, and Men of taste in arts they understand not; from ver. 91 to 101. In this new world of Dulness each of these three classes hath its appointed station, as best suits its nature, and concurs to the harmony of the System. The first drawn only by the strong and simple impulse of Attraction, are represented as falling directly down into her; as conglobed into her substance, and resting in her centre.The second tho' within the sphere of her attraction, yet having at the same time a different motion, they are carried, by the composition of these two, in planetary revolutions round her centre, some nearer to it, some further off:———All their centre found,
Hung to the Goddess, and coher'd around.The third are properly excentrical, and no constant members of her state or system: sometimes at an immense distance from her influence, and sometimes again almost on the surface of her broad effulgence. Their use in their Perihelion, or nearest approach to Dulness, is the same in the moral World, as that of Comets in the natural, namely to refresh and recreate the Dryness and decays of the system; in the manner marked out from ver. 91 to 98.Who gently drawn, and struggling less and less,
Roll in her Vortex, and her pow'r confess. - ↑ Ver. 93. false to Phœbus,] Spoken of the ancient and true Phœbus, not the French Phœbus, who hath no chosen Priests or Poets, but equally inspires any man that pleaseth to sing or preach. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 99, 100. And (last and worst) with all the cant of wit,
Without the soul, the Muse's Hypocrit.] In this division are reckoned up 1. The Idolizers of Dulness in the Great–2. Ill Judges,–3. Ill Writers,–4. Ill Patrons. But the last and worst, as he justly calls him, is the Muse's Hypocrite, who is as it were the Epitome of them all. He who thinks the only end of poetry is to amuse, and the only business of the poet to be witty; and consequently who cultivates only such trifling talents in himself, and encourages only such in others. - ↑ Ver. 110. bold Benson] This man endeavoured to raise himself to Fame by erecting monuments, striking coins, setting up heads, and procuring translations, of Milton; and afterwards by a great passion for Arthur Johnston, a Scotch physician's Version of the Psalms, of which he printed many fine Editions. See more of him, Book 3. ver. 325.
- ↑ Ver. 113. The decent Knight.] An eminent person, who was about to publish a very pompous Edition of a great Author, at his own expence.
- ↑ Ver. 119. "Thus revive, &c.] The Goddess applauds the practice of tacking the obscure names of Persons not eminent in any branch of learning, to those of the most distinguished writers; either by printing Editions of their works with impertinent alterations of their Text, as in the former instances, or by setting up Monuments disgraced with their own vile names and inscriptions, as the latter.
- ↑ Ver. 122. old Æson] Of whom Ovid (very applicable to these restored authors)Æson miratur,
Dissimilemque animum subiit——— - ↑ Ver. 128. A Page, a Grave,) For what less than a Grave can be granted to a dead author? or what less than a Page can be allow'd a living one?
- ↑ Ibid. A Page,] Pagina, not Pedissequus. A Page of a Book, not a Servant, Follower, or Attendant; no Poet having had a Page since the death of Mr. Thomas Durfey Scribl..
- ↑ Ver. 131. So by each Bard an Alderman, &c.] Vide the Tombs of the Poets, Editio Westmonasteriensis.
- ↑ Ver. 137, 138, Dunce scorning dunce beholds the next advance,
But Fop shows Fop superior complaisance.]This is not to be ascribed so much to the different manners of a Court and College, as to the different effects which a pretence to Learning, and a pretence to Wit, have on Blockheads. For as Judgment consists in finding out the differences in things, and with finding out their likenesses, the Dunce is all discord and dissension, and constantly busied in reproving, examining, confuting, &c. while the Fop flourishes in peace, with Songs and Hymns of Praise, Addresses, Characters, Epithalamiums, &c. - ↑ Ver. 140. the dreadful wand;] A Cane usually born by Schoolmasters, which drives the poor Souls about like the wand of Mercury. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 148. And holds his breeches] An effect of Fear somewhat like this, is described in the 7th Æneid,nothing being so natural in any apprehension, as to lay close hold on whatever is suppos'd to be most in danger. But let it not be imagined the author would insinuate these youthful Senators (tho' so lately come from school) to be under the undue influence of any Master. Scribl.Contremuit nemus ———
Et trepidæ matres pressere ad pectora nates. - ↑ Ver. 151. like the Samian letter,] The letter Y, used by Pythagoras as an emblem of the different roads of Virtue and Vice.
Et tibi quae Samios diduxit litera ramos.Persius. - ↑ Ver. 153. Plac'd at the door, &c.] This circumstance of the Genius Loci (with that of the Index-hand before) seems to be an allusion to the Table of Cebes, where the Genius of human Nature points out the road to be pursued by those entering into life. Ὁ δὲ γέρων ο ἄνω ἑστηκὼς ἔχων χάρτην τινὰ ἐν τῇ χειρὶ, καὶ τῇ ἑτέρα ὥσπερ δεικνύων τί οῧτος Δαίμων καλεῑται, &c.
- ↑ Ver. 159. to exercise the breath;] By obliging them to get the classic poets by Heart, which furnishes them with endless matter for Conversation, and Verbal amusement for their whole lives.
- ↑ Ver. 162. We hang one jingling padlock, &c.] For youth being used like Pack-horses and beaten on under a heavy load of Words, lest they should tire, their instructors contrive to make the Words jingle in rhyme or metre.
- ↑ V. 165. in yonder House or Hall.] Westminster-hall and the House of Commons.
- ↑ Ver. 174. that Master-piece of Man.] viz. an Epigram. The famous Dr. South declared a perfect Epigram to be as difficult a performance as an Epic Poem. And the Critics say, "an Epic Poem is the greatest work human nature is capable of."
- ↑ Ver. 175. Oh (cry'd the Goddess) &c.] The matter under debate is how to confine men to Words for life. The instructors of youth shew how well they do their parts; but complain that when men come into the world they are apt to forget their Learning, and turn themselves to useful Knowledge. This was an evil that wanted to be redressed. And this the Goddess assures them will need a more extensive Tyranny than that of Grammar schools. She therefore points out to them the remedy, in her wishes for arbitrary Power; whose interest it being to keep men from the study of things, will encourage the propagation of words and sounds; and to make all sure, she wishes for another Pedant Monarch. The sooner to obtain so great a blessing, she is willing even for once to violate the fundamental principle of her politics, in having her sons taught at least one thing; but that sufficient, the Doctrine of Divine Right.
Nothing can be juster than the observation here insinuated, that no branch of Learning thrives well under Arbitrary government but Verbal. The reasons are evident. It is unsafe under such Governments to cultivate the study of things of importance. Besides, when men have lost their public virtue, they naturally delight in trifles, if their private morals secure them from being vicious. Hence so great a Cloud of Scholiasts and Grammarians so soon overspread the Learning of Greece and Rome, when once those famous Communities had lost their Liberties. Another reason is the encouragement which arbitrary governments give to the study of words, in order to busy and amuse active genius's, who might otherwise prove troublesome and inquisitive. So when Cardinal Richelieu had destroyed the poor remains of his Country's liberties, and made the supreme Court of Parliament merely ministerial, he instituted the French Academy. What was said upon that occasion, by a brave Magistrate, when the letters-patent of it's erection came to be verified in the Parliament of Paris, deserves to be remembered: He told the assembly, that this adventure put him in mind after what manner an Emperor of Rome once treated his Senate; who when he had deprived them of the cognizance of Public matters, sent a message to them in form for their opinion about the best Sauce for a Turbot. - ↑ Ver. 176. Some gentle James, &c.] Wilson tells us that this King, James the first, took upon himself to teach the Latin tongue to Car, Earl of Somerset; and that Gondomar the Spanish Ambassador wou'd speak false Latin to him, on purpose to give him the pleasure of correcting it, whereby he wrought himself into his good graces.
This great Prince was the first who assumed the title of Sacred Majesty, which his loyal Clergy transfer'd from God to Him. "The principles of Passive Obedience and Non-resistance (says the Author of the Dissertation on Parties, Letter 8.) which before his time had skulk'd perhaps in some old Homily, were talk'd, written, and preach'd into vogue in "that inglorious reign. - ↑ Ver. 181, 182. if Dulnesses sees a grateful Day, 'Tis in the shade of Arbitrary Sway.] And grateful it is in Dulness to make this confession. I will not say she alludes to that celebrated verse of Claudian,But this I will say, that the words Liberty and Monarchy have been frequently confounded and mistaken one for the other by the gravest authors. I should therefore conjecture, that the genuine reading of the forecited verse was thus,——— nunquam Libertas gratior extat
Quam sub Rege pio ———and that Rege was the reading only of Dulness herself: And therefore she might allude to it. Scribl.——— nunquam Libertas gratior exstat
Quam sub Lege pia ———
I judge quite otherwise of this passage: The genuine reading is Libertas, and Rege: So Claudian gave it. But the error lies in the first verse: It should be Exit, not Exstat, and then the meaning will be, that Liberty was never lost, or went away with so good a grace, as under a good King: it being without doubt a tenfold shame to lose it under a bad one.
This farther leads me to animadvert upon a most grievous piece of nonsense to be found in all the Editions of the Author of the Dunciad himself. A most capital one it is, and owing to the confusion above mentioned by Scriblerus, of the two words Liberty and Monarchy. Essay on Crit.Who sees not, it should be, Nature like Liberty? Correct it therefore repugnantibus omnibus (even tho' the Author himself should oppugn) in all the impressions which have been, or shall be, made of his works. Bentl. - ↑ Ver. 192. A hundred head of Aristotle's friends.] The Philosophy of Aristotle had suffered a long disgrace in this learned University: being first expelled by the Cartesian, which, in its turn, gave place to the Newtonian. But it had all this while some faithful followers in secret, who never bowed the knee to Baal, nor acknowledged any strange God in Philosophy. These, on this new appearance of the Goddess, come out like Confessors, and make an open profession of the ancient faith in the ipse dixit of their Master. Thus far Scriblerus.
But the learned Mr. Colley Cibber takes the matter quite otherwise; and that this various fortune of Aristotle relates not to his natural, but his moral Philosophy. For speaking of that University in his time, he says, they seemed to have as implicit a Reverence for Shakespear and Johnson, as formerly for the Ethics of Aristotle. See his Life, p. 385. One would think this learned professor had mistaken Ethics for Physics; unless he might imagine the Morals too were grown into disuse, from the relaxation they admitted of during the time he mentions, viz. while He and the Players were at Oxford. - ↑ Ibid. A hundred head, &c.] It appears by this the Goddess has been careful of keeping up a Succession, according to the rule,It is remarkable with what dignity the Poet here describes the friends of this ancient Philosopher. Horace does not observe the same decorum with regard to those of another sect, when he says Cum ridere voles Epicuri de grege Porcum. But the word Drove, Armentum, here understood, is a word of honour, as the most noble Festus the Grammarian assures us, Armentum id genus pecoris appellatur, quod est idoneum opus armorum. And alluding to the temper of this warlike breed, our poet very appositely calls them a hundred head. Scribl.Semper enim refice: ac ne post amissa requiras,
Anteveni; & sobolem armento sortire quotannis. - ↑ Ver. 194. [Tho' Christ-church] This line is doubtless spurious, and foisted in by the impertinence of the Editor; and accordingly we have put it between Hooks. For I affirm this College came as early as any other, by its proper Deputies; nor did any College pay homage to Dulness in its whole body. Bentl.
- ↑ Ver. 196. still expelling Locke] In the year 1703 there was a meeting of the heads of the University of Oxford to censure Mr. Locke's Essay on Human Understanding, and to forbid the reading it. See his Letters in the last Edit.
- ↑ Ver. 198. On German Crouzaz and Dutch Burgersdyck.] There seems to be an improbability that the Doctors and Heads of Houses should ride on horseback, who of late days, being gouty or unweildy, have kept their coaches. But these are horses of great strength, and fit to carry any weight, as their German and Dutch extraction may manifest; and very famous we may conclude, being honour'd with Names, as were the horses Pegasus and Bucephalus. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 199. the streams] The River Cam, running by the walls of these Colleges, which are particularly famous for their skill in Disputation.
- ↑ Ver. 202. sleeps in Port.] viz. "now retired into harbour, after the tempest that had long agitated his society." So Scriblerus. But the learned Scipio Maffei understands it of a certain Wine called Port, from Operto a city of Portugal, of which this Professor invited him to drink abundantly. Scip. Maff. de Compotationibus Academicis.
- ↑ Ver. 205. His Hat, &c.—So upright Quakers please both Man and God.] The Hat-worship, as the Quakers call it, is an abomination to that sect: yet, where it is necessary to pay that respect to man (as in the Courts of Justice and Houses of Parliament) they have, to avoid offence, and yet not violate their conscience, permitted other people to uncover them.
- ↑ Ver. 210. Aristarchus] A famous Commentator, and Corrector of Homer, whose name has been frequently used to signify a complete Critic. The Compliment paid by our author to this eminent Professor, in applying to him so great a Name, was the reason that he hath omitted to comment on this part which contains his own praises. We shall therefore supply that loss to our best ability. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 217, 218. While tow'ring o'er your Alphabet, like Saul, — Stands our Digamma,] Alludes to the boasted restoration of the Æolic Digamma, in his long projected Edition of Homer. He calls it something more than Letter, from the enormous figure it would make among the other letters, being one Gamma set upon the shoulders of another.
- ↑ Ver. 220. of Me or Te,] It was a serious dispute, about which the learned were much divided, and some treatises written: Had it been about Meura or Tuum it could not be more contested, than whether at the end of the first Ode of Horace, to read, Me doctarum hederæ præmia frontium, or, Te doctarum hederæ—
- ↑ Ver. 222. Or give up Cicero to C or K.] Grammatical disputes about the manner of pronouncing Cicero's name in Greek. It is a dispute whether in Latin the name of Hermagoras should end in as or a. Quintilian quotes Cicero as writing it Hermagora, which Bentley rejects, and says Quintilian must be mistaken, Cicero could not write it so, and that in this case he would not believe Cicero himself. These are his very words: Ego vero Ciceronem ita scripsisse ne Ciceroni quidem affirmanti crediderim.–Epist. ad Mill. in fin. Frag. Menand. et Phil.
- ↑ Ver. 223, 224. Freind, — Alsop] Dr. Robert Freind, master of Westminster school, and canon of Christ-church—Dr. Anthony Alsop, a happy imitator of the Horatian style.
- ↑ Ver. 226. Manilius or Solinus] Some Critics having had it in their choice to comment either on Virgil or Manilius, Pliny or Solinus, have chosen the worse author, the more freely to display their critical capacity.
- ↑ Ver. 228, &c. Suidas, Gellius, Stobæus] The first a Dictionary-writer, a collector of impertinent facts and barbarous words; the second a minute Critic; the third an author, who gave his Common-place book to the public, where we happen to find much Mince-meat of old books.
- ↑ Ver. 232. Or chew'd by blind old Scholiasts o'er and o'er.] These taking the same things eternally from the mouth of one another.
- ↑ Ver. 239, 240. Ah, think not, Mistress, &c.–In Folly's Cap, &c.] By this it would seem the Dunces and Fops mentioned ver. 139, 140. had a contention of rivalship for the Goddess's favour on this great day. Those got the start, but these make it up by their Spokesmen in the next speech. It seems as if Aristarchus here first saw him advancing with his fair Pupil. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 241, 242. Like buoys, &c.—On Learning's surface, &c.] So that the station of a Professor is only a kind of legal Noticer to inform us where the shatter'd hulk of Learning lies at anchor; which after so long unhappy navigation, and now without either Master or Patron, we may wish, with Horace, may lie there still.——— Nonne vides, ut
Nudum remigie latus?
——— non tibi sunt integra lintea;
Non Di, quos iterum pressa voces malo.
Quamvis pontica pinus,
Sylvae filia nobilis,
Jactes & genus, & nomen inutile. Hor.Scribl. - ↑ Ver. 244. And much Divinity without a Νοῦς] A word much affected by the learned Aristarchus in common conversation, to signify Genius or natural acumen. But this passage has a farther view: Νοῦς was the Platonic term for Mind, or the first Cause, and that system of Divinity is here hinted at which terminates in blind Nature without a Νοῦς: such as the Poet afterwards describes (speaking of the dreams of one of these later Platonists)Or that bright Image to our Fancy draw,
Which Theocles in raptur'd Vision saw,
That Nature ——— &c. - ↑ Ver. 245, 246. Barrow, Atterbury,] Isaac Barrow Master of Trinity, Francis Atterbury Dean of Christ-church, both great Genius's and eloquent Preachers; one more conversant in the sublime Geometry, the other in classical Learning; but who equally made it their care to advance the polite Arts in their several Societies.
- ↑ Ver. 247. the heavy Canon] Canon here, if spoken of Artillery, is in the plural number; if of the Canons of the House, in the singular, and meant only of one: in which case I suspect the Poll to be a false reading, and that it should be the Poll, or Head of that Canon. It may be objected, that this is a mere Paranomasia or Pun. But what of that? Is may figure of Speech more apposite to our gentle Goddess, or more frequently used by her, and her Children, especially of the University? Doubtless it better suits the Character of Dulness, yea of a Doctor, than that of an Angel; yet Milton fear'd not to put a considerable quantity into the mouths of his. It hath indeed been observed, that they were the Devil's Angels, as if he did it to suggest the Devil was the Author as well of false Wit, as of false Religion, and that the Father of Lies was also the Father of Puns. But this is idle: It must be own'd a Christian practice, used in the primitive times by some of the Fathers, and in later by most of the Sons of the Church; till the debauch'd reign of Charles the second, when the shameful Passion for Wit overthrew every thing: and even then the best Writers admitted it, provided it was obscene, under the name of the Double entendre. {{float right|Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 248. And Metaphysic smokes, &c.] Here the learned Aristarchus ending the first member of his harangue in behalf of Words; and entering on the other half, which regards the teaching of Things; very artfully connects the two parts in an encomium on Metaphysics, a kind of Middle nature between words and things: communicating, in its obscurity with Substance, and in its emptiness with Names. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 255 to 271. What tho' we let some better sort of fool, &c.] Hitherto Aristarchus hath displayed the art of teaching his Pupils words, without things. He shews greater skill in what follows, which is to teach things, without profit. For with the better sort of fool the first expedient is, ver, 254 to 258, to run him so swiftly through the circle of the Sciences that he shall stick at nothing, nor nothing stick with him; and though some little, both of words and things, should by chance be gathered up in his passage, yet he shews, ver, 255 to 260, that it is never more of the one than just to enable him to persecute with Rhyme, or of the other than to plague with Dispute. But, if after all, the Pupil will needs learn a Science, it is then provided by nis careful directors, ver. 261, 262, that it shall either be such as he can never enjoy when he comes out into life, or such as he will be obliged to divorce. And to make all sure, ver. 263 to 268, the useless or pernicious Sciences, thus taught, are still applied perversely; the man of Wit petrified in Euclid, or trammelled in Metaphysics; and the man of Judgment married, without his parents consent, to a Muse. Thus far the particular arts of modern Education, used partially, and diversified according to the Subject and the Occasion: But there is one general Method, with the encomium of which the great Aristarchus ends his speech, ver. 266 to 268, and that is Authority, the universal Cement, which fills all the cracks and chasms of lifeless matter, shuts up all the pores of living substance, and brings all human minds to one dead level. For if Nature should chance to struggle through all the entanglements of the foregoing ingenious expedients to bind rebel wit, this claps upon her one sure and entire cover. So that well may Aristarchus defy all human power to get the Man out again from under so impenetrable a crust. The Poet alludes to this Master-piece of the Schools in ver. 501, where he speaks of Vassals to a name.
- ↑ Ver. 264. petrify a Genius] Those who have no Genius, employ'd in works of imagination; those who have, in abstract sciences.
- ↑ Ver. 270. And hew the Block off.] A notion of Aristotle, that there was originally in every block of marble, a Statue, which would appear on the removal of the superfluous parts.
- ↑ Ver. 272. lac'd Governor] Why lac'd? Because Gold and Silver are necessary trimming to denote the dress of a person of rank, and the Governor must be supposed so in foreign countries, to be admitted into Courts and other places of fair reception. But how comes Aristarchus to know by sight that this Governor came from France? Why, by the laced coat.Scribl.
- ↑ Ibid. Where, Pupil, and lac'd Governor] Some Critics have objected to the order here, being of opinion that the Governor should have the precedence before the Whore, if not before the Pupil. But were he so placed, it might be thought to insinuate that the Governor led the Pupil to the Whore: and were the Pupil placed first, he might be supposed to lead the Governor to her. But our impartial Poet, as he is drawing their Picture, represents them in the order in which they are generally seen; namely, the Pupil between the Whore and the Governor; but placeth the Whore first, as she usually governs both the other.
- ↑ Ver. 274. stern as Ajax' spectre,] See Homer Odyss xi. where the Ghost of Ajax turns sullenly from Ulysses. A Passage extremely admired by Longinus.
- ↑ Ver. 276. And titt'ring push'd, &c.] Hor.
Rideat & pulset lasciva decentiùs ætas
- ↑ Ver. 279. The first came forward, &c.] This Forwardness or Pertness is the certain consequence, when the Children of Dulness are spoiled by too great fondness of their Parent.
- ↑ Ver. 280. As if he saw St. James's,) Reflecting on the disrespectful and indecent Behaviour of several forward young Persons in the Presence, so offensive to all serious men, and to none more than the good Scriblerus.
- ↑ Ver. 281. th'attendant Orator] The Governor abovesaid. The Poet gives him no particular name; being unwilling, I presume, to offend or do injustice to any, by celebrating one only with whom this character agrees, in preference to so many who equally deserve it. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 284. A dauntless Infant! never scar'd with God.] Hor..
———fine Dis Animosus Infans
- ↑ Ver. 288. he ne'er was Boy, nor Man.] Nature hath bestowed on the human species two states or conditions, Infancy and Manhood. Wit sometimes makes the first disappear, and Folly the latter; but true Dulness annihilates both. For, want of apprehension in Boys, not suffering that conscious ignorance and inexperience which produce the awkward bashfulness of youth, makes them assured; and want of imagination makes them grave. But this gravity and assurance, which is beyond boyhood, being neither wisdom nor knowledge, do never reach to manhood. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 290. unseen the young Æneas past: Thence bursting glorious,) See Virg. Æn. 1.Where he enumerates the causes why his mother took this care of him: to wit, 1. that no-body might touch or correct him: 2. might stop or detain him: 3. examine him about the progress he had made, or so much as guess why he came there.At Venus obscuro gradientes aëre sepsit,
Et multo nebulæ circum Dea fudit amictu,
Cernere ne quis eos;—1. neu quis contingere possit;
2. Molirive moram;–aut 3. veniendi poscere causas. - ↑ Ver. 303. lilly-silver'd vales,] Tube-roses.
- ↑ Ver. 308. And Cupid, ride the Lyon of the Deeps;] The winged Lyon, the Arms of Venice. This Republic heretofore the most considerable in Europe, for her Naval Force and the extent of her Commerce; now illustrious for her Carnivals.
- ↑ Ver. 318. greatly-daring din'd;] It being indeed no small risque to eat thro' those extraordinary compositions, whose disguis'd ingredients are generally unknown to the guests, and highly inflammatory and unwholsome.
- ↑ Ver. 322. And last turn'd Air, the Echo of a Sound!] Yet less a Body than Echo itself; for Echo reflects Sense or Words at least, this Gentleman only Airs and Tunes:
——— Sonus est, qui vivit in illo.Ovid. Met.
So that this was not a Metamorphosis either in one or the other, but only a Resolution of the Soul into its true Principles, its real Essence being Harmony; according to the Doctrine of Orpheus, the Inventor of Opera, who first perform'd to a choice assembly of Beasts. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 324. With nothing but a Solo in his head;] With nothing but a Solo? Why, if it be a Solo, how should there be anything else? Palpable Tautology! Read boldly an Opera, which is enough of conscience for such a head as has lost all its Latin. Bentl.
- ↑ Ver. 326. Jansen, Fleetwood, Cibber,] Three very eminent persons, all Managers of Plays; who, tho' not Governors by profession, had, each in his way, concern'd themselves in the Education of Youth; and regulated their Wits, their Morals, or their Finances, at that period of their age which is the most important, their entrance into the polite world. Of the last of these, and his Talents for this end, see Book 1. ver. 199, &c.
- ↑ Ver. 331. Her too receive, &c.] This confirms what the learned Scriblerus advanced in his Note on ver. 272, that the Governor, as well as the Pupil, had a particular interest in this lady.
- ↑ Ver. 332. So may the sons of sons, &c.] Virg.
Et nati natorum, et qui nascentur ab illis.Æn. iii.
- ↑ Ibid. sons of whores,] For such have been always esteemed the ablest supports of the Throne of Dulness, even by the confession of those her most legitimate Sons, who have unfortunately wanted that advantage. The illustrious Vanini in his divine encomium on our Goddess, intitled De Admirandis Naturæ Reginæ Deæque mortalium Arcanis, laments that he was not born a Bastard: O utinam extra le gitimum ac connubialem thorum essem procreatus! &c. He expatiates on the prerogatives of a free birth, and on what he would have done for the Great Mother with those advantages; and then sorrowfully concludes, At quia Conjugatorum sum soboles his orbatus sum bonis.
- ↑ Ver. 341. Thee too, my Paridel!] The Poet seems to speak of this young gentleman with great affection. The name is taken from Spenser, who gives it to a wandering Courtly 'Squire, that travell'd about for the same reason, for which many young Squires are now fond of travelling, and especially to Paris.
- ↑ Ver. 342, &c. Stretch'd on the rack—And heard, &c.] Virg. Æn. vi.Sedet, æternumque sedebit,
Infelix Theseus, Phlegyasque miserrimus omnes
Admonet——— - ↑ Ver. 347. Annius,] The name taken from Annius the Monk of Viterbo, famous for many Impositions and Forgeries of ancient manuscripts and inscriptions, which he was prompted to by mere Vanity, but our Annius had a more substantial motive.
- ↑ Ver. 355. grant me still to cheat!—O may thy cloud still cover the deceit!] Hor.——— Da, pulchra Laverna,
Da mihi fallere ———
Noctem peccatis & fraudibus objice nubem.
- ↑ Ibid. still to cheat,] Some read skill, but that is frivolous, for Annius hath that skill already; or if he had not, skill were not wanting to cheat such persons. Bentl.
- ↑ Ver. 361. hunt th' Athenian fowl,] The Owl stamp'd on the reverse of the ancient money of Athens.is the verse by which Hobbes renders that of Homer,
Which Chalcis Gods, and Mortals call an Owl
Χαλκίδα κικλήσκουσι Θεοὶ, ἄνδρες δὲ Κύμινδιν.
- ↑ Ver. 363. Attys and Cecrops.] The first Kings of Athens, of whom it is hard to suppose any Coins are extant; but not so improbable as what follows, that there should be any of Mahomet, who forbad all Images. Nevertheless one of these Annius's made a counterfeit one, now in the collection of a learned Nobleman.
- ↑ Ver. 371. Mummius] This name is not merely an allusion to the Mummies he was so fond of, but probably referred to the Roman General of that name, who burn'd Corinth, and committed the curious Statues to the Captain of a Ship, assuring him, "that if any were lost or broken, he should procure others to be made in their stead:" by which it should seem (whatever may be pretended) that Mummius was no Virtuoso.
- ↑ Ver. 372. Cheops] A King of Egypt, whose body was certainly to be known, as being buried alone in his Pyramid, and is therefore more genuine than any of the Cleopatra's. This Royal Mummy, being stolen by a wild Arab, was purchas'd by the Consul of Alexandria, and transmitted to the Museum of Mummius; for proof of which he brings a passage in Sandys's Travels, where that accurate and learned Voyager assures us that he saw the Sepulchre empty, which agrees exactly (saith he) with the time of the theft above mention'd. But he omits to observe that Herodotus tells the same thing of it in his time.
- ↑ Ver. 375. Speak's thou of Syrian Princes? &c.] The strange story following which may be taken for a fiction of the Poet, is justified by a true relation in Spon's Voyages. Vaillant (who wrote the History of the Syrian Kings as it is to be found on medals) coming from the Levant, where he had been collecting various Coins, and being pursued by a Corsaire of Sallee, swallowed down twenty gold medals. A sudden Bourasque freed him from the Rover, and he got to land with them in his belly. On his road to Avignon he met two Physicians, of whom he demanded assistance. One advis'd Purgations, the other Vomits. In this uncertainty he took neither, but pursued his way to Lyons, where he found his ancient friend, the famous Physician and Antiquary Dufour, to whom he related his adventure. Dufour first ask'd him whether the Medals were of the higher Empire? He assur'd him they were. Dufour was ravish'd with the hope of possessing such a treasure, he bargain'd with him on the spot for the most curious of them, and was to recover them at his own expence.
- ↑ Ver. 383. each Demi-God,] They are called Θεῖοι on their Coins.
- ↑ Ver. 387. Witness great Ammon!] Jupiter Ammon is call'd to witness, as the father of Alexander, to whom those Kings succeeded in the division of the Macedonian Empire, and whose Horns they wore on their Medals.
- ↑ Ver. 394. Douglas] A Physician of great Learning and no less Taste; above all curious in what related to Horace, of whom he collected every Edition, Translation, and Comment, to the number of several hundred volumes.
- ↑ Ver. 397. Then thick as locusts black'ning all the ground,] The similitude of Locusts does not refer more to the numbers than to the qualities of the Virtuosi: who not only devour and lay waste every tree, shrub, and green leaf in their Course, i.e. of experiments; but suffer neither a moss nor fungus to escape untouched. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 409. and nam'd it Caroline:] It is a compliment which the Florists usually pay to Princes and great persons, to give their names to the most curious Flowers of their raising: Some have been very jealous of vindicating this honour, but none more than that ambitious Gardiner at Hammersmith, who caused his Favourite to be painted on his Sign, with this inscription, This is My Queen Caroline.
- ↑ Ver. 440. our sleeping friends.] Of whom see ver. 345 above.
- ↑ Ver. 450. a wilderness of Moss;] Of which the Naturalists count I can't tell how many hundred species.
- ↑ Ver. 452. Wilkins' wings.] One of the first Projectors of the Royal Society, who, among many enlarged and useful notions, entertain'd the extravagant hope of a possibility to fly to the Moon; which has put some volatile Genius's upon making wings for that purpose.
- ↑ Ver. 453. O! would the Sons of men, &c.] This is the third speech of the Goddess to her Supplicants, and completes the whole of what she had to give in instruction on this important occasion, concerning Learning, Civil Society, and Religion. In the first speech, ver. 119, to her Editors and conceited Critics, she directs how to deprave Wit and discredit fine Writers. In her second, ver. 175, to the Educators of Youth, she shews them how all Civil Duties may be extiguish'd, in that one doctrine of divine Hereditary Right. And in this third, she charges the Investigators of Nature to amuse themselves in Trifles, and rest in Second causes, with a total disregard of the First. This being all that Dulness can wish, is all she needs to say; and we may apply to her (as the Poet hath manag'd it) what hath been said of true Wit, that She neither says too little, nor too much.
- ↑ Ver. 459. a gloomy Clerk,] The Epithet gloomy in this line may seem the same with that of dark in the next. But gloomy relates to the uncomfortable and disastrous condition of an irreligious Sceptic, whereas dark alludes only to his puzzled and embroiled Systems.
- ↑ Ver. 462. When Moral Evidence shall quite decay,] Alluding to a ridiculous and absurd way of some Mathematicians, in calculating the gradual decay of Moral Evidence by mathematical proportions: acccording to which calculation, in about fifty years it will be no longer probable that Julius Cæsar was in Gaul, or died in the Senate House. See Craig's Theologiæ Christianæ Principia Mathematica. But as it seems evident, that facts of a thousand years old, for instance, are now as probable as they were five hundred years ago; it is plain that if in fifty more they quite disappear, it must be owing, not to their Arguments, but to the extraordinary Power of our Goddess; for whose help therefore they have reason to pray.
- ↑ Ver. 465–68. Let others creep—thro' Nature led.] In these lines are described the Disposition of the rational Inquirer, and the means and end of Knowledge. With regard to his disposition, the contemplation of the works of God with human faculties, must needs make a modest and sensible man timorous and fearful; and that will naturally direct him to the right means of acquiring the little knowledge his faculties are capable of, namely plain and sure experience; which tho' supporting only an humble foundation, and permitting only a very slow progress, yet leads, surely, to the end, the discovery of the God of nature.
- ↑ Ver. 471. the high Priori Road,] Those who, from the effects in this Visible world, deduce the Eternal Power and Godhead of the First Cause tho' they cannot attain to an adequate idea of the Deity, yet discover so much of him, as enables them to see the End of their Creation, and the Means of their Happiness: whereas they who take this high Priori Road (such as Hobbs, Spinoza, Des Cartes, and some better Reasoners) for one that goes right, ten lose themselves in Mists, or ramble after Visions which deprive them of all sight of their End, and mislead them in the choice of wrong means.
- ↑ Ver. 472. And reason downward, till we doubt of God:] This was in fact the case of those who, instead of reasoning from a visible World to an invisible God, took the other road; and from an invisible God (to whom they had given attributes agreeable to certain metaphysical principles formed out of their own imaginations) reasoned downwards to a visible world in theory, of Man's Creation; which not agreeing, as might be expected, to that of God's, they began, from their inability to account for evil which they saw in his world, to doubt of that God, whose being they had admitted, and whose at tributes they had deduced a priori, on weak and mistaken principles.
- ↑ Ver. 473. Make Nature still] This relates to such as being ashamed to assert a mere Mechanic Cause, and yet unwilling to forsake it intirely, have had recourse to a certain Plastic Nature, Elastic Fluid, Subtile Matter, &c.
- ↑ Ver. 475. Thrust some Mechanic Cause into his place,
Or bind in Matter, or diffuse in Space.]The first of these Follies is that of Des Cartes, the second of Hobbs, the third of some succeeding Philosophers. - ↑ Ver. 477. Or, at one bound, &c.] These words are very significant: In their Physical and Metaphysical reasonings it was a Chain of pretended Demonstrations that drew them into all these absurd conclusions. But their errors in Morals rest only on bold and impudent Assertions, without the least shadow of proof, in which they o'er-leap all the laws of Argument as well as Truth.
- ↑ Ver. 478, &c. Make God Man's Image, Man the final Cause,
Find Virtue local, all Relation scorn,
See all in Self———Here the Poet, from the errors relating to a Deity in Natural Philosophy, descends to those in Moral. Man was made according to God's Image; this false Theology, measuring his Attributes by ours, makes God after Man's Image. This proceeds from the imperfection of his Reason. The next, of imagining himself the Final Cause, is the effect of his Pride: as the making Virtue and Vice arbitrary, and Morality the imposition of the Magistrate, is of the Corruption of his heart. Hence he centers every thing in himself. The Progress of Dulness herein differing from that of Madness; one ends in seeing all in God, the other in seeing all in Self. - ↑ Ver. 481. Of nought so certain as our Reason still.] Of which we have most cause to be diffident. Of nought so doubtful as of Soul and Will: two things the most self-evident, the Existence of our Soul, and the Freedom of our Will.
- ↑ Ver. 484. Such as Lucretius drew,] Lib. i. ver. 57.From whence the two verses following are translated, and wonderfully agree with the character of our Goddess. Scribl.Omnis enim per se Divom natura necesse'st
Immortali ævo summa cum pace fruatur,
Semota ab nostris rebus, summotaque longe ———
Nec bene pro meritis capitur, nec tangitur ira. - ↑ Ver. 487. Or that bright Image] Bright Image was the Title given by the later Platonists to that Idea of Nature, which they had form'd in their fancy, so bright,that they call'd it Αὔτοπτον῞ Αλαλμα, or the Self-seen Image, i.e. seen by its own light.
- ↑ Ver. 488. Which Theocles in raptur'd Vision saw.] Thus this Philosopher calls upon his Friend, to partake with him in these Visions:and invoking first the Genius of the Place, we'll try to obtain at least some faint and distant view of the Sovereign Genius and first Beauty." Charact. Vol. 2. pag. 245.""To-morrow, when the Eastern Sun
With his first Beams adorns the front
Of yonder Hill, if you're content
To wander with me in the Woods you see,
We will pursue those Loves of ours,
By favour of the Sylvan Nymphs:
This Genius is thus apostrophized (pag. 345.) by the same Philosopher:Sir Isaac Newton distinguishes between these two in a very different manner. [Princ. Schol. gen. sub fin.]—Hunc cognoscimus solummode per proprietates suas & attributa, & per sapientissimas & optimas rerum structuras, & causas finales; veneramur autem & colimus ob dominium. Deus etenim sine dominio, providentia, & causis finalibus, nihil aliud est quam Fatum & Natura." ——— O glorious Nature!
Supremely fair, and sovereignly good!
All-loving, and all-lovely! all divine!
Wise Substitute of Providence! impower'd
Creatress! or impow'ring Deity,
Supreme Creator!
Thee I invoke, and thee alone adore. - ↑ Ver. 489. roves,– Or wanders wild in Academic Groves.] "Above all things I lov'd Ease, and of all Philosophers those who reason'd most at their Ease, and were never angry or disturb'd, as those call'd Sceptics never were. I look'd upon this kind of Philosophy as the prettiest, agreeablest, roving Exercise of the Mind, possible to be imagined." Vol. 2. p. 206.
- ↑ Ver. 492. Silenus] Silenus was an Epicurean Philosopher, as appears from Virgil, Eclog. 6 . where he sings the Principles of that Philosophy in his drink.
- ↑ Ver. 494. seeds of Fire;] The Epicurean language, Semina rerum, or Atoms. Virg. Eclog. 6. Semina ignis—semina flammæ—
- ↑ Ver. 499, 500.–From Priest-craft happily set free,
Lo! ev'ry finish'd Son returns to thee:The learned Scriblerus is here very whimsical. It would seem, says he, by this, as if the Priests (who are always plotting and contriving mischief against the Law of Nature) had inveigled these harm less Youths from the bosom of their Mother, and kept them in open Rebellion to her, till Silenus broke the charm, and restored them to her indulgent arms. But this is so singular a fancy, and at the same time so unsupported by proof, that we must in justice acquit them of all suspicions of this kind. - ↑ Ver. 501. First slave to Words, &c.] A Recapitulation of the whole Course of Modern Education describ'd in this book, which confines Youth to the study of Words only in Schools, subjects them to the authority of Systems in the Universities, and deludes them with the names of Party-distinctions in the World. All equally concurring to narrow the Understanding, and establish Slavery and Error in Literature, Philosophy, and Politics. The whole finished in modern Free-thinking; the completion of whatever is vain, wrong, and destructive to the happiness of mankind, as it establishes Self-love for the sole Principle of Action.
- ↑ Ver. 517. With that a Wizard old, &c.] Here beginneth the celebration of the greater Mysteries of the Goddess, which the Poet in his Invocation ver. 5. promised to sing. For when now each Aspirant, as was the custom, had proved his qualification and claim to a participation, the High-Priest of Dulness first initiateth the Assembly by the usual way of Libation. And then each of the Initiated, as was always required, putteth on a new Nature, described from ver. 518 to 529. When the High-Priest and Goddess have thus done their parts, each of them is delivered into the hands of his Conductor, an inferior Minister or Hierophant, whose names are Impudence, Stupefaction, Self-conceit, Self-interest, Pleasure, Epicurism, &c. to lead them thro' the several apartments of her Mystic Dome or Palace. When all this is over, the sovereign Goddess, from ver. 565 to 600 conferreth her Titles and Degrees; rewards inseparably attendant on the participation of the Mysteries; which made the ancient Theon say of them—καλλιςα μλυ ουν, και τ μεγιςων αγαθων, το Μυςηειων μετεχειν. Hence being enriched with so many various Gifts and Graces, Initiation into the Mysteries was anciently, as well as in these our times, esteemed a necessary qualification for every high office and employment, whether in Church or State. Lastly the great Mother shutteth up the Solemnity with her gracious benediction, which concludeth in drawing the Curtain, and laying all her Children to rest. It is to be observed that Dulness, before this her Restoration, had her Pontiffs in Partibus; who from time to time held her Mysteries in secret, and with great privacy. But now, on her Re-establishment, she celebrateth them, like those of the Cretans (the most ancient of all Mysteries) in open day, and offereth them to the inspection of all men. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 517, his Cup,—Which whoso tastes, &c.] The Cup of Self-love, which causes a total oblivion of the obligations of Friendship, or Honour, and of the Service of God or our Country; all sacrificed to Vain-glory, Court-worship, or yet meaner considerations of Lucre and brutal Pleasures. From ver. 520 to 528.
- ↑ Ver. 523, 524. Lost is his God, his Country–And nothing left but Homage to a King.] So strange as this must seem to a mere English reader, the famous Mons. de la Bruyere declares it to be the character of every good Subject in a Monarchy: "Where (says he) there is no such thing as Love of our Country, the Interest, the Glory and Service of the Prince supply its place." De la Re Republique, Chap. 10.
- ↑ Ver. 528. still keep the human shape.] The Effects of the Magus's Cup are just contrary to that of Circe. Hers took away the shape, and left the human mind: This takes away the mind, and leaves the human shape.
- ↑ Ver. 529. But she, good Goddess, &c.] The only comfort such people can receive, must be owing in some shape or other to Dulness; which makes some stupid, others impudent, gives Self-conceit to some, upon the Flatteries of their dependants, presents the false colours of Interest to others, and busies or amuses the rest with idle Pleasures or Sensuality, till they become easy under any infamy. Each of which species is here shadowed under Allegorical persons.
- ↑ Ver. 544. The balm of Dulness] The true Balm of Dulness, called by the Greek Physicians , is a Sovereign remedy, and has its name from the Goddess herself. Its ancient Dispensators were her Poets; but it is now got into as many hands as Goddard's Drops or Daffy's Elixir. It is prepared by the Clergy, as appears from several places of this poem; And by ver, 534, 535, it seems as if the Nobility had it made up in their own houses. This, which Opera is here said to administer, is but a spurious sort. See my Dissertation on the Silphium of the Antients. Bent.
- ↑ Ver. 553. The board with specious Miracles he loads, &c.] Scriblerus seems at a loss in this place. Speciosa miracula (says he) according to Horace, were the monstrous Fables of the Cyclops, Læstrygons, Scylla, &c. What relation have these to the transformation of Hares into Larks, or of Pigeons into Toads? I shall tell thee. The Læstrygons spitted Men upon Spears, as we do Larks upon Skewers: and the fair Pigeon turn'd to a Toad is similar to the fair Virgin Scylla ending in a filthy beast. But here is the difficulty, why Pigeons in so shocking a shape should be brought to a Table. Hares indeed might be cut into Larks at a second dressing, out of frugality: Yet that seems no probable motive, when we consider the extravagance before men- tion'd, of dissolving whole Oxen and Boars into a small vial of Jelly; nay it is expresly said, that all Flesh is nothing in his sight. I have searched in Apicius, Pliny, and the Feast of Trimalchio, in vain: I can only resolve it into some mysterious superstitious Rite, as it is said to be done by a Priest, and soon after called a Sacrifice, attended (as all ancient sacrifices were) with Libation and Song.
Scribl.
This good Scholiast, not being acquainted with modern Luxury, was ignorant that these were only the miracles of French Cookery, and that particularly Pigeons en crapeau were a common dish.
- ↑ Ver. 555. in all what one can shine?] Alludes to that of Virgil, Ecl. 3.
——— non omnia possumus omnes.
- ↑ Ver. 556. Seve and Verdeur] French Terms relating to Wines. St. Evremont has a very pathetic Letter to a Nobleman in disgrace, advising him to seek Comfort in a good Table, and particularly to be attentive to these Qualities in his Champaigne.
- ↑ Ver. 560. Bladen—Hays] Names of Gamesters. Bladen is a black man. Robert Knight Cashier of the South-sea Company, who fled from England in 1720, (afterwards pardoned in 1742.)—These lived with the utmost magnificence at Paris, and kept open Tables frequented by persons of the first Quality of England, and even by Princes of the Blood of France.
- ↑ Ibid. Bladen, &c.] The former Note of Bladen is a black man, is very absurd. The Manuscript here is partly obliterated, and doubtless could only have been, Wash Blackmoors white, alluding to a known Proverb. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 562. three essential Partriges in one?] i.e. two dissolved into Quintessence to make sauce for the third. The honour of this invention belongs to France, yet has it been excell'd by our native luxury, an hundred squab Turkeys being not unfrequently deposited in one Pye in the Bishopric of Durham: to which our Author alludes in ver. 593 of this work.
- ↑ Ver. 571. Some, deep Free-Masons, join the silent race] The Poet all along expresses a very particular concern for this silent Race: He has here provided, that in case they will not waken or open (as was before proposed) to a Humming Bird or Cockle, yet at worst they may be made Free-Masons; where Taciturnity is the only essential Qualification, as it was the chief of the disciples of Pythagoras.
- ↑ Ver. 576. a Gregorian, one a Gormegon.] A sort of Lay-brothers, Slips from the Root of the Free-Masons.
- ↑ Ver. 581. All my commands are easy, short, and full:
My Sons be proud, be selfish, and be dull.] We should be unjust to the reign of Dulness not to confess that her's has one advantage in it rarely to be met with in Modern Governments, which is, that the public Education of her Youth fits and prepares them for the observance of her Laws, and the exertion of those Virtues she recommends. For what makes men prouder than the empty knowledge of Words; more selfish than the Free-thinker's System of Morals; or duller than the profession of true Virtuosoship? Nor are her Institutions less admirable in themselves than in the fitness of these their several relations, to promote the harmony of the whole. For she tells her Sons, and with great truth, that "all her commands are easy, short, and full." For is anything in nature more easy than the exertion of Pride, more short and simple than the principle of Selfishness, or more full and ample than the sphere of Dulness? Thus Birth, Education, and wise Policy all concurring to support the throne of our Goddess, great must be the strength thereof. - ↑ Ver. 584. each Privilege your own, &c.] This speech of Dulness to her Sons at parting may possibly fall short of the Reader's expectation; who may imagine the Goddess might give them a Charge of more consequence, and, from such a Theory as is before delivered, incite them to the practice of something more extraordinary, than to personate Running-Footmen, Jockeys, Stage Coachmen, &c.
But if it be well consider'd, that whatever inclination they might have to do mischief, her sons are generally render'd harmless by their Inability; and that it is the common effect of Dulness (even in her greatest efforts) to defeat her own design; the Poet, I am persuaded, will be justified, and it will be allow'd that these worthy persons, in their several ranks, do as much as can be expected from them. - ↑ Ver. 590. Arachne's subtile line;] This is one of the most ingenious employments assign'd, and therefore recommended only to Peers of Learning. Of weaving Stockings of the Webs of Spiders, see the Phil. Trans.
- ↑ Ver. 591. The judge to dance his brother Serjeant call;]. Alluding perhaps to that ancient and solemn Dance intitled A Call of Sergeants.
- ↑ Ver. 598. Teach Kings to fiddle] An ancient amusement of Sovereign Princes, (viz.) Achilles, Alexander, Nero; tho' despised by Themistocles, who was a Republican—Make Senates dance, either after their Prince, or to Pontoise, or Siberia.
- ↑ Ver. 606. What Mortal can resist the Yawn of Gods?] This verse is truly Homerical; as is the conclusion of the Action, where the great Mother composes all, in the same manner as Minerva at the period of the Odyssey.—It may indeed seem a very singular Epitasis of a Poem, to end as this does, with a Great Yawn; but we must consider it as the Yawn of a God, and of powerful effects. It is not out of Nature, most long and grave counsels concluding in this very manner: Nor without Authority, the incomparable Spencer having ended one of the most considerable of his works with a Roar, but then it is the Roar of a Lion, the effects whereof are described as the Catastrophe of his Poem.
- ↑ Ver 607. Churches and Chapels, &c.] The Progress of this Yawn is judicious, natural, and worthy to be noted. First it seizeth the Churches and Chapels; then catcheth the Schools, where, tho' the boys be unwilling to sleep, the Masters are not: Next Westminster-hall, much more hard indeed to subdue, and not totally put to silence even by the Goddess: Then the Convocation, which tho' extremely desirous to speak, yet cannot: Even the House of Commons, justly called the Sense of the Nation, is lost (that is to say suspended) during the Yawn (far be it from our Author to suggest it could be lost any longer!) but it spreadeth at large over all the rest of the Kingdom, to such a degree, that Palinurus himself (tho' as incapable of sleeping as Jupiter) yet noddeth for a moment: the effect of which, tho' ever so momentary, could not but cause some Relaxation, for the time, in all public affairs. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 608. leaden] An Epithet from the Age she had just then restored, according to that sublime custom of the Easterns, in calling new-born Princes after some great and recent Event. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 610. The Convocation gap'd, but could not speak:] Implying a great desire so to do, as the learned Scholiast on the place rightly observes. Therefore beware Reader lest thou take this Gape for a Yawn, which is attended with no desire but to go to rest: by no means the disposition of the Convocation; whose melancholy case in short is this: She was, it is reported, infected with the general influence of the Goddess, and while she was yawning at her ease, a wanton Courtier took her at this advantage, and in the very nick clap'd a Gag into her mouth. Well therefore may she b e distinguished by her gaping; and this distressful posture it is our poet would describe, just as she stands at this day, a sad example of the effects of Dulness and Malice unchecked and despised. Bent.
- ↑ Ver. 614, 618.] These Verses were written many years ago, and may be found in the State Poems of that time. So that Scriblerus is mistaken, or whoever else have imagined this Poem of a fresher date.
- ↑ Ver. 620. Wits have short Memories,] This seems to be the reason why the Poets, whenever they give us a Catalogue, constantly call for help on the Muses, who, as the Daughters of Memory, are obliged not to forget any thing. So Homer, Iliad 2.And Virgil, Æn. 7.Πληθὺν δ᾽ οὐκ ἂν ἐγὼ μυθήσομαι οὐδ᾽ ὀνομήνω
Εἰ μὴ Ὀλυμπιάδες Μοῡσαι, Διὸς αἰγίοχοιο
Θυγατέρες, μνησαίαθ᾽—But our Poet had yet another reason for putting this Task upon the Muse, that all besides being asleep, she only could relate what passed. Scribl.Et meministis enim, Divæ, & memorare potestis:
Ad nos vix tenuis famæ perlabitur aura. - ↑ Ver. 624. The Venal quiet, and intrance the Dull;] It would be a Problem worthy the solution of Aristarchus himself, and (perhaps not of less importance than some of those weighty questions so long and warmly disputed amongst Homer's Scholiasts, as, in which hand Venus was wounded, and what Jupiter whisper'd in the ear of Juno) to inform us, which required the greatest effort of our Goddess's power, to intrance the Dull, or to quiet the Venal. For tho' the Venal may be more unruly than the Dull, yet, on the other hand, it demands a much greater expence of her Virtue to intrance than barely to quiet. Scribl.
- ↑ Ver. 629. the sable Throne behold] The sable Thrones of Night and Chaos, here represented as advancing to extinguish the light of the Sciences, in the first place blot out the Colours of Fancy, and damp the Fire of Wit, before they proceed to their greater work.
- ↑ Ver. 641. Truth to her old Cavern fled,] Alluding to the saying of Democritus, That Truth lay at the bottom of a deep well, from whence he had drawn her: Though Butler says, He first put her in, before he drew her out.
- ↑ Ver. 643. Philosophy, that lean'd on Heav'n] Philosophy has at length brought things to that pass, as to have it esteemed unphilosophical to rest in the first cause; as if its ends were an endless indagation of cause after cause, without ever coming to the first. So that to avoid this unlearned disgrace, some of the propagators of our best philosophy have had recourse to the contrivance here hinted at. For this Philosophy, which is founded in the principle of Gravitation, first considered that property in matter, as something extrinsical to it, and impressed immediately by God upon it. Which fairly and modestly coming up to the first Cause, was pushing natural enquiries as far as they should go. But this stopping, though at the extent of our ideas, was mistaken by foreign Philosophers as recurring to the occult qualities of the Peripatetics. To avoid which imaginary discredit to the new theory, it was thought proper to seek for the cause of gravitation in a certain elastic fluid, which pervaded all body. By this means, instead of really advancing in natural enquiries, we were brought back again by this ingenious expedient to an unsatisfactory second cause: For it might still, by the same kind of objection, be asked, what was the cause of that elasticity? See this folly censured, ver. 475.
- ↑ Ver. 645, 646. Physic of Metaphysic, &c.—And Metaphysic calls, &c.] Certain writers, as Malbranch, Norris, and others, have thought it of importance, in order to secure the existence of the soul, to bring in question the reality of body; which they have attempted to do by a very refined metaphysical reasoning: While others of the same party, in order to persuade us of the necessity of a Revelation which promises immortality, have been as anxious to prove that those qualities which are commonly supposed to belong only to an immaterial Being, are but the result from the sensations of matter, and the soul naturally mortal. Thus between these different reasonings, they have left us neither Soul nor Body: nor the Sciences of Physics and Metaphysics the least support, by making them depend upon and go a begging to one another.
- ↑ Ver. 647. See Mystery to Mathematics fly!] A sort of men (who make human Reason the adequate measure of all Truth) having pretended that whatsoever is not fully comprehended by it, is contrary to it; certain defenders of Religion, who would not be outdone in a paradox, have gone as far in the opposite folly, and attempted to shew that the mysteries of Religion may be mathematically demonstrated; as the authors of Philosophic, or Astronomic Principles, natural and reveal'd.
- ↑ Ver. 649. Religion blushing veils her sacred fires,] Blushing, not only at the view of these her false supports in the present overflow of dulness, but at the memory of the past; when the barbarous learning of so many ages was solely employed in corrupting the simplicity, and defiling the purity of Religion. Amidst the extinction of all other Lights, she is
- ↑ Ver. 650. And unawares Morality expires.) It appears from hence that our Poet was of very different sentiments from the Author of the Characteristics, who has written a formal treatise on Virtue, to prove it not only real but durable, without the support of Religion. The word unawares alludes to the confidence of those men who suppose that Morality would flourish best without it, and consequently to the surprize would be in (if any such there are) who indeed love Virtue, and yet do all they can to root out the Religion of their Country.
said only to withdraw hers; as hers alone in its own nature is inextinguishable and eternal.
Imitations
- ↑ Ver. 207. — He, kingly, did but nod;] Milton,
—He, kingly, from his State
Declin'd not ——— - ↑ Ver. 210. — is Aristarchus yet unknown?]
——— Sic notus UlyssesVirg.
Dost thou not feel me, Rome?Ben. Johnson. - ↑ Ver. 215. Roman and Greek Grammarians, &c.] Imitated from Propertius speaking of the Æneid.Cedite, Romani scriptores, cedite Graii!
Nescio quid majus nascitur Iliade. - ↑ Ver. 405. Fair from its humble bed, &c. ——— nam'd it Caroline:
Each Maid cry'd, charming! and each youth, divine!
Now prostrate! dead! behold that Caroline:
No Maid cries, charming! and no Youth, divine!These Verses are translated from Catullus, Epith.Ut flos in septis secretus nascitur hortis,
Quam mulcent auræ, firmat Sol, educat imber,
Multi illum pueri, multæ optavere puellæ:
Idem quum tenui carptus defloruit ungui,
Nulli illum pueri, nullæ optavere pullæ, &c. - ↑ Ver. 421. Of all th'enamel'd race,] The poet seems to have an eye to Spenser, Muiopotmos.Of all the race of silver-winged Flies
Which do possess the Empire of the Air. - ↑ Ver. 427, 428. It fled, I follow'd, &c.]———I started back,
It started back; but pleas'd I soon return'd,
Pleas'd it return'd as soon ———Milton. - ↑ Ver. 518. Which whoso tastes, forgets his former friends,—Sire, &c.] Homer of the Nepenthe, Odyss. 4.Αυτικ αρ εις οινον βαλε φαρμακον, ενθεν επινον
Νηπενθες τ αχολον τε, κακων δπιληθον απαντων. - ↑ Ver. 637. As Argus eyes, &c.]Et quamvis sopor est oculorum parte receptus,
Parte tamen vigilat ———
———Vidit Cyllenius omnes
Succubuisse oculos, &c.Ovid, Met. 2.